Shared parenting/Braces

[Charles111]

I live in Ohio and have a shared parenting agreement. My ex called me and told me my two daughters needed braces. I disagreed with her saying that it would only be cosmetic. She took them to Ortho and sent me a letter with explaination for braces. When I looked it up I found the meaning to only be that they had crocked teeth. I then got a second letter from her saying that I needed to set up a payment plan and that they had appointments on a set date. I sent a certified letter to her and Ortho stating that I did not give my consent and requested all their files so that I could obtain a second opinion and also requesting the appt. be cancelled and that I would be getting insurance that would help pay for them in approx 6-8 months and requesting proof to any reason that it couldn't be postponed. I never got any response from anyone. I called Ortho on date of appointment to find that it hadn't been cancelled and was told that she had given wrong insurance info and that she had refused to cancel appt. and she told the Ortho that her parents would be paying for the braces. The Ortho admitted that it could be postponed, but he recommended that it be done sooner rather than later. Now 7 months later I get court papers that she is trying to hold me in contempt for not paying!! Can she do this with us having a shared parenting agreement where we are supposed to agree and discuss such things??? Can I successfully fight this in court?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I don't think you will win overall on the issue. Where you may prevail, in part, is if you get the dental coverage and argue you should not be responsible for 1/2 of the coverage amount. For example, if the insurance pays $1000 toward braces p/child, you should argue to be given a $500 credit p/child off your portion.

 

[ecmst12]

What exactly, word for word, does your court order state regarding legal custody, medical decisions, and medical expenses?

 

[mistoffolees]

I don't think you will win overall on the issue. Where you may prevail, in part, is if you get the dental coverage and argue you should not be responsible for 1/2 of the coverage amount. For example, if the insurance pays $1000 toward braces p/child, you should argue to be given a $500 credit p/child off your portion.

Let's wait until OP answers ecmst's questions before jumping to conclusions.

In addition, OP, I see that you say that YOU think it's only cosmetic, but unless you're a licensed orthodontist and have examined the child, you are not in a position to say that. Does the orthodontist say that it's medically necessary?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I agree Misto. OP appeared to imply they were to evenly share expenses. I replied based on that assumption.

 

[Charles111]

In our separation agreement it states "The parties shall discuss with each other and cooperate in all parenting decisions on matters affecting children, including, but not limited to the childrens health care, schooling, religion, medical needs, as well as other such matters of importance or significance.
I realize I am not Ortho and when I said "I think it is only cosmetic" was before they even had their appointment. I never disagreed with them "EVER" having the braces done only requested records in order to get a second opinion (which I have a right to records that I never recieved) and also just requested that it be held off for the time being till my better insurance would have kicked it. I was ignored and it was done behind my back, therefore I couldn't even get the second opinion. My daughters came for a visit and my current wife had purchased a new laptop (with her money since she works) and my ex obviously just took that to mean that I could afford braces if I could afford new things. I am completely unable to financially pay my 70+ % and made her aware of that as well, but she wants things done when she wants them done. Ortho even admitted there was no "medical" reason it couldn't be postponed awaiting the better insurance. I feel that if I am responsible for the greater percentage I should have atleast gotten some say in the matter. They are MY children too.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

If you are responsible for 70%, amend my answer to be 70% of the amount insurance would have covered, not 50%.

 

[mistoffolees]

In our separation agreement it states "The parties shall discuss with each other and cooperate in all parenting decisions on matters affecting children, including, but not limited to the childrens health care, schooling, religion, medical needs, as well as other such matters of importance or significance.
I realize I am not Ortho and when I said "I think it is only cosmetic" was before they even had their appointment. I never disagreed with them "EVER" having the braces done only requested records in order to get a second opinion (which I have a right to records that I never recieved) and also just requested that it be held off for the time being till my better insurance would have kicked it. I was ignored and it was done behind my back, therefore I couldn't even get the second opinion. My daughters came for a visit and my current wife had purchased a new laptop (with her money since she works) and my ex obviously just took that to mean that I could afford braces if I could afford new things. I am completely unable to financially pay my 70+ % and made her aware of that as well, but she wants things done when she wants them done. Ortho even admitted there was no "medical" reason it couldn't be postponed awaiting the better insurance. I feel that if I am responsible for the greater percentage I should have atleast gotten some say in the matter. They are MY children too.

You haven't answered ecmst's question.

WHAT DOES THE ORDER SAY ABOUT PAYMENT OF MEDICAL EXPENSES? Word for word (no names, please). I don't want your interpretation, we need to know exactly what it says.

 

[mistoffolees]

If you are responsible for 70%, amend my answer to be 70% of the amount insurance would have covered, not 50%.

It really would be better if you wait until we know what the order says.

 

[Charles111]

Under insurance and medical expenses it does state:
Any remaining uninsured and/or un-reimbursed medical, dental, optical and prescription drug expenses including co-payments and/or deductibles shall be paid by father and mother in amounts equal to the percentage of child support.
I realize that is in the papers, but if that is stated in the papers and is etched in stone, then why is it that the paragraph where the decisions are to be discussed between father and mother are just ignored or the mother always ends up with final say so. In my papers it also has a paragraph give me access to those records that I never did recieve from the Ortho, we have shared parenting. If she has the right to make an appointment without my consent then why do I not have a the right to cancel it without her consent???
How can a court honestly see that my requests were unreasonable and that her refusal to hold off was just to be malicious??

