"Conscience Protection" and Divorce Settlement

[amd64a]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

In my never ending nightmare of a divorce, I thought I had reached a settlement with the Ex, however, providing her with my full financial disclosure - which includes all relevant information from the new job that allowed me to keep my house - she has now raised "issues" with WHERE the settlement monies are coming from.

I landed a job as a Pharmaceutical Representative, at first for one small product, and wasn't sure I could make my set targets. I applied for a transfer to another Brand, and was given a probationary period with a hormonal contraceptive Brand. For the last 4 months I exceeded my sales target by 122%, and earned a pay-out in our bonus and revenue sharing/stock option program. I opted for a "quick" but less total payout which combined with what I had previously saved, would have allowed me to buy her out fully from the house.

The Ex has become sort of a "born-again" Christian, and upon examining my financials, is now refusing to accept the settlement because 80% of the buyout money would be coming from me selling hormonal contraception. She is demanding that I find "alternative" means to buy her out, or she will force a sale of the house. She argues that she should not be forced to accept money that violates her religious beliefs.

She has retained a "Pro-Life" organization attorney to co-represent her in her "conscience protection" claim pro-bono. She claims that her religious beliefs preclude her from taking the money, BUT that she still is entitled to equitable distribution, so it is up to me to find a suitable means to do so.

She has succeeded in getting a hearing before the Judge based on the claim that I intentionally switched jobs in order to give "get back" at her by giving her money from selling something she finds "repulsive". The last email she sent me said "find another way to buy me out or I will have the judge put the house up for sale".

Is it at ALL possible that any of this has ANY legal basis? Or could this be a way to just make my life miserable and drain me of more money for lawyers?

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

In my never ending nightmare of a divorce, I thought I had reached a settlement with the Ex, however, providing her with my full financial disclosure - which includes all relevant information from the new job that allowed me to keep my house - she has now raised "issues" with WHERE the settlement monies are coming from.

I landed a job as a Pharmaceutical Representative, at first for one small product, and wasn't sure I could make my set targets. I applied for a transfer to another Brand, and was given a probationary period with a hormonal contraceptive Brand. For the last 4 months I exceeded my sales target by 122%, and earned a pay-out in our bonus and revenue sharing/stock option program. I opted for a "quick" but less total payout which combined with what I had previously saved, would have allowed me to buy her out fully from the house.

The Ex has become sort of a "born-again" Christian, and upon examining my financials, is now refusing to accept the settlement because 80% of the buyout money would be coming from me selling hormonal contraception. She is demanding that I find "alternative" means to buy her out, or she will force a sale of the house. She argues that she should not be forced to accept money that violates her religious beliefs.

She has retained a "Pro-Life" organization attorney to co-represent her in her "conscience protection" claim pro-bono. She claims that her religious beliefs preclude her from taking the money, BUT that she still is entitled to equitable distribution, so it is up to me to find a suitable means to do so.

She has succeeded in getting a hearing before the Judge based on the claim that I intentionally switched jobs in order to give "get back" at her by giving her money from selling something she finds "repulsive". The last email she sent me said "find another way to buy me out or I will have the judge put the house up for sale".

She thinks she has that much control over the judge?? Typical!

Is it at ALL possible that any of this has ANY legal basis? Or could this be a way to just make my life miserable and drain me of more money for lawyers?

As long as she gets her money, she shouldn't care where it comes from. I would be surprised if a judge goes along with this, but you never know.

If I were the judge and she brought ligitation to sell the house for this stupid reason, she would be paying your attorney fees.

 

[CSO286]

And had you had children and you had been ordered to pay child support, she would have no control over the source of the support monies.

I really think she should have two choices:

1. Either take the settlement--who cares about he source--and call it a day.

2. If she finds the source of the money so objectionable, then she should simply refuse it and walk away. ...Giving up her interest in the house as well.


(I mean really--if she forces the sale of the home an the buyers happen to work in the porn industry, is she going to refuse to sell to them on that basis?)


OOHH!!!

If 80% of the buyout is coming from the so-called objectionable funds, how can she "prove" that you are paying her with funds you received directly from this objectionable employer? (I'm thinking here of Misto and his "swimming pool analogy as it related to child support.)

Perhaps you could argue that you've been opting to not spend the non-objectionable income (and holding onto it) all along in anticipation of just this argument......

 

[mistoffolees]

And had you had children and you had been ordered to pay child support, she would have no control over the source of the support monies.

I really think she should have two choices:

1. Either take the settlement--who cares about he source--and call it a day.

2. If she finds the source of the money so objectionable, then she should simply refuse it and walk away. ...Giving up her interest in the house as well.


(I mean really--if she forces the sale of the home an the buyers happen to work in the porn industry, is she going to refuse to sell to them on that basis?)


OOHH!!!

If 80% of the buyout is coming from the so-called objectionable funds, how can she "prove" that you are paying her with funds you received directly from this objectionable employer? (I'm thinking here of Misto and his "swimming pool analogy as it related to child support.)

Perhaps you could argue that you've been opting to not spend the non-objectionable income (and holding onto it) all along in anticipation of just this argument......

I agree - I can't see how the judge would go along.

If the money were from illegal sources, MAYBE the judge would agree, but "I don't like what you do for a living" shouldn't have any impact.

 

[amd64a]

Thank you for your opinions, but after finding about more of who this "pro-life" attorney works with, I have come to believe this is not so much about "conscience" as it is about money and opportunity.

I read a somewhat similar case about a woman in Florida whose husband filed for divorce, and was about to get a FAIR settlement, which I guess meant she wasn't going to take him to the cleaners. This woman then retained a Christian-based lawyer who filed a motion to block the divorce based on 14th Amendment "Equal Protection" claims. The heart of the matter was that she argued divorces are always granted, no matter how strongly one party objects. Therefore, it violated her right to "Equal Protection" under the Laws since the outcome of the Court proceedings were already decided. It was the perfect test case for Americans For Divorce Reform. If you read deep in their website, you will see they are asking for more "test cases" like this. You'd think that this was just made up, but the anti-divorce crowd tend to tout this case as "just the beginning".

The claim was ultimately dismissed, but not after her husband had to hire another lawyer experienced in Federal Court and Constitutional issues.

Fast forward to now, where based on the value of my home which has plummeted, I would owe her just roughly 9-10,000K in equity. She probably has spent more than half that in legal fees, including subrogation for health costs of her ex-boyfriend breaking into the house and being shredded by my dog.

Taking this whole "conscience" angle now gives her a free lawyer to negotiate a better settlement, drain me of more legal fees, and probably make me switch jobs - which she would love since I am doing well in my new field.

And to top it off, this lawyer of hers now gets access to my pay breakdown - which is tied to and delineated by my sales numbers and locations - and gets to see what Drs. or offices are prescribing objectionable pharmaceuticals to them and just how much they are doing it.

Is there any way to force her to disclose if this lawyer's Organization it reimbursing her for previous legal fees or other "expenses"? We as reps for this Brand go through a fairly strong vetting process to make sure we aren't from these right-wing organizations. I'd hate to know that I might be forced to switch positions again because I became a liability.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your opinions, but after finding about more of who this "pro-life" attorney works with, I have come to believe this is not so much about "conscience" as it is about money and opportunity.

I read a somewhat similar case about a woman in Florida whose husband filed for divorce, and was about to get a FAIR settlement, which I guess meant she wasn't going to take him to the cleaners. This woman then retained a Christian-based lawyer who filed a motion to block the divorce based on 14th Amendment "Equal Protection" claims. The heart of the matter was that she argued divorces are always granted, no matter how strongly one party objects. Therefore, it violated her right to "Equal Protection" under the Laws since the outcome of the Court proceedings were already decided. It was the perfect test case for Americans For Divorce Reform. If you read deep in their website, you will see they are asking for more "test cases" like this. You'd think that this was just made up, but the anti-divorce crowd tend to tout this case as "just the beginning".

The claim was ultimately dismissed, but not after her husband had to hire another lawyer experienced in Federal Court and Constitutional issues.

Fast forward to now, where based on the value of my home which has plummeted, I would owe her just roughly 9-10,000K in equity. She probably has spent more than half that in legal fees, including subrogation for health costs of her ex-boyfriend breaking into the house and being shredded by my dog.

Taking this whole "conscience" angle now gives her a free lawyer to negotiate a better settlement, drain me of more legal fees, and probably make me switch jobs - which she would love since I am doing well in my new field.

And to top it off, this lawyer of hers now gets access to my pay breakdown - which is tied to and delineated by my sales numbers and locations - and gets to see what Drs. or offices are prescribing objectionable pharmaceuticals to them and just how much they are doing it.

Is there any way to force her to disclose if this lawyer's Organization it reimbursing her for previous legal fees or other "expenses"? We as reps for this Brand go through a fairly strong vetting process to make sure we aren't from these right-wing organizations. I'd hate to know that I might be forced to switch positions again because I became a liability.

You could have objected to having to provide her attorney that kind of detail about your pay breakdown, but unfortunately, its too late now if he already has it.

Why don't you take out a loan to pay her off, and then use your "objectional" money to pay back the loan?

 

[mistoffolees]

You could have objected to having to provide her attorney that kind of detail about your pay breakdown, but unfortunately, its too late now if he already has it.

Why don't you take out a loan to pay her off, and then use your "objectional" money to pay back the loan?

Why should OP have to pay interest because ex is an idiot?

 

[LdiJ]

Why should OP have to pay interest because ex is an idiot?

He shouldn't have to, but in the end, it wouldn't be much interest (because he could immediately pay off the loan) and it might cost a lot less than fighting it out.

 

[Bali Hai]

He shouldn't have to, but in the end, it wouldn't be much interest (because he could immediately pay off the loan) and it might cost a lot less than fighting it out.

That kind of thinking just encourages the idiots to multiply and wastes everyone's time including the loan department at the bank.

Besides, couldn't the idiot then demand that the loan taken out to pay her be repayed with "non-objectionable" money?

The idiot should be forced by the court to take the money or leave it, and, be forced to pay OP's legal fees.

 

[CSO286]

He shouldn't have to, but in the end, it wouldn't be much interest (because he could immediately pay off the loan) and it might cost a lot less than fighting it out.

If he does do this--he should make sure he won't incur and early payoff penalties......

 

[Ohiogal]

Fast forward to now, where based on the value of my home which has plummeted, I would owe her just roughly 9-10,000K in equity. She probably has spent more than half that in legal fees, including subrogation for health costs of her ex-boyfriend breaking into the house and being shredded by my dog.

How ex is this boyfriend? When did she date this boyfriend? If while you were married, then you might point out her adulterous sinful ways to the court because the sinning whore is a bit of a hypocrite.

 

[amd64a]

How ex is this boyfriend? When did she date this boyfriend? If while you were married, then you might point out her adulterous sinful ways to the court because the sinning whore is a bit of a hypocrite.

I would guess they stopped dating somewhere in late March. After he kicked in my door and was bitten by my dog (in one of my other threads) he was discharged from the hospital, and returned to MD. He then developed a blood clot in the bitten arm, and was admitted to a MD hospital for surgery. There was enough trouble, lost active duty ect ect that I guess broke them up.

There is STILL fallout from that episode, since the MD Doctors were kind enough to notify Animal Control in MD - which has a "1-strike" kill the dog rule - and hence there is a MD Order to surrender the dog for euthanasia.

The Ex fell into a deep, deep depression from bills, failing to get another job in NV, and a host of other things. She then "re-discovered" Christianity and became a fire and brimstone Evangelical for the past several months.

You could have objected to having to provide her attorney that kind of detail about your pay breakdown, but unfortunately, its too late now if he already has it.

Mt guess is that I will now be targeted for "realignment" during the next "restructuring", but it's worth it is this can all just end.

Part of the agreement was that her and her lawyer got to look over ALL my financials to ensure I wasn't hiding assets, holding back on sales visits, or under performing on purpose to lower my income. I was so excited at the prospect of this nightmare coming to an end, I gave my lawyer a full printout and breakdown of my call schedule, script statistics, and travel details.

I broke down and called corporate legal and let them know. They agreed that full disclosure of my financials to a DIVORCE lawyer in the context of a divorce settlement is on the up and up, but they will "take the necessary steps" to prevent this other lawyer from getting them.

His exact words were "We know who they are, and you aren't the first, and you won't be the last, so just stay quiet and go find another marriage to screw up."