airmanjoe - you locked your thread

[Proserpina]

This is your post:

Mother wants child to have less time with father

COLORADO

I am a "legal stranger" to this situation. The mother and father are divorced. The male child just turned 3. I am best friends (non-romantic) with the mother, and am Godfather to the child. I live in California, the family in question lives in Colorado. I am asking in this forum because the mother came to me in distress and I don't know what advice to offer her.

She should be here herself. This is not your legal matter.

You should also step back, take a deep breath, have a buttered crumpet and read the "sticky" thread at the top of this forum. Edit your post accordingly.

The mother and I are in agreement that the less time the child sees his father the better the child will be. I know this seems "cold" but it is accurate. The father is an evil cruel man, but not in a physical way, he is a master of mental manipulation. We don't think there is any behavior the father does that the courts would see as bad.

Then Mom has nothing. Your opinion doesn't count for anything at all.

Examples of why we think the child will be better off with less time at his fathers:
-EVERY time the child comes back from his fathers he is hungry, and usually lighter then he was when he was surrendered to his father. (He stays at his fathers 3 nights a week).

She weighs the child every time he returns from Dad's? Why is that?

-The mother and I are raising the child to know that God loved him. The father repeatedly tells the child that "God is dumb." The child asks the mother why "daddy says God is dumb."

You shouldn't be doing any raising WHATSOEVER.

MOM should realize that Dad is entitled to teach HIS child that God is a blue ringed octopus if that's what Dad wants to do.

Mom doesn't get to dictate this.

-The father tells the child that I am "mean." I visit Colorado 2 weeks a year and when I am there I relish the child with love and affection and kindness. I even taught him to swim this year. The father has no basis to turn the child against me. (and he is thus far, unsuccessful).

I'm hoping you're actually trolling.

Because if you can't see how you're overstepping to the Nth degree..well, I don't know what to say.

-The mother thinks the father is trying to turn the child against her. This week for example, the child told his mother that she is "stealing all of daddy's money, you are you are!" (Let me assure you, the child support the father pays is an insulting joke, less then 10% of his pay).

None of your business.

The mother knows she would have to get a lawyer to fight this fight. But is there ANY possibility she could win. (A "win" would be less visitation for the father). She is even looking for employment in other states, so if she finds it then the visitation battle would be more extreme. For now we just want to wrest an innocent child from his brainwashing and manipulative father. Any suggestions?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I wonder what makes Mom think the court would allow her to relocate the child out of State? When Dad has him 3 overnights per week?

Outside of that, I STRONGLY suggest you step BACK from this legal matter.

You're about to help Mom lose custody.

I'm fairly certain that's not what SHE wants.

 

[Abcalkins]

People close their threads because they get sick of people like you harassing them. Many of these people have REAL LIFE situations going on and want help. It is beyond upsetting to see how some of you get off on others miseries. Shame on you. Why are you sic an advocate of parents who actually are alienating and damaging a child. Someone posted a quote about how children aren't coloring books to be filled in on my last thread, and you know what, they aren't. So why the hell would you argue that any of this is acceptable? A parent who is negating good things that are being taught to a child, regardless of who does the teaching doesn't really sound like someone who deserves to have any rights. Not only do parents raise a child, but so does the community, and this is a messed up situation.

So what is this guy doing to help mom lose custody? NOTHING

Why is this fellow on here? because he is concerned, because he is human, because he loves this child. Do you understand what that means?

Airmanjoe- you guys need to do what you can to have supporting evidence. Journals help, but they are not enough. Record phone calls, and get the child in counseling, because a psychiatrist can ascertain the truth of the situation pretty easily by talking to the child. Then, it is unfortunately a waiting game, Which is where my hub and I are at, and it is no fun.

 

[Proserpina]

People close their threads because they get sick of people like you harassing them.

Actually when a poster closes their thread without any responses, it's usually because they haven't figured out the controls.

It's a learning process.

Many of these people have REAL LIFE situations going on and want help.

This is not airmanjoe's situation. Period.

It is beyond upsetting to see how some of you get off on others miseries. Shame on you. Why are you sic an advocate of parents who actually are alienating and damaging a child.

Did you actually read airmanjoe's thread?

Or did you simply see ME start a thread and respond because of the author?

Someone posted a quote about how children aren't coloring books to be filled in on my last thread, and you know what, they aren't. So why the hell would you argue that any of this is acceptable? A parent who is negating good things that are being taught to a child, regardless of who does the teaching doesn't really sound like someone who deserves to have any rights. Not only do parents raise a child, but so does the community, and this is a messed up situation.

Which "good" things are you talking about? Why is this legal stranger inflicting HIS beliefs and ideals on someone else's child?

So what is this guy doing to help mom lose custody? NOTHING.

That's too funny. This guy isn't married to Mom. He's not even DATING Mom. He's a "friend". And do you know what overstepping third parties can end up doing?

Causing the CP to LOSE CUSTODY.

Post less. Learn more. Truly.

Why is this fellow on here? because he is concerned, because he is human, because he loves this child. Do you understand what that means?

No, it's because he's overstepping his boundaries.

And yes - we remember how many threads YOU deleted. We have long memories, my friend.

Airmanjoe- you guys need to do what you can to have supporting evidence. Journals help, but they are not enough. Record phone calls, and get the child in counseling, because a psychiatrist can ascertain the truth of the situation pretty easily by talking to the child. Then, it is unfortunately a waiting game, Which is where my hub and I are at, and it is no fun.

You're a liar, and you're giving preposterous advice that can land BOTH OP and Mom in serious legal trouble.

I STRONGLY suggest you quit. Now.

Before your posting privileges are revoked entirely.

 

[airmanjoe]

HMMM, unfortunately the moderator must have locked my thread, because I did not. I guess some of the replies were getting "out of hand."

Too bad.

 

[Proserpina]

HMMM, unfortunately the moderator must have locked my thread, because I did not. I guess some of the replies were getting "out of hand."

Too bad.

Nobody responded to your thread.

It was created and immediately locked - and that's (perhaps unfortunately) very easy to do in these forums.

Hence THIS thread.

 

[Abcalkins]

I do not desire to have any posting privileges, I desire to have my hijacked thread removed from this forum. I'm not certain you read what this guy wrote, it actually sounds like you were just jumping on him for your enjoyment. This fella is concerned because he cares for this child, so he can post any damn thing he wants relating to his situation. And where the heck do you get the idea he is overstepping his boundaries? Thankyou for calling me a liar, but still doesn't change the fact that you know nothing. Consider for a moment that my story is true, do you not realize the implications skewing my words and reposting what I deleted when I realized my err could do? That is why I am on here now. Because I love my boy, whether or not I birthed him, I love him, and I am not going to do anything to jeopardize his life, and I will do everything in my power to get it through to you that assuming someones story is lie because it just sounds too incredible to you and doing what you can to make put them in their place is in all actuality tampering with a Childs life. Call me all the names you want, all I care about is my children.

 

[Proserpina]

I do not desire to have any posting privileges, I desire to have my hijacked thread removed from this forum. I'm not certain you read what this guy wrote, it actually sounds like you were just jumping on him for your enjoyment. This fella is concerned because he cares for this child, so he can post any damn thing he wants relating to his situation. And where the heck do you get the idea he is overstepping his boundaries? Thankyou for calling me a liar, but still doesn't change the fact that you know nothing. Consider for a moment that my story is true, do you not realize the implications skewing my words and reposting what I deleted when I realized my err could do? That is why I am on here now. Because I love my boy, whether or not I birthed him, I love him, and I am not going to do anything to jeopardize his life, and I will do everything in my power to get it through to you that assuming someones story is lie because it just sounds too incredible to you and doing what you can to make put them in their place is in all actuality tampering with a Childs life. Call me all the names you want, all I care about is my children.

THIS is a prime example of how a legal stranger can cause the CP to lose custody.

 

[Just Blue]

People close their threads because they get sick of people like you harassing them. Many of these people have REAL LIFE situations going on and want help. It is beyond upsetting to see how some of you get off on others miseries. Shame on you. Why are you sic an advocate of parents who actually are alienating and damaging a child. Someone posted a quote about how children aren't coloring books to be filled in on my last thread, and you know what, they aren't. So why the hell would you argue that any of this is acceptable? A parent who is negating good things that are being taught to a child, regardless of who does the teaching doesn't really sound like someone who deserves to have any rights. Not only do parents raise a child, but so does the community, and this is a messed up situation.

So what is this guy doing to help mom lose custody? NOTHING.

Why is this fellow on here? because he is concerned, because he is human, because he loves this child. Do you understand what that means?

Airmanjoe- you guys need to do what you can to have supporting evidence. Journals help, but they are not enough. Record phone calls, and get the child in counseling, because a psychiatrist can ascertain the truth of the situation pretty easily by talking to the child. Then, it is unfortunately a waiting game, Which is where my hub and I are at, and it is no fun.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

[airmanjoe]

Nobody responded to your thread.

It was created and immediately locked - and that's (perhaps unfortunately) very easy to do in these forums.

Hence THIS thread.

Understood! Thank you Proserpina.

What some have called "overstepping" the mother has called "being a good godfather" And I will continue to do so.

I am not and will not partake in legal struggles (IF any are to happen) with the father, I know that is not my role. My role is, however, to support my friend with advice, and to fill the role she has asked me to take with her child, being his godfather.

