Paying for Sports

[kaizen]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

My son is entering high school. I'm happy to say he's interested in joining many different sports teams.

Is it typical to have it addressed in the custody papers who is responsible for these fees? Ours don't mention it. Is it reasonable to ask a court (since we're going back for a review anyhow) to have it split between parents, or is it presumed that child support is ncp's part of splitting it?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

It depends on what you agree too, usually. If one parent really wants kiddo in sports and the other does not, it might be worth paying more up front, than paying lawyers to revise the order.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

My son is entering high school. I'm happy to say he's interested in joining many different sports teams.

Is it typical to have it addressed in the custody papers who is responsible for these fees? Ours don't mention it. Is it reasonable to ask a court (since we're going back for a review anyhow) to have it split between parents, or is it presumed that child support is ncp's part of splitting it?

If it is not specifically addressed in the court order, that responsibility goes to the parent that wants the child in the activity. For example, you are the CP and want the child to play footbal ~ it is your bill.

If you want anything different it will have to be very specific in your court order.

 

[kaizen]

We both want son in football. We both encouraged him to join and he has.

We both always go to his games. (I paid for it last year, but it's getting more costly in high school.)

 

[Antigone*]

We both want son in football. We both encouraged him to join and he has.

We both always go to his games. (I paid for it last year, but it's getting more costly in high school.)

If you are the custodial parent and you are paying for this then what is the problem? If you have asked the non-custodial parent to fork over more funds for these extra activities and they tell you to pound sand, then you are the one holding the bill. You cannot bind the NCP to extra funds if they are not inclined to do so.

 

[Silverplum]

I see the "We both always go to his games..." in there.

Are you implying that Dad oughta pay half if he goes to the games?

 

[kaizen]

Nope.

I was just giving the info.

Thanks!

 

[gam]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

My son is entering high school. I'm happy to say he's interested in joining many different sports teams.

Is it typical to have it addressed in the custody papers who is responsible for these fees? Ours don't mention it. Is it reasonable to ask a court (since we're going back for a review anyhow) to have it split between parents, or is it presumed that child support is ncp's part of splitting it?

OP said they are already going for a review of child support. So yes there is no reason you can't ask to have activities split.

It's common in Mi for orders to include that activities will be split and each parent will take the child to those activities on their time, as long as it is a resonable amount of activities and reasonable costs. Reasonable is 1 sport per season and/or 1 school activity per semester. They tend to see the activities as an extra cost that is not factored into CS.

Many county's FOC handbooks have it in them. They are just guidelines not orders, however the courts except you to follow things in the guidelines. Every county is different, handbooks can also be different and the Judges themselves can be different. So I can't say for sure what a Judge would do, but it is worth asking for in MI.

 

[nextwife]

While he is interested in "so many sports" it may be wise to have him pair down his list and make some choices, and not just give him carte blanc to sign up for anything and everything he has some interest. High School is also demanding, homework comes first, and having too many activities can get in the way of good scholastic performance. I have several nieces and nephews who were star performers in HS, and they limited their sports choices to only a couple.

 

[kaizen]

gam, sincere thanks for your reply.

nextwife, parenting advice on this board too? Got it, thanks

 

[gam]

gam, sincere thanks for your reply.

nextwife, parenting advice on this board too? Got it, thanks

Your welcome. But like I said remember all counties in Mi are a bit different, so you may not get this. Since your already going for a review it will not hurt asking.

This is public board your posting on, you will get both legal and parenting advice. It's the way it is, so you read it, take it in and think about it. But you will get it even if you don't want it, so wise to not snip at ones posting.

Nextwife is correct, you need to keep this paired down and he needs to make choices. It's in my other reply, it must be reasonable. Reasonable in the courts in Mi, I have heard this in, is 1 sport per season and/or 1 school activity per semester. The and/or is because I have seen some Judges say just 1 per season or semester and others allow 1 per season plus one per semester. The orders are usually written very specific if this is heard in court, and state 1 per season and/or semester, depending on how that Judge is with the semester/season thing.

 

[kaizen]

I hear you. It's a shame that legal processes would have to even comment on this, but I don't doubt that they do.

Makes me wonder what happens to common sense sometimes, you know?

Kids need to be kids, too.

It's all about balance.

 

[tuffbrk]

You can go the legal route which may or may not be successful. Rather than legal wrangling, the approach I took was to simply ask my ex his thoughts.

It turned out that my ex was concerned that he would not have a say in the decision making. We agreed that I would pay the activities fee and take him for the sports physical and Dad would buy the "outfit." Sometime it is soccer spikes, sometimes basketball sneakers, sometime wrestling gear. But at least he then feels that his "permission" has to be obtained prior to sign up. If Dad doesn't agree with signing up, then it's between me and our son to determine if the sport is both appropriate as well as affordable.

If your son is in high school you know how costly the footwear becomes. This may be another option for you to consider.

 

[gam]

I hear you. It's a shame that legal processes would have to even comment on this, but I don't doubt that they do.

Makes me wonder what happens to common sense sometimes, you know?

Kids need to be kids, too.

It's all about balance.

I agree, but it is a common question on here and also very common to see in the Mi courts I have been in.

I just sat through a case 2 weeks ago, it was not just on splitting the costs. It was also on the kids doing any activities at all that fell a couple times a year on the NCP's time. The Ref recommended the children be able to do reasonable activities and that NCP pay the share of those activities based on the percentage of the CS calculations. Don't yet know the outcome, as each party has 21 days to object to the Ref's recommendation. If the NCP does object, the Judge is not gonna change this recommendation, as it is standard for this Judge to allow the kids to do reasonable activities and the cost be split according to the percentages of the CS calculations.

The NCP got a huge, angry lecture from the Ref, for being unreasonable. CP had tried everything, