How long should I wait?

[EmmeRose]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN

(Yet another question sorry!)
So, I was able to see my daughter for the first time in 6 months the weekend before last weekend and it was so much fun! Over that weekend, I had texted and called her mother asking her questions and when I brought up the future and the next time I'd be able to see my daughter, she would say "We'll discuss this Sunday when I come pick her up." So I waited until Sunday and she said she wasn't feeling well and picked up our daughter and told me she would talk to me Monday about it. Well, now Monday rolled around and I texted her twice, no answer. I've now texted her every other day, called and left a message 3 times and get no answer at all.
The judge ordered on May 25 that I get 2 non-consecutive weeks with her before she starts school but not until I see her for one weekend. I have seen her for the 1 weekend but she already starts school July 19th. The judge apparently thought it was do-able but I bet he thought she would talk to me.

Should I keep waiting and being patient or should I take her back to court already? This is a huge time constraint and I probably won't even get a court day until after she is in school.
Would the judge even do anything if I take her back to court? Any advice would be great because already, after just taking her to court on May 25, she's already ignoring all contact with me.

 

[CJane]

Well, what - exactly - does the order say?

And school starts July 19? REAL school?

 

[SESmama]

From what I now you cannot file contempt n what might happen. You can only file once the action has been denied AND passed. So your first weekend with your daughter was June 17-19? Why did you wait so long for the first weekend? If you get 2 non-consecutive weeks then you need to get those scheduled now and not pussy foot around. You only have 22 days before her school starts.

 

[EmmeRose]

Her mother is sending her to summer school and that was stated in the papers.
I don't have the papers on me, I accidentally left them at my mother's house in MN, the place where it is court ordered me to have my daughter until September. She is mailing them to me and so I should have them by the end of the week.
Sorry, I can wait for other responses until I have the paperwork.

 

[EmmeRose]

I waited so long because the court order said "the 4th weekend of every month" but my ex allowed it to be the 3rd because it was more convenient for her. I'm flexible so I was fine with it. The court order just states "2 non-consecutive weekends before minor child starts school." My ex has informed me it starts July 19th. The judge never knew the dates, nor were they mentioned in the court papers, she just said "sure, he can have her before she started school." So it was written that I could have her before she starts school which of course, it's not September like normal school, no, she is putting her in summer school.
Again, sorry I don't have exact wording but I will by the end of the week.

So I have to wait until she starts summer school to go to court over it? I have to wait until I can't see my daughter just because she isn't texting me or calling me.

 

[PQN]

Is this actually summer SCHOOL offered through her regular school for credit? Or is it summer camp?


If it is summer camp, it doesn't count. Either way, it is doubtful that it goes all the way until the school year starts. Send your ex a certified letter stating that you will be exercising your court ordered visitation from July 10 at 8:00am until July 16 at 8:00pm and August 20 at 8:00am until August 26th at 8:00pm (check with her REAL school to make sure you schedule it so it doesn't conflict).

If you don't give mom actual dates AND attempt to pick up your daughter for the visitation, you will have trouble proving contempt. Mom can claim that you never told her when you wanted your visitation.

 

[CJane]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/visitation-modification-547617.html

 

[EmmeRose]

I don't know what school she attends. When I have asked her, my ex informs me that it is none of my concern because she has full custody, both physical and legal. She says because I only have visitation rights, I have no rights knowing about her school, her medical information, religious information, or anything like that.

She just finished kindergarten, but her mother said she's being enrolled in summer school because she is behind in her schooling and needs to catch up to be enrolled in first grade.

I will mail her a letter stating for when I would like visitation. Thank you very much for your quick replies.

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

OP, weren't you and Mom married? You don't even share legal custody? Is this something that is pending in the court right now, or has it already been determined?

Mom should not be keeping the child's school information from you. Make sure you bring that up the next time you go to court. Even if you have no legal custody, it will not look good for Mom that she was keeping this information from you.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Barring a court order otherwise, you are LEGALLY entitled to medical and school information.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Since you will be going back to court, have the courts address this.

 

[SESmama]

OK, is it 2 non-consecutive weeks?

The judge ordered on May 25 that I get 2 non-consecutive weeks with her before she starts school but not until I see her for one weekend.

or weekends?

The court order just states "2 non-consecutive weekends before minor child starts school."

However, yes, give her specific dates as to when you plan on taking the remaining ordered time.

 

[EmmeRose]

Sorry, I meant two non-consecutive weeks. I get her every fourth weekend as well.
Yes, we were married but yes, she has full legal and physical custody. Our lawyers set it up that way and I was stupid back then and agreed. I now regret it. That was all determined since she was 4 years old, she is almost 7 now. There is no court order barring me from anything as far as I'm aware of but besides the visitation orders, the paperwork doesn't discuss much about our child besides things like she gets to claim her on her taxes, she has to submit to me her medical bills within 10 days etc. The divorce papers are mostly about who got what in the divorce.
Should I file for joint legal custody? I would like to know what school my daughter goes to and have more of a say on when her mother decides to up and move like she has around the cities 5 times since we've been divorced. How would I go about doing that? Is it just filing for custody or is there one specifically for legal custody?

 

[CJane]

Should I file for joint legal custody?

My opinion? Not at this point. You've been uninvolved - partially because of Mom's behavior, but partly because of the choices you've made as well. Jumping into joint decision-making won't help the situation.

I would like to know what school my daughter goes to

You don't need joint legal for that.

and have more of a say on when her mother decides to up and move like she has around the cities 5 times since we've been divorced.

You live several hours away in a different state. You'll have no say over whether or not mom decides to move.

How would I go about doing that? Is it just filing for custody or is there one specifically for legal custody?

You'd have to file a custody modification, but I personally think it's a bad idea, from a cost/benefit standpoint.

 

[PQN]

Google is your friend. You can google mom's town, find the school district, determine which school she is zoned to attend and call them. Start just by asking for the dates of the summer school and the start of the school year (although that may be posted on their website), then tell them you are the NCP of Emma Rose and you would like to be added to their communication list to get all school e-mails, broadcast phone alerts, mailings and her report cards. Ask them to send you a copy of her report cards from kindergarten. They may not have the name of her 1st grade teacher yet, but they can tell you when that info is available and you can call back and get it.