Attending court

[cwmayhem]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
My ex and I are in the middle of a custody/child support battle. I just have one quick question: His "attorney" states in numerous letters derogatory things about me every time. (will be reporting her to state board for numerous infractions soon). Recently she stated that because i attend all status hearings, she feels i am "obsessed with this case and with my ex". Not true. Is it a bad thing to attend all dates if i am able? Will the judge see this as a negative?

Thanks!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
My ex and I are in the middle of a custody/child support battle. I just have one quick question: His "attorney" states in numerous letters derogatory things about me every time. (will be reporting her to state board for numerous infractions soon). Recently she stated that because i attend all status hearings, she feels i am "obsessed with this case and with my ex". Not true. Is it a bad thing to attend all dates if i am able? Will the judge see this as a negative?

Thanks!

Are you a party to the status hearings? His attorney owes you NOTHING. She does not have infractions against you by stating negative/derogatory/untrue things about you in the court process.

 

[cwmayhem]

While I appreciate your response, according to IL statute, she has an obligation to respect the rights of a third party, namely me. I have already talked to the ARDC. So you are incorrect in that aspect. I am a party to the status as well. I have brought 1/2 of these motions.

 

[Isis1]

While I appreciate your response, according to IL statute, she has an obligation to respect the rights of a third party, namely me. I have already talked to the ARDC. So you are incorrect in that aspect. I am a party to the status as well. I have brought 1/2 of these motions.

okay. i'm not being a jerk, but what exact rights is she not respecting? and when i say "rights", i'm refering to your constitutional rights. not your feelings. so please explain.

 

[Proserpina]

While I appreciate your response, according to IL statute, she has an obligation to respect the rights of a third party, namely me. I have already talked to the ARDC. So you are incorrect in that aspect. I am a party to the status as well. I have brought 1/2 of these motions.

Perhaps the attorney feels that her impression of you is accurate.

Nothing wrong with expressing her opinion - even if it hurts your feelings.

Now calling you a psychotic <insert insult> who is a danger to everyone around you...that would be out of line. But still likely not actionable....

 

[cwmayhem]

To get away from the other "attorney", my main question was and still is, would it look negative in the judge's eyes for me to attend status dates, etc. as these all involve the case that I have against my ex.
I believe because it does involve me and I am the custodial parent, and ex is months behind on cs, and has numerous contempt issues against him, I have the right to be there.
Is this not correct?

 

[CJane]

I'm confused.

You and your ex are engaged in a custody battle or child support battle or something of that nature.

There have been multiple status conferences.

You have attended all of these.

Opposing counsel has an issue with you attending these status conferences and has filed a motion in which she states that your attendance at these conferences indicates obsession?

 

[teach85]

I'm confused.

You and your ex are engaged in a custody battle or child support battle or something of that nature.

There have been multiple status conferences.

You have attended all of these.

Opposing counsel has an issue with you attending these status conferences and has filed a motion in which she states that your attendance at these conferences indicates obsession?

That is what I am getting out of it.

 

[Ohiogal]

She mentions however that the attorney needs to respect her rights as THIRD PARTY. Which means she IS NOT INVOLVED in the case. I don't see where the attorney is doing anything wrong or that this OP has anything actionable against opposing counsel.

 

[mistoffolees]

She mentions however that the attorney needs to respect her rights as THIRD PARTY. Which means she IS NOT INVOLVED in the case. I don't see where the attorney is doing anything wrong or that this OP has anything actionable against opposing counsel.

Agreed. The attorney's job is to present information that his/her client provides him. Much of that is going to be negative.

Heck, almost every contested divorce I've ever seen has attorneys saying something negative about the other side. OP needs a thicker skin.

 

[single317dad]

I'm confused.

You and your ex are engaged in a custody battle or child support battle or something of that nature.

There have been multiple status conferences.

You have attended all of these.

Opposing counsel has an issue with you attending these status conferences and has filed a motion in which she states that your attendance at these conferences indicates obsession?

