new to divorce, need initial info please! - OH

[dumbagain]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OHIO

my wife is cheating on me. i have caught her in lies and have text messages to prove the cheating. she has also confessed to me.

no kids just house + $.

we are trying to work it out but if that dont work i am wondering what my next step would be to initiate a divorce?

is there anything a lawyer can do like a "post" nuptial agreement?
could we write a legal document of some sort while we are married?
basically saying if one of us is unfaithful from this point on we are held responsible legally?

really need some help on this one. the girl is my everything. i have forgiven but i need something more than trust to work with now to save my sanity.

thank you

 

[dumbagain]

just found this....i figure a "post" nup won't work?

Ohio bans all postnuptial contracting under Ohio Rev. Code Ann. § 3103.06 [41] which reads “A husband and wife cannot, by any contract with each other, alter their legal relations, except that they may agree to an immediate separation and make provisions for the support of either of them and their children during the separation.” Additionally, Ohio courts have traditionally refused to enforce postnutpial agreements executed in other states if the couple in question is domiciled in Ohio.[42]


do i have any options? if shes the one that cheated can i fight for the house? it is in both our names though.

what are my options? divorce, pre-nup, re-marry? i dont know

 

[Ohiogal]

just found this....i figure a "post" nup won't work?

Ohio bans all postnuptial contracting under Ohio Rev. Code Ann. § 3103.06 [41] which reads “A husband and wife cannot, by any contract with each other, alter their legal relations, except that they may agree to an immediate separation and make provisions for the support of either of them and their children during the separation.” Additionally, Ohio courts have traditionally refused to enforce postnutpial agreements executed in other states if the couple in question is domiciled in Ohio.[42]


do i have any options? if shes the one that cheated can i fight for the house? it is in both our names though.

what are my options? divorce, pre-nup, re-marry? i dont know

Postnups are not allowed. YOu can fight for the house. If in both your names, you are both entitled to half the equity so can you afford to buy her out? Your options are to either divorce, legally separate, or stay married.

 

[dumbagain]

i dont want to "take her to the cleaners". we share everything and only our cars are in our names separately.

the house is in both our names, i am just wondering if i have any rights OR do i have an extra advantage if i fight for the house because she cheated on me and wants out?

i am just worried about getting "shafted" (some how kicked out of my house) when it was my wife who cheated.

 

[mistoffolees]

i dont want to "take her to the cleaners". we share everything and only our cars are in our names separately.

the house is in both our names, i am just wondering if i have any rights OR do i have an extra advantage if i fight for the house because she cheated on me and wants out?

i am just worried about getting "shafted" (some how kicked out of my house) when it was my wife who cheated.

As you were told, you are entitled to 1/2 of marital assets and 1/2 of marital debts. If one of you wants the house, you need to be able to pay the other party for their share of the equity. If the other party is smart, they'll also insist that you refinance in your own name.

Info on Ohio divorce:
Divorce in Ohio (OH) - Lawyers.com

Adultery does not appear to be a factor in determining alimony OR property division in OH (although OG would know for sure). The person with primary custody of the kids MIGHT be able to argue for additional assets in order to keep the child in the marital home, but I suspect that this would be the exception rather than the rule - and it doesn't apply in your case, anyway.

But even if adultery might be a factor in your case, you'd have to balance that against the higher cost of a disputed divorce. You and your stbx can simply agree to get a divorce and how to divide the property and this will be the cheapest, fastest way to do it. If you start arguing that stbx is at fault due to adultery, you're going to have a much more contentious, expensive, and lengthier divorce - with no real benefit.

 

[Ohiogal]

As you were told, you are entitled to 1/2 of marital assets and 1/2 of marital debts. If one of you wants the house, you need to be able to pay the other party for their share of the equity. If the other party is smart, they'll also insist that you refinance in your own name.

Info on Ohio divorce:
Divorce in Ohio (OH) - Lawyers.com

Adultery does not appear to be a factor in determining alimony OR property division in OH (although OG would know for sure). The person with primary custody of the kids MIGHT be able to argue for additional assets in order to keep the child in the marital home, but I suspect that this would be the exception rather than the rule - and it doesn't apply in your case, anyway.

But even if adultery might be a factor in your case, you'd have to balance that against the higher cost of a disputed divorce. You and your stbx can simply agree to get a divorce and how to divide the property and this will be the cheapest, fastest way to do it. If you start arguing that stbx is at fault due to adultery, you're going to have a much more contentious, expensive, and lengthier divorce - with no real benefit.

Adultery COULD be a factor for someone RECEIVING alimony due to the fact that cohabitation is reason for adultery to END. Adultery in and of itself does NOT affect property settlement UNLESS the adulterer dissipated marital assets on the lover and that could be used to argue for a larger chunk of the marital pie so to speak. So does adultery in and of itself matter? No. But it can affect things.

