General Power of Attorney

[GinAA]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IN

My EX has left with the military out of the country. Before he even got on the plane I am getting emails from his wife demanding information concerning a debit card my EX gave my son. I knew nothing about this debit card and took it from my son, emailed my EX and asked what it was for, how it worked and his rules for it's use. My EX called me and explained everything and we were on the same page about it. I returned the card to my son.

I later get a reply to my Email that was pretty snarky and was signed by my EX. I know it was his wife because he told me that she would be replying and that he wouldn't have Email access until Monday (this was on Saturday). I sent her a seperate email stating that I knew it was her and to please not act as my EX when replying to emails and be honest that it's herself.

Here is where the problem starts. I get several emails both from my EX and his wife stating that she (the wife) has a General Power of Attorney that gives her the authority to act as my EX and make decisions in all matters including decisions for my son and the child support.

Can this be correct? My EX said that a copy was faxed to my lawyer but she has received nothing at this point. Can a General POA actually allow someone else to make decisions concerning our son? She is already making demands about knowing what money I am spending on my son. I'm just floored and have refused to answer her emails or copy her on any emails I have between me and my EX.

Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

Ex can give power of attorney to someone while he is overseas. You have a right to see that form, so ask him to send it again.

HOWEVER, his power of attorney can not override your rights. He can only transfer his own rights to his wife, so she can not simply override your instructions.

AND, a general power of attorney does not give her any rights wrt child support. Child support is a court order and must be followed. He has no rights to change it, so there are no rights that he can transfer to her.

 

[GinAA]

Ex can give power of attorney to someone while he is overseas. You have a right to see that form, so ask him to send it again.

HOWEVER, his power of attorney can not override your rights. He can only transfer his own rights to his wife, so she can not simply override your instructions.

AND, a general power of attorney does not give her any rights wrt child support. Child support is a court order and must be followed. He has no rights to change it, so there are no rights that he can transfer to her.

Thanks misto.....

I'm still waiting to hear from my lawyer today.

So if his own rights have been transfered to his wife, is she able to exercise his visitation schedule? Do I have to ask her about medical treatment and get her approval? Can she take me to court for issues concerning my son as if she is my EX? This is basically what they both have been telling me. Threatening me that if I don't comply with what they want, she will take me to court. Just seems wrong.

 

[SESmama]

She is already making demands about knowing what money I am spending on my son.

I don't believe the ex even has a right to this information unless court ordered.

 

[GinAA]

I don't believe the ex even has a right to this information unless court ordered.

That I know and has been adressed formally with my EX. He never questions me about the money. My EX gave my son a debit card that they can monitor and put money on. Well, my son started texting them asking for more money on his card for camping supplies for his Scout camp. I was being interrogated as to why I had not gotten everything he needed. I told the wife to butt out and I didn't have to tell her anything. My son was just trying to get money for his own use but manipulated the situation. I told my EX that this is exactly what would happen.

But anyway.....

Got email from my lawyer. They have received nothing.

 

[randolph76]

Thanks misto.....

I'm still waiting to hear from my lawyer today.

So if his own rights have been transfered to his wife, is she able to exercise his visitation schedule? Do I have to ask her about medical treatment and get her approval? Can she take me to court for issues concerning my son as if she is my EX? This is basically what they both have been telling me. Threatening me that if I don't comply with what they want, she will take me to court. Just seems wrong.

No, the visitation rights would not transfer to his wife. You should think what's best for the child, however, and may allow visitations anyways due any bonds that have formed between the two. Medical treatment you would have to consult with her as you would your ex. I don't think she'd prevail in court trying to modify custody or child support, if that's what you mean by taking you to court for issues concerning your son.

On a side note, when I deployed the lawyer recommended against general POAs and using POAs for each specific area you needed covered, i.e. medical, childcare, etc. He said it was much too broad and could lead to the person making decisions in areas you didn't intend.

 

[nextwife]

I CAN say that if she is being asked to refill a debit card, and must report to hubby, it is not unreasable to ask a child what the money is intended for. She surely can butt out and not refill it.

I sure don't give my kiddo carte blanc to buy whatever she wants and not report what she is spending on.

