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cant handle teenage son

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mom in despare

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? california
my son is 16 going to be 17 in 2 months he leaves when he wants dosent tell me where he goes. he attemted suiced with my high blood pressure pills. he did this all because of a girl. she is only 15 and illegal here but thats not the problem her family tells him he has to pay her rent. now the girl is pregnant my son ranaway for 4 months this family hid him he is abussive to me and his 15 year old brother he has threaten to kill me or have something done to my car. I HAVE HIM IN COUNSELING. i over heard the girls parents tell her get pregnant andyou can get your green card. Its to the point i dont want him around please help me what can i do legally he wants to be ammancapated :confused::mad::(
 


CdwJava

Senior Member
my son is 16 going to be 17 in 2 months he leaves when he wants dosent tell me where he goes.
Then you report him to the police as a runaway.

he attemted suiced with my high blood pressure pills.
Did he receive mental health treatment? If yes, then what is happening with this? Is he still attending sessions?

he did this all because of a girl.
That's not the whole cause, it's just the visible catalyst. He needs ongoing therapy.

she is only 15 and illegal here but thats not the problem her family tells him he has to pay her rent. now the girl is pregnant my son ranaway for 4 months this family hid him he is abussive to me and his 15 year old brother he has threaten to kill me or have something done to my car.
Even more reasons to call the police! If he assaults you or your other child, call the cops. If he runs away, call the cops.

As for the other family, harboring a runaway minor can be a crime as can be making threats to harm you. Of course, so is unlawful intercourse with a minor. If the child turns out to be his, he can be facing a misdemeanor criminal offense.


I HAVE HIM IN COUNSELING.
Outstanding.

i over heard the girls parents tell her get pregnant andyou can get your green card. Its to the point i dont want him around please help me what can i do legally he wants to be ammancapated :confused::mad::(
He will NOT be emancipated with this history. Period. End of story. he can want anything he wants, but it ain't gonna happen. RESPONSIBLE kids with jobs and drive can get emancipated (and even those are rare), irresponsible, violent boys that have sex with younger girls do NOT get emancipated.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
He will NOT be emancipated with this history. Period. End of story. he can want anything he wants, but it ain't gonna happen. RESPONSIBLE kids with jobs and drive can get emancipated (and even those are rare), irresponsible, violent boys that have sex with younger girls do NOT get emancipated.
Agreed - Incarcerated, maybe. Emancipated, no.

I think, though, that this misses the point. You're right that Mom can probably get the kid returned to her home. But she doesn't know how to handle the kid and there's nothing that suggests that the problems are going to go away.

Never having dealt with this directly, I can't offer advice, but if someone can offer advice, she would probably appreciate it. What are her options? Military school? Juvenile detention? What can she do AFTER the kid is returned to her?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Agreed - Incarcerated, maybe. Emancipated, no.

I think, though, that this misses the point. You're right that Mom can probably get the kid returned to her home. But she doesn't know how to handle the kid and there's nothing that suggests that the problems are going to go away.

Never having dealt with this directly, I can't offer advice, but if someone can offer advice, she would probably appreciate it. What are her options? Military school? Juvenile detention? What can she do AFTER the kid is returned to her?
In my state the courts put two time runaways on home detention, with an ankle bracelet.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
Agreed - Incarcerated, maybe. Emancipated, no.

I think, though, that this misses the point. You're right that Mom can probably get the kid returned to her home. But she doesn't know how to handle the kid and there's nothing that suggests that the problems are going to go away.

Never having dealt with this directly, I can't offer advice, but if someone can offer advice, she would probably appreciate it. What are her options? Military school? Juvenile detention? What can she do AFTER the kid is returned to her?
The problem is that learning how to DEAL with this kid is probably not possible to do before he is 18. Mom first has to take back some of the control she has allowed him to wrest from her, and it may very well take the police to do it.

In theory, as a chronic runaway the child could get referred to Juvenile Probation and then brought before a judge who can address the situation. In practice, this is rare, however. But, since junior here is likely committing criminal offenses as well, the chances of him getting before a judge who will eventually put the force of the law behind mom's rules, that may have a deterrent effect on at least some of his activities.

If mom has the boy in counseling and he still behaves like this, no amount of info on teen parenting any of us could advise will help her. I have two teens of my own (and one in training) and have two additional teens living with me. I have also been a foster parent, and will soon begin a fascinating second job in August teaching troubled teens for the county (damn work furloughs means I have to make up lost income some how). A child this far lost is a difficult one to rein in, and in the year he has left before he is an adult and can get booted from the nest, about all mom can do is try to exert some control over him as best she can, and that will likely include the involvement of the justice system.
 

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