 

[Charles111]

There is nothing noting anything medical or dental that is truly "specific" to this situation, but I was under the impression that with a shared parenting agreement that things just such as these should be discussed and agreed upon and in the event we couldn't agree then we would let a mediator or court decide on our behalf. I never in a million years would have expected that I could just be blindsided like this and the courts would even contemplate allowing it.

 

[Proserpina]

Don't be bullied into something!
What is the agreement you made with dental care or was it everything together?

reason I asked is when I gave her custody I agreed to pay for regular dental care, ( cleanings and fillings ) but any work had to be done with my say so also. well any thing else she had to pay for. 1 month after she got him she went and had his wisdom teeth pulled out and sent me a email that I needed to pay the bill. When I went there I ask the lady for a itemized bill of all work that was done. She told me I sorry you are not the Cus. Parent so I can give out the information to you. So I asked well if that is so who gave you permission to charge my insurance company then. She said sir the Bill is 1,851.00 dollars! I said that is nice but I can’t pay for something I don’t know what I am getting. Sorry. Well over the next 4 months I got a bill every 2 weeks and each time I did I called and ask for the itemized bill and I got told the same thing over and over. So the next month I sent a reg letter to them with a copy of my custody papers. Nothing changed. Well next month I got served court papers. I went in with no lawyer and explained my side of the case with all my the letter and phone call records. I walked a free man and her lawyer got her butt spanked by the judge. The dentist office never did get paid and I was not held responsible. Why the work done was done by a ORAL surgeon and was not reg dental care……

HEY.

Don't give advice unless you KNOW that your information is accurate for THE OTHER POSTER.

Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

In our separation agreement it states "The parties shall discuss with each other and cooperate in all parenting decisions on matters affecting children, including, but not limited to the childrens health care, schooling, religion, medical needs, as well as other such matters of importance or significance.
I realize I am not Ortho and when I said "I think it is only cosmetic" was before they even had their appointment. I never disagreed with them "EVER" having the braces done only requested records in order to get a second opinion (which I have a right to records that I never recieved) and also just requested that it be held off for the time being till my better insurance would have kicked it. I was ignored and it was done behind my back, therefore I couldn't even get the second opinion. My daughters came for a visit and my current wife had purchased a new laptop (with her money since she works) and my ex obviously just took that to mean that I could afford braces if I could afford new things. I am completely unable to financially pay my 70+ % and made her aware of that as well, but she wants things done when she wants them done. Ortho even admitted there was no "medical" reason it couldn't be postponed awaiting the better insurance. I feel that if I am responsible for the greater percentage I should have atleast gotten some say in the matter. They are MY children too.

Dad, the orders say that you are to discuss and cooperate. The orders do no say that you have veto power, and that is what you tried to do, you tried to bully the ortho into cancelling the appointment and into not treating your children.

You could have rushed to court yourself and tried to get mom stopped from putting on braces until you were ready. I am not saying that you would have won for certain, but you could have tried. You also could have filed for mediation with mom if the two of you couldn't sit down and discuss this at length without a mediator.

You also could have set up an installment plan with the ortho for your share of the expense.

I agree with the previous poster that its likely that your best outcome is that you won't be responsible for the amount of your share that would have been covered by insurance, if it had been postponed.

 

[mistoffolees]

Dad, the orders say that you are to discuss and cooperate. The orders do no say that you have veto power, and that is what you tried to do, you tried to bully the ortho into cancelling the appointment and into not treating your children.

You could have rushed to court yourself and tried to get mom stopped from putting on braces until you were ready. I am not saying that you would have won for certain, but you could have tried. You also could have filed for mediation with mom if the two of you couldn't sit down and discuss this at length without a mediator.

You also could have set up an installment plan with the ortho for your share of the expense.

I agree with the previous poster that its likely that your best outcome is that you won't be responsible for the amount of your share that would have been covered by insurance, if it had been postponed.

Even that is a long shot. OP would have to prove that there would have been no harm to delaying. Furthermore, OP would have to prove that insurance would have paid. Anyone who has ever dealt with medical insurance knows how difficult this can be at the best of times. In this case where the other doctor hadn't even examined the child, it would be even harder.

In this case, the order is clear enough:
"Any remaining uninsured and/or un-reimbursed medical, dental, optical and prescription drug expenses including co-payments and/or deductibles shall be paid by father and mother in amounts equal to the percentage of child support. "

Any battle over this is unlikely to work in Dads favor. Even if it does, the savings is unlikely to be sufficient to cover the legal expenses and the damage to the co-parenting relationship.

 

[Charles111]

I'm sorry but I don't agree that one parent should ever just have the right to go off and have any non-emergency medical or dental procedure done based on the recommendations of one single professional. I think it quite reasonable for me to have "requested" that the appointment be cancelled and to provide me with sufficient x-rays and other documentation in order to obtain and second opinion. In my personal opinion, any court that would side with the parent who didn't allow for a second opinion and also wouldn't wait the additional time to help both parties pay less with better insurance coverage, that is a court that is unjustifiably favoring one parent over the other. I didn't "veto" or "bully" anyone to do anything. I made a responsible and reasonable request. I would just love to understand how a court can order you to pay something you have complete inability to pay.

I certainly do hope that the few who said the courts might lean in the direction of my getting a credit towards what the insurance might have covered are correct.