Splitting Expenses in Addition to Child Support

[nythng4mygrl]

Thank you everyone. I am not asking him to pay for everything. I just thought it would be reasonable for him to split certain expenses with me. I have actually hired a new attorney, and she said that I am certainly entitled to travel expenses, which is not for me, but for the coach and referees. I pay for my own room, meals, etc... The league submits a form to us, and we submit payment prior to the tournament. As for tournaments inside the state we also have to pay fees, that I am not seeking from him. IMHO, I feel that he should pay for half of recreational fees where our daughter is concerned. She has been doing this since she was 4 and she lives for this sport. Why wouldn't he want to support that? As for supplies, I don't think this to be un-reasonable. What is wrong with him buying a back pack, and me paying for supplies and lunch box, or vice versa? What about the medical bills that he is ordered to split with me that he has never paid? The gas that I pay for to transport her to him and pick her up on his visits (whenever he sees her) when he is an hour and a half away? He pays for NOTHING and cant even send me a check for child support. He is not having difficulty, his wife stopped payment on the check quite a few times causing my account to overdraw. I took him back to court a few months ago and the judge ordered her not communicate with me or interfere with the parenting of my child when it comes to her dad and I. He tried to modify support to decrease, and when he provided his income, and I provided mine, the judge denied him. I do not believe I am being un-reasonable. Can you tell me what is reasonable?

Thanks again!

 

[CSO286]

Thank you everyone. I am not asking him to pay for everything. I just thought it would be reasonable for him to split certain expenses with me. I have actually hired a new attorney, and she said that I am certainly entitled to travel expenses, which is not for me, but for the coach and referees. I pay for my own room, meals, etc... The league submits a form to us, and we submit payment prior to the tournament. As for tournaments inside the state we also have to pay fees, that I am not seeking from him. IMHO, I feel that he should pay for half of recreational fees where our daughter is concerned. She has been doing this since she was 4 and she lives for this sport. Why wouldn't he want to support that? As for supplies, I don't think this to be un-reasonable. What is wrong with him buying a back pack, and me paying for supplies and lunch box, or vice versa? What about the medical bills that he is ordered to split with me that he has never paid? The gas that I pay for to transport her to him and pick her up on his visits (whenever he sees her) when he is an hour and a half away? He pays for NOTHING and cant even send me a check for child support. He is not having difficulty, his wife stopped payment on the check quite a few times causing my account to overdraw. I took him back to court a few months ago and the judge ordered her not communicate with me or interfere with the parenting of my child when it comes to her dad and I. He tried to modify support to decrease, and when he provided his income, and I provided mine, the judge denied him. I do not believe I am being un-reasonable. Can you tell me what is reasonable?

Thanks again!

You do know that all those expenses are what he pays child support for, right?

Helping to pay for school fees, extracurriculars, supplies, housing, food, etc.....

If you can't cover all of those things with Dad paying support as ordered according to guidelines, then you might want to re-evaluate your spending habits, even if it means that daughter can't do every all of the activities she wants/loves.

a parent's job is "to provide everything the child needs and some of what a child wants".

When the budget gets tighter, then it simply becomes a matter of shaving a few more items off that "want to" list.

 

[mistoffolees]

I do not believe I am being un-reasonable. Can you tell me what is reasonable?

Yes. What is reasonable is for you to follow the court order and for CP to take responsibility for the expenses you're citing. Expecting NCP to pay the state guideline support PLUS MORE every time you think of something else you'd like to buy is totally unreasonable.

Now, if NCP wants to voluntarily pay for extras, that's his choice (and lots of NCPs do). But you're asking a favor, so you'd be well-served by asking nicely rather than demanding - especially since the court just ruled that child support was going to remain unchanged.

 

[tuffbrk]

So child support was just recently reviewed, ruled to remain as-is and now you are going back to court in an attempt to have some of the cost of extracurricular activities paid for? I don't understand why this wasn't addressed during the CS modification stint. Or is your comment about the CS request for downward modification from another time period?

There are always recreational sports teams, as opposed to travel/competition teams. Unless Dad fully participated in the decision to sign her up for travel/competition and also attends these events, I can't imagine him being ordered to cover the costs of her travel and room costs. However, your attorney knows your area best.

 

[nmmbills]

No

You cant ask for 50% of out of pocket expenses... thats what the child support is for. Medical and dental can generally be split 50/50, but as for sports, recreation, etc....no.

 

[Ohiogal]

How old is this child?

 

[CSO286]

You cant ask for 50% of out of pocket expenses... thats what the child support is for. Medical and dental can generally be split 50/50, but as for sports, recreation, etc....no.

Your whole first post is Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.


*sigh*

 

[stealth2]

Your whole first post is Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.


*sigh*

Not to mention that nmmbills deleted a thread.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Update

I just wanted to update you on my recent court appearance. First of all I will answer questions. The child is 11, and I do not try to dig in his pockets every moment I can. He took me for modification to decrease child support almost a year ago and was denied because he lied about his employment and did not disclose his 2nd job, nor did he take his court ordered drug screens all this year. He has not been paying every month since then. He has seen our child 4 times this year, has spoken to her 3 times since his last visit in May, and I have received 3 checks in last year for child support. I figured if he wasnt going to pay, the least he could do is help me with medical (court ordered), and school supplies/uniforms as well as half tournament fees for travel games.

I went for custody/child support modification and was actually awarded sole custody, and he is to split any school expenses with me 50%, as well as uniform expenses for sport and 50% tournament/coach/ref fee, for ALL tournaments relative to her sport. I am to pay up front 100% and provide him with the invoice from the sporting facility. He has 30 days to pay. I was not asking him to pay for food, hotel, and fun during these tournaments. He also has to pay me $2,500 in medical arrearage to cover our child's deductibles from 2 surgeries she had last year and he was found in contempt on 3 other accounts.

Friday was a good day, and I thank you for the advice and criticism.

 

[mistoffolees]

I just wanted to update you on my recent court appearance. First of all I will answer questions. The child is 11, and I do not try to dig in his pockets every moment I can. He took me for modification to decrease child support almost a year ago and was denied because he lied about his employment and did not disclose his 2nd job, nor did he take his court ordered drug screens all this year. He has not been paying every month since then. He has seen our child 4 times this year, has spoken to her 3 times since his last visit in May, and I have received 3 checks in last year for child support. I figured if he wasnt going to pay, the least he could do is help me with medical (court ordered), and school supplies/uniforms as well as half tournament fees for travel games.

I went for custody/child support modification and was actually awarded sole custody, and he is to split any school expenses with me 50%, as well as uniform expenses for sport and 50% tournament/coach/ref fee, for ALL tournaments relative to her sport. I am to pay up front 100% and provide him with the invoice from the sporting facility. He has 30 days to pay. I was not asking him to pay for food, hotel, and fun during these tournaments. He also has to pay me $2,500 in medical arrearage to cover our child's deductibles from 2 surgeries she had last year and he was found in contempt on 3 other accounts.

Friday was a good day, and I thank you for the advice and criticism.

Congratulations.

Just as an aside - for lurkers. OP was very lucky. The court doesn't typically force NCP to pay for extracurriculars like that, nor school expenses. I speculate that ex alienated the judge so badly by lying and not paying court ordered support that the judge simply gave OP everything she asked for.

Two lessons here:

1. Do not alienate a judge. Even if nothing happens to you today when you lie to a judge, it will come back to bite you.

2. Pay your child support. If you're paying what you're owed and can make a reasonable case for a modification, you might get it. OTOH, if you're not paying it, why should the judge listen to you when you request a modification (or your ex does).