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CP traveling with child while NCP oposes

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microbes

Member
I think that taking your son is a very bad idea, and I think that if Mom DOES file for contempt, you risk pretty serious consequences. The courts are MORE likely to find you in contempt when interfering with a parent's very limited time than they are when the parent generally has MORE time.
So is the concern more on missing the scheduled visitation than it is the travel? Because the visitation is the one that was court ordered and nothing about traveling.

I have considered just leaving him with his mother but there are just so many issues. The mother is 40 minutes away from his pre-school and has no means of getting there. Leaving him with my mother and keeping the scheduled visitation seem problematic as well as my ex could simply say I left the child with my mother instead of her and not to mention that my mom works and may be difficult for her to do that as well.

I'm just at a loss here. I really wanna do the right thing but I also don't wanna lose my father without saying goodbye.
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
I plan to enrol him so that he continues his interactions with kids and continue to learn. The classes are in English. I thought I'd get him to a pre-school so that he continues his routine and not to transfer. Even at 2 weeks, I want to minimize the change in his routine as much as I could going to see my dying father.

She has made allegations so I guess that's a yes. But my life is here, my career is here. I just wanna see my father that may not make it through in another couple of months.

Yes I believe Singapore is a signatory.
Sorry, but the whole thing smells. You're taking the kid without Mom's permission, enrolling him in school overseas, and making Mom miss visitation.

I could picture you getting hammered by the judge. If you can't leave the child with Mom, then you should find another adult to watch him.
 

CJane

Senior Member
So is the concern more on missing the scheduled visitation than it is the travel? Because the visitation is the one that was court ordered and nothing about traveling.
No. The concern is that you are showing the court that you have no intention of following the order if it inconveniences you, and you're willing to take the child overseas for WEEKS, enroll him in school, etc - all over the objections of his mother, so that YOU can see your ill father.

That's not exactly "Keeping the best interests of the child in mind".

I have considered just leaving him with his mother but there are just so many issues. The mother is 40 minutes away from his pre-school and has no means of getting there.
This is an excuse, and a poor one. You're talking about taking the child out of the SAME SCHOOL for WEEKS while you're in ASIA. Yes, you're also talking about enrolling him in "school" there for a few weeks (which also makes no sense), but that does nothing to keep consistency. Nothing at all.

Leaving him with my mother and keeping the scheduled visitation seem problematic as well as my ex could simply say I left the child with my mother instead of her and not to mention that my mom works and may be difficult for her to do that as well.
You haven't mentioned a single reason Mom shouldn't just have the child with her for the several weeks you plan to be gone. Other than that you don't "want" to.
 

microbes

Member
Sorry, but the whole thing smells. You're taking the kid without Mom's permission, enrolling him in school overseas, and making Mom miss visitation.

I could picture you getting hammered by the judge. If you can't leave the child with Mom, then you should find another adult to watch him.
The whole school thing is for continuity, if its better that he doesnt goto school then he doesnt have to. That's all that was.

I plan to start the every other weekend weekend visits starting in September so only one scheduled visit will be missed.

If I do leave him with his mom, can that be used against me at all? Can that somehow backfire on me? I really just don't trust this woman. I'm actually afraid that if she has that much time with him that she may run off with him.

I really wanna do the right thing.
 

CJane

Senior Member
I plan to start the every other weekend weekend visits starting in September so only one scheduled visit will be missed.
No. Mom will be missing her weekly visits with the child while you're gone for "3-4 weeks".

If I do leave him with his mom, can that be used against me at all?
Why don't you worry less about YOU and what YOU want and worry a little MORE about what's best for your child?

The plane ride alone for a child that young is problematic. Adjusting to the time difference, the culture difference, the food differences, etc is HUGE. And you're idea of maintaining continuity is enrolling him in preschool there? Really?

Can that somehow backfire on me? I really just don't trust this woman. I'm actually afraid that if she has that much time with him that she may run off with him.
If she was determined to run off with him, why wouldn't she have already done it?

I really wanna do the right thing.
You really wanna do what YOU wanna do.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Singapore travel advice

I can see a lot of good reasons for mom to keep you traveling to Singapore with her child. Has the child been vaccinated for Scarlet fever? You are a citizen of Singapore? If so, have you performed your public service yet?
 

aldaron

Member
The Right To Travel

As the Supreme Court notes in Saenz v Roe, 98-97 (1999), the Constitution does not contain the word "travel" in any context, let alone an explicit right to travel (except for members of Congress, who are guaranteed the right to travel to and from Congress). The presumed right to travel, however, is firmly established in U.S. law and precedent. In U.S. v Guest, 383 U.S. 745 (1966), the Court noted, "It is a right that has been firmly established and repeatedly recognized." In fact, in Shapiro v Thompson, 394 U.S. 618 (1969), Justice Stewart noted in a concurring opinion that "it is a right broadly assertable against private interference as well as governmental action. Like the right of association, ... it is a virtually unconditional personal right, guaranteed by the Constitution to us all." It is interesting to note that the Articles of Confederation had an explicit right to travel; it is now thought that the right is so fundamental that the Framers may have thought it unnecessary to include it in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights.
 

CSO286

Senior Member
The Right To Travel

As the Supreme Court notes in Saenz v Roe, 98-97 (1999), the Constitution does not contain the word "travel" in any context, let alone an explicit right to travel (except for members of Congress, who are guaranteed the right to travel to and from Congress). The presumed right to travel, however, is firmly established in U.S. law and precedent. In U.S. v Guest, 383 U.S. 745 (1966), the Court noted, "It is a right that has been firmly established and repeatedly recognized." In fact, in Shapiro v Thompson, 394 U.S. 618 (1969), Justice Stewart noted in a concurring opinion that "it is a right broadly assertable against private interference as well as governmental action. Like the right of association, ... it is a virtually unconditional personal right, guaranteed by the Constitution to us all." It is interesting to note that the Articles of Confederation had an explicit right to travel; it is now thought that the right is so fundamental that the Framers may have thought it unnecessary to include it in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights.

Yes, aldaron......OP may have the right to travel wherever he so pleases. However, he may not be able to take said child off scampering throughout the globe without the consent of said child's other parent.

This is where the debate lies.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I really just don't trust this woman. I'm actually afraid that if she has that much time with him that she may run off with him.
And she likely feels the same way about *you*. So, you need to try and understand that and figure out how to work with her, for the benefit of your child.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
The whole school thing is for continuity, if its better that he doesnt goto school then he doesnt have to. That's all that was.
Give me a break. I really doubt that the kid's life will be ruined if s/he misses 3 weeks of preschool. Leave the kid with Mom. If she can't get him to preschool, there's no real harm done.

I plan to start the every other weekend weekend visits starting in September so only one scheduled visit will be missed.
Who cares what YOU plan? The court order says every week.

If I do leave him with his mom, can that be used against me at all? Can that somehow backfire on me? I really just don't trust this woman. I'm actually afraid that if she has that much time with him that she may run off with him.
You have a written custody order. If you leave the child with Mom for a couple of weeks and then pick the child up when you return, it won't affect anything.

The only exception would be if you could prove that leaving the child with Mom was dangerous - but I haven't seen any sign of that.

I really wanna do the right thing.
Then leave the kid with Mom. Or find a way to get Mom's approval.
 

microbes

Member
Thank you for all the inputs. I honestly did not want to hear a lot of the posts and thats just me being honest but they do make sense and I appreciate it. I posted the question not to find people to agree with me but to see angles I may have overlooked and that it did. Thank you.
 

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