 

[dumbagain]

i am trying to figure out something that would give me (us both) peace of mind in case one of us slips up again.

was thinking divorce, pre-nup, re-marry if possible.

question is...is there some sort of documentation that can be done that says if someone commits adultery that the other one is entitled to the house. can a lawyer just write up something generic like that or is there more to it.

we want to work it out, we are going to go to consuling, BUT for a peace a mind i dont want to be shafted AGAIN. she doesn't want to leave our house and thats keeping her holding on for the wrong reasons right now.

???????


also what about intentional infliction of emotional distress laws in ohio? trying to figure that one out also.

 

[mistoffolees]

i am trying to figure out something that would give me (us both) peace of mind in case one of us slips up again.

was thinking divorce, pre-nup, re-marry if possible.

Legally, you could probably do that, but I doubt if it would be as easy as you're claiming. One party could possibly claim that the entire 'divorce, pre-nup, re-marry' thing was an intentional setup to commit fraud. That claim might not go anywhere, but the prenup would have to be VERY carefully written.

However (non-legal advice to follow): if that's what you're thinking about, I really doubt if remarrying makes any sense.

question is...is there some sort of documentation that can be done that says if someone commits adultery that the other one is entitled to the house. can a lawyer just write up something generic like that or is there more to it.

we want to work it out, we are going to go to consuling, BUT for a peace a mind i dont want to be shafted AGAIN. she doesn't want to leave our house and thats keeping her holding on for the wrong reasons right now.

As explained above, if one commits adultery, it does not automatically entitled the other party to the house.

Sounds to me like the two of you need to first figure out if you want to be together and then make your plans based on the answer to that question.

also what about intentional infliction of emotional distress laws in ohio? trying to figure that one out also.

Forget it. Alienation of affection is definitely out - it doesn't apply in OH. Intentional infliction of emotional distress is very difficult to prove - and probably not worth the bother.

Alienation of Affections | divorcenet.com

For that matter, the fact that you're talking about re-marrying pretty much precludes winning an IIED action.

 

[ecmst12]

You think if you divorce your wife she will be willing to sign a prenup and marry you again? You must be kidding.

 

[mistoffolees]

You think if you divorce your wife she will be willing to sign a prenup and marry you again? You must be kidding.

Ya think?

However, I've been here long enough to know that there's probably nothing you can dream up that SOMEONE wouldn't go along with .... because they loooooovvveee each other.

 

[ecmst12]

This has nothing to do with love of course, it's all about the money.

 

[dumbagain]

what this is about is trying to save the marriage but she has an "addiction" to her phone and the only, right now, for me to be able to "trust" her would be to know that i could get the house if she screws up again.

we mutually dont want to loose this our property which will happen if we divorce. with a divorce, prenup, remarry we can continue to mend things but i wont be the emotional wreck thinking that she wont be able to stay away from this other person. just want to make it work without me getting screwed again. i really dont think she can do but i have to try.

we BOTH agree that if this is possible to do we will do it.

 

[Silverplum]

Dude. There's a bazillion women out there.

Why on earth would you want to hook up with that one again??

what this is about is trying to save the marriage but she has an "addiction" to her phone and the only, right now, for me to be able to "trust" her would be to know that i could get the house if she screws up again.

we mutually dont want to loose this our property which will happen if we divorce. with a divorce, prenup, remarry we can continue to mend things but i wont be the emotional wreck thinking that she wont be able to stay away from this other person. just want to make it work without me getting screwed again. i really dont think she can do but i have to try.

we BOTH agree that if this is possible to do we will do it.

 

[mistoffolees]

what this is about is trying to save the marriage but she has an "addiction" to her phone and the only, right now, for me to be able to "trust" her would be to know that i could get the house if she screws up again.

we mutually dont want to loose this our property which will happen if we divorce. with a divorce, prenup, remarry we can continue to mend things but i wont be the emotional wreck thinking that she wont be able to stay away from this other person. just want to make it work without me getting screwed again. i really dont think she can do but i have to try.

we BOTH agree that if this is possible to do we will do it.

If you're both sure you want to do it, then you need to consult two separate attorneys (one for each of you). A prenup is NEVER valid unless each party has their own attorney. Yours will be even trickier because one party or the other could claim later that the whole 'divorce, prenup, remarry' scheme was an intent to defraud from the start, so it will need to be worded VERY carefully - and even then, there's no guarantee you won't have problems down the road.

Each of you needs to make an appointment with your own attorney.

 

[Ohiogal]

If you're both sure you want to do it, then you need to consult two separate attorneys (one for each of you). A prenup is NEVER valid unless each party has their own attorney. Yours will be even trickier because one party or the other could claim later that the whole 'divorce, prenup, remarry' scheme was an intent to defraud from the start, so it will need to be worded VERY carefully - and even then, there's no guarantee you won't have problems down the road.

Each of you needs to make an appointment with your own attorney.

And it can be easily proven it is to defraud the court. So therefore the prenup would NOT hold up.