We do NOT know "they" decided this. Maybe her current husband was a more recent marriage, and he should not be held financially responsible for decisions she and a prior spouse (or prior partner) made together.Who gives a flying crap about your hubby. If is not relevant to this situation. Seriously. We all "get" your opinion on being self supportive. But many older women spent their youth raising the children PER THEIR (HUSBAND AND WIFE) mutual choice. OP should not spend the rest of her life in misery due to a choice that BOTH of the children parents made.