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amp009

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hello all,

I have recently gotten married 2 months ago. We had a traditional marriage according to our culture and we have not yet registered marriage with the state. I am having very hard time to keep the marriage going. My question is because we never registered the marriage, however she has pictures of the traditional marriage and that's it. We don't share bank accounts, no name in apartment lease, no kids.

I am going to work really hard on this marriage but if i want out. Will California recognize the marriage and i will have to go through the whole divorce process or i can just tell her its not going to work out?

Thank you all for your help.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hello all,

I have recently gotten married 2 months ago. We had a traditional marriage according to our culture and we have not yet registered marriage with the state. I am having very hard time to keep the marriage going. My question is because we never registered the marriage, however she has pictures of the traditional marriage and that's it. We don't share bank accounts, no name in apartment lease, no kids.

I am going to work really hard on this marriage but if i want out. Will California recognize the marriage and i will have to go through the whole divorce process or i can just tell her its not going to work out?

Thank you all for your help.
Did you get a marriage license before you got married? Were you married by a licensed member of the clergy? Normally the clergy member sends in the marriage certificate to the state if you got a license ahead of time.
 

amp009

Junior Member
Did you get a marriage license before you got married? Were you married by a licensed member of the clergy? Normally the clergy member sends in the marriage certificate to the state if you got a license ahead of time.
No, we did not get a marriage license. I was married at a temple as it was a Indian Wedding. I did not sign any papers. I am sure the girl side did not do anything either because they are sort of forcing me to register the marriage now.
 

xylene

Senior Member
Suggestion

You are in a potentially very advantageous position.

You need to see a lawyer, right a way to cover all your bases.

DO NOT sign anything.

Also, please make sure that you think about this as an American. This matter is between you and your sorta-wife.

The families (yours and hers) have no legal say.

No one can 'force' you to do anything.
 

amp009

Junior Member
You are in a potentially very advantageous position.

You need to see a lawyer, right a way to cover all your bases.

DO NOT sign anything.

Also, please make sure that you think about this as an American. This matter is between you and your sorta-wife.

The families (yours and hers) have no legal say.

No one can 'force' you to do anything.
Thank you very much for your advice. I have been really stressed trying to work things out but not happening. I will definitely consult a lawyer next week. Can you explain when you say that "Also, please make sure that you think about this as an American."

Thank you much
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Thank you very much for your advice. I have been really stressed trying to work things out but not happening. I will definitely consult a lawyer next week. Can you explain when you say that "Also, please make sure that you think about this as an American."

Thank you much
As an American, the laws matter. Religious institutions don't control things. In some cultures, if the church says you must do something, that carries as much weight as a law. In the U.S., the church has absolutely zero authority to enforce its will as law.

Your marriage may not have any validity at all as far as the law is concerned - that is, you may still be legally single. If you approach things from the perspective of the culture where you got married, you might consider the church wedding to be every bit as valid as a legal one. In this country, that's not so.
 

xylene

Senior Member
Can you explain when you say that "Also, please make sure that you think about this as an American."
mistoffolees hit what I was getting at quite well.

Also, as I stated, the in-laws are not a party to your marriage or divorce under US laws, and you do not and should not consider their position.

That can only lead to you feeling bullied about something legally irrelevant.
 

dmcc10880

Member
Without a marriage license being applied for, ergo a certificate of marriage wasn't signed and provided to the state by the person officiating, you're legally not married in the state of California. You're single. Do as you wish to move on with your life.

The marriage may be recognized culturally, but not with the state.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Without a marriage license being applied for, ergo a certificate of marriage wasn't signed and provided to the state by the person officiating, you're legally not married in the state of California. You're single. Do as you wish to move on with your life.

The marriage may be recognized culturally, but not with the state.
While that is correct, I would suggest that OP first check the court records to ensure that no license was granted before completely walking away. It is not unheard of for people to forge signatures.
 

dmcc10880

Member
While that is correct, I would suggest that OP first check the court records to ensure that no license was granted before completely walking away. It is not unheard of for people to forge signatures.
Ok... I agree with that. He should be able to even do that online or at the most a quick call to the county clerk's office. Especially telling though that he's getting pressure to register the marriage now. And, how can one register a marriage if they've never applied for a marriage license.

One things for sure, the OP needs to act quickly on his desires.
 

amp009

Junior Member
Ok... I agree with that. He should be able to even do that online or at the most a quick call to the county clerk's office. Especially telling though that he's getting pressure to register the marriage now. And, how can one register a marriage if they've never applied for a marriage license.

One things for sure, the OP needs to act quickly on his desires.
I did go ahead check the public records there is no marriage license issued under my name.
 

amp009

Junior Member
While that is correct, I would suggest that OP first check the court records to ensure that no license was granted before completely walking away. It is not unheard of for people to forge signatures.
Is this possible? Doesn't one need to present proper identification before forging signature on the form with registrar.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Is this possible? Doesn't one need to present proper identification before forging signature on the form with registrar.
Oh, it happens. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does.

But since OP checked and there is no marriage license, it isn't a problem.
 

amp009

Junior Member
Also, another thing is i am sorta scared of living with her. Can she call the cops out of the blue and build a case against me? It will take some time to get her out of the apartment because families will get involved not legally but traditionally and will talk to each other. What can i do to protect myself from cops if she decides to take this route? thank you very much for helping me out with great advice all of you
 

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