 

[GinAA]

No, the visitation rights would not transfer to his wife. You should think what's best for the child, however, and may allow visitations anyways due any bonds that have formed between the two. Medical treatment you would have to consult with her as you would your ex. I don't think she'd prevail in court trying to modify custody or child support, if that's what you mean by taking you to court for issues concerning your son.

On a side note, when I deployed the lawyer recommended against general POAs and using POAs for each specific area you needed covered, i.e. medical, childcare, etc. He said it was much too broad and could lead to the person making decisions in areas you didn't intend.

I did not think the visitation rights would transfer. There is a lot of back story to the situation and I don't object to my son visiting his step-mother. That was not the issue in this case. It was the way she was demanding information and telling me that I had to comply. I have asked that my EX stop this and just concentrate on himself and his family's stress with his deploying this weekend. They both refuse and continue the email onslaught. It's just sad that they waste time on this situation rather than dealing with the stresses of his deployment alone.

 

[GinAA]

I CAN say that if she is being asked to refill a debit card, and must report to hubby, it is not unreasoable to ask a child what the money is intended for. She surely can butt out and not refill it.

I sure don't give my kiddo carte blanc to buy whatever she wants and not report what she is spending on.

That's the thing, Nextwife, she is saying that she doesn't have to report to my EX and that it's her decision alone. I told her my son didn't need anything for camp and she said I had to tell her what I had gotten him and how much I spent. I did not reply.

I had sent a list of activities that our son was participating in and the cost of each, to my EX. This was about a month ago. He has never contributed in the past and I really didn't expect him to now. He replies that his wife will be handling their finances and I have to ask her directly. I didn't respond and just let it go. Then I get an email from his wife that is asking about all this stuff and that I must not need the money since I won't give her the information she wants. I didn't reply to that either.

It's just a sad mess and I keep trying to drop it but neither of them will. The whole POA thing came up because she kept replying to the emails I sent to my EX but signed them as him. I replied to one of them that if she can't use her own email account to contact me, I would not reply. Hence the POA and "she is me" stuff from the EX. I don't think the POA is intended to allow his EX to impersonate him by sending emails acting as him.

More drama than I care to deal with.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IN

My EX has left with the military out of the country. Before he even got on the plane I am getting emails from his wife demanding information concerning a debit card my EX gave my son. I knew nothing about this debit card and took it from my son, emailed my EX and asked what it was for, how it worked and his rules for it's use. My EX called me and explained everything and we were on the same page about it. I returned the card to my son.

I later get a reply to my Email that was pretty snarky and was signed by my EX. I know it was his wife because he told me that she would be replying and that he wouldn't have Email access until Monday (this was on Saturday). I sent her a seperate email stating that I knew it was her and to please not act as my EX when replying to emails and be honest that it's herself.

Here is where the problem starts. I get several emails both from my EX and his wife stating that she (the wife) has a General Power of Attorney that gives her the authority to act as my EX and make decisions in all matters including decisions for my son and the child support.

Can this be correct? My EX said that a copy was faxed to my lawyer but she has received nothing at this point. Can a General POA actually allow someone else to make decisions concerning our son? She is already making demands about knowing what money I am spending on my son. I'm just floored and have refused to answer her emails or copy her on any emails I have between me and my EX.

Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

No, the POA does not give the ex's wife any authority whatsoever in regards to your son. Dad could give her a POA to act on his behalf if the child was living in his/her household, but not while the child is living in yours. In addition, only the court orders control child support, a POA given by an obligor to his spouse certain would not. Your ex and she may think that it gives her authority regarding your son and child support, but it absolutely does not.

She is stepping way over the line if she is asking you about money that you are spending on your son. That is actually none of your ex's business, let alone her business.

Now, if she wants to know what your son is using the debt card for, because she is keeping track of the bank account, then that would be reasonable information for her to ask for.

 

[GinAA]

No, the POA does not give the ex's wife any authority whatsoever in regards to your son. Dad could give her a POA to act on his behalf if the child was living in his/her household, but not while the child is living in yours. In addition, only the court orders control child support, a POA given by an obligor to his spouse certain would not. Your ex and she may think that it gives her authority regarding your son and child support, but it absolutely does not.