While you may not consider it my business, the mother does. I am here for her in a support role, not a legal role; I know this and will of course act accordingly. She started weighing her son when he started coming home hungry. I don't know of she physically places him on a scale and counts ounces, of if she just knows his weight from holding him. Do you really think that the courts wont care that the father is manipulating the child to think that "mommy is stealing all my money?" One parent cant be untruthful about the other to turn the child against them can they (well legally that is)? The mother and I take very seriously the commandment "Honor thy mother and thy father" so no natter how much dislike we have over the father, neither of us speak remotely ill of him in front of the child. We even try to psych the child up when he is about to be surrendered to his father (they exchange custody in a neutral public location). (I know I say "we" here, bear in mind that I only visit Colorado 2 weeks a year or so, so the "we" is really the mother, with a tiny input from me a few times a year. My only other interactions with the child are bi monthly (or so) video chats online, which he usually has the attention span for about 3 minutes)

 

[InfantCustody]

Does the child have some sort of weight problem?

Unless he is medically diagnosed as underweight and comes home weighing even less, it doesn't matter if he weighs a few ounces less when he gets home.

Maybe dad is more strict about food than mom. So?

Maybe dad fixes veggies with every meal? Great!

Maybe dad gets the kid a million times more exercise in his 3 days so he loses some weight and is extra hungry. His heart will thank dad for it.


I am a nutrition freak, with good cause as obesity runs on both sides of everyones family. My ex and his family eat whatever doesn't eat them. I can guarantee you when my son is older, he will go to dads house lighter after 4 days with me. Its a parenting difference. When he was an infant, he lost weight with dad and that was a big deal because he had severe issues. Minus issues, it's just not a big deal.

Dad can teach HIS son to be Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, or any other religion or non-religion in his parenting time. Mom can teach him the opposite and he can decide what to believe when he grows up. It's called religious freedom and it is one of the many rights we enjoy as Americans. Get over it. It isn't even your fight.
You have not given any examples of abuse or cruelty.

Comments about child support? Not appropriate but not emotional abuse. He can be a crudy parent.

Back off and learn your place. As overbearing as you are as a God parent, I cant imagine if you were a step parent. Oh my...

And by the way..."surrendered to his father?" That just sounds wrong, he isn't being surrendered!!!

 

[Just Blue]

Does the child have some sort of weight problem?

Unless he is medically diagnosed as underweight and comes home weighing even less, it doesn't matter if he weighs a few ounces less when he gets home.

Maybe dad is more strict about food than mom. So?

Maybe dad fixes veggies with every meal? Great!

Maybe dad gets the kid a million times more exercise in his 3 days so he loses some weight and is extra hungry. His heart will thank dad for it.


I am a nutrition freak, with good cause as obesity runs on both sides of everyones family. My ex and his family eat whatever doesn't eat them. I can guarantee you when my son is older, he will go to dads house lighter after 4 days with me. Its a parenting difference. When he was an infant, he lost weight with dad and that was a big deal because he had severe issues. Minus issues, it's just not a big deal.

Dad can teach HIS son to be Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, or any other religion or non-religion in his parenting time. Mom can teach him the opposite and he can decide what to believe when he grows up. It's called religious freedom and it is one of the many rights we enjoy as Americans. Get over it. It isn't even your fight.
You have not given any examples of abuse or cruelty.

Comments about child support? Not appropriate but not emotional abuse. He can be a crudy parent.

Back off and learn your place. As overbearing as you are as a God parent, I cant imagine if you were a step parent. Oh my...

And by the way..."surrendered to his father?" That just sounds wrong, he isn't being surrendered!!!

Excellent advice. I also have an issue with the "surrendering" comment. Sounds like what happens when a defense attorney turns over his client to the police.

 

[stealth2]

I do not desire to have any posting privileges, I desire to have my hijacked thread removed from this forum. I'm not certain you read what this guy wrote, it actually sounds like you were just jumping on him for your enjoyment. This fella is concerned because he cares for this child, so he can post any damn thing he wants relating to his situation. And where the heck do you get the idea he is overstepping his boundaries? Thankyou for calling me a liar, but still doesn't change the fact that you know nothing. Consider for a moment that my story is true, do you not realize the implications skewing my words and reposting what I deleted when I realized my err could do? That is why I am on here now. Because I love my boy, whether or not I birthed him, I love him, and I am not going to do anything to jeopardize his life, and I will do everything in my power to get it through to you that assuming someones story is lie because it just sounds too incredible to you and doing what you can to make put them in their place is in all actuality tampering with a Childs life. Call me all the names you want, all I care about is my children.

Aaah, yes - the overstepping g/f.

 

[mistoffolees]

What some have called "overstepping" the mother has called "being a good godfather" And I will continue to do so.

There's a huge difference between the two.

A good godfather can do all sorts of fun things for the child. Can help support the child. Can educate the child. Can love the child.

HOWEVER, a good godfather does NOT participate in the decisions on how to raise the child (unless BOTH parents ask). A good godfather does NOT make decisions that affect the child's future. A good godfather does NOT do things that interfere with either parent's ability to parent the child. A good godfather encourages the child to always do what the parents want him to do. And so on.

It's really not hard to draw the line - unless you're an overstepper to begin with.