That's how I read it, and personally, instead of whining about opposing counsel's snarky comments, I would continue to show up to said hearings, grinning mischievously all the while (though never saying anything or causing a confrontation, that would certainly work against OP.) I might also be inclined to find a few other public hearings involving that attorney and show up to them as well

 

[cwmayhem]

I'm sorry. Maybe i wasn't clear in my original post. The "third party" part I mentioned was in letters to my attorney where she states her opinions which are only intended to embarrass and humiliate me. As i am not the addresse or the addressor, I am a third party in the letters. She, so far, is not stating things in front of the judge. I do have a thick skin. However, at one point she threatened to involve my 6 year old daughter in one of her letters. My daughter is NOT part of the actions.
These are her opinions and feelings. Ex, I'm sure is feeding her lies.
The fact is I go to the court dates. She states in letters to my attorney, for one thing, that I only go to these "with the hopes that I will catch a glimpse of my ex". Not because i am involved.
Am i wrong to attend each date? Will it reflect negatively because I want to know what is going on?
Other attorney has filed no motion regarding my attendance, she states it in letters to my attorney.
Also, while I understand ex has a right to his feelings and emotions, since when is it ok for an attorney to go beyond and insert her opinions and feelings. i was under the impression that an attorney should be professional in the eyes of the law, which this attorney severely lacks in professionalism.
We use an attorney because they should know the law, not because they also dislike our ex. The attorney has made this case "her" case. She has become emotionally involved which can never be good and so far has only accomplished in extending the case and in fact, her bills.

Singledad - I like the way you think!

 

[mistoffolees]

I'm sorry. Maybe i wasn't clear in my original post. The "third party" part I mentioned was in letters to my attorney where she states her opinions which are only intended to embarrass and humiliate me. As i am not the addresse or the addressor, I am a third party in the letters. She, so far, is not stating things in front of the judge. I do have a thick skin. However, at one point she threatened to involve my 6 year old daughter in one of her letters. My daughter is NOT part of the actions.
These are her opinions and feelings. Ex, I'm sure is feeding her lies.
The fact is I go to the court dates. She states in letters to my attorney, for one thing, that I only go to these "with the hopes that I will catch a glimpse of my ex". Not because i am involved.
Am i wrong to attend each date? Will it reflect negatively because I want to know what is going on?
Other attorney has filed no motion regarding my attendance, she states it in letters to my attorney.
Also, while I understand ex has a right to his feelings and emotions, since when is it ok for an attorney to go beyond and insert her opinions and feelings. i was under the impression that an attorney should be professional in the eyes of the law, which this attorney severely lacks in professionalism.
We use an attorney because they should know the law, not because they also dislike our ex. The attorney has made this case "her" case. She has become emotionally involved which can never be good and so far has only accomplished in extending the case and in fact, her bills.

Singledad - I like the way you think!

Grow up. It's not going to hurt anyone if the attorney says bad things about you. Should that attorney sue you because you're saying bad things about him on this forum?

If he tries to bring a 6 year old in, you can ask the judge to block it - and there are very few (if any) cases where a 6 year old would be called to testify in a parents' divorce. But simply making threats isn't illegal - and it's clearly accomplishing their objective. They're trying to make you act like a nutcase - and it appears to be working.

I'm going to give you one word that if you learn to use it properly can GREATLY reduce your stress level, legal costs, and make the entire process much less painful: IGNORE.

 

[Shears]

Grow up. It's not going to hurt anyone if the attorney says bad things about you. .....
.....

I'm going to give you one word that if you learn to use it properly can GREATLY reduce your stress level, legal costs, and make the entire process much less painful: IGNORE.

Ditto that. Just want to share that the correspondence I read between my ex's attorney and mine in our last go-around made me sick. Ex's attorney was flat-out unprofessional and unethical. The things he said about me were utter lies, and just insulting to my character and who I am as a father. And illogical to boot! So I stewed for 2 days, wrote a letter 'in my head' to him, and then had to move on. If that man can wake up every day and look at himself in the mirror and be OK with what is refelected, then so be it. Ignore, ignore, ignore...

 

[Free_Advice]

Recently she stated that because i attend all status hearings, she feels i am "obsessed with this case and with my ex".

Thanks!

I don't see how being "obsessed" can be seen as a negative in this instance...seems like you are very proactive, nothing wrong with that.

And keep in mind that the letter sent is being sent to your attny ... so its an attny to attny letter. Comments like this are common.

What do you care what the other attny thinks of you anyway?

Get over it ...

The judge won't care if you are there or not for every hearing date.