She is stepping way over the line if she is asking you about money that you are spending on your son. That is actually none of your ex's business, let alone her business.

Now, if she wants to know what your son is using the debt card for, because she is keeping track of the bank account, then that would be reasonable information for her to ask for.

Thank you LdiJ!

Wow, much better now. I will just continue not to reply to the emails.

As for the debit card. My EX said that they can check the account and see what or where he is using it and that I don't have to do anything to monitor it. I told them that there are things I do not allow our son to have and if I find he is using the card to purchase those things, I will take it from him. They actually think that I would use the card myself! That was one of the accusations. I am done with it. Thank you all for your help!

 

[randolph76]

OP, no POAs do not mean you get to impersonate anyone. However, with email you never really know who sends them anyways. The honest way for her to deal with it would be to send an email from her account and explain that she has questions regarding the debit card and that ex gave her a POA.

I do agree with LDiJ, she seems to really be overstepping some bounds here. POAs only allow her to make transactions for him. It doesn't give her any powers he wouldn't have and would actually give her less (re: custody and child support).

 

[LdiJ]

OP, no POAs do not mean you get to impersonate anyone. However, with email you never really know who sends them anyways. The honest way for her to deal with it would be to send an email from her account and explain that she has questions regarding the debit card and that ex gave her a POA.

I do agree with LDiJ, she seems to really be overstepping some bounds here. POAs only allow her to make transactions for him. It doesn't give her any powers he wouldn't have and would actually give her less (re: custody and child support).

Randolph, I would also like to point out that the POA does not require mom to consult with stepmom regarding medical care for the child. That is not a right that dad can transfer via a POA either.

 

[GinAA]

OP, no POAs do not mean you get to impersonate anyone. However, with email you never really know who sends them anyways. The honest way for her to deal with it would be to send an email from her account and explain that she has questions regarding the debit card and that ex gave her a POA.

I do agree with LDiJ, she seems to really be overstepping some bounds here. POAs only allow her to make transactions for him. It doesn't give her any powers he wouldn't have and would actually give her less (re: custody and child support).

randolph (love you sig line!)

I just received an attachment of the POA. It doesn't state anything about children or parenting and it's not even signed.

As for the emails, I have told her to use only an account with her name and copy whoever she wants to. I just received another email concerning the POA being faxed and the last line is directed at my EX stating that, "See, I was right. She has no intention of letting me see *son*!" Not once has she asked me about seeing our son, not once! This has all been about the stupid debit card!

Anyway, I'm done. Thank you all, again. I have learned a lot here.

 

[Ohiogal]

I did not think the visitation rights would transfer. There is a lot of back story to the situation and I don't object to my son visiting his step-mother. That was not the issue in this case. It was the way she was demanding information and telling me that I had to comply. I have asked that my EX stop this and just concentrate on himself and his family's stress with his deploying this weekend. They both refuse and continue the email onslaught. It's just sad that they waste time on this situation rather than dealing with the stresses of his deployment alone.

They don't transfer but per law he is entitled to make up time:

§ 31-17-4-10. Missed parenting time; parent in military


A noncustodial parent who misses parenting time as the result of participation in an activity of:

(1) the Indiana National Guard; or

(2) a reserve component of the armed forces of the United States;

may make up the lost parenting time as provided in IC 10-16-7-22.

§ 10-16-7-22. Parenting time; making up lost parenting time


If a member of the Indiana National Guard or a member of a reserve component of the armed forces of the United States:

(1) is a noncustodial parent (as defined in IC 31-9-2-83 );

(2) misses parenting time as provided in an order issued under IC 31-14-14 or IC 31-17-4 due to participating in an activity required under this chapter; and

(3) notifies the custodial parent at least seven (7) days before the member misses the anticipated parenting time described in subdivision (2), unless the member is unable to provide notice due to a government emergency;

the member shall be allowed to make up the lost parenting time at the member's earliest convenience but not later than one (1) month after the member misses the parenting time under this section, if exercising the lost parenting time does not conflict with the child's school schedule.

So the last month of time he misses he can make up when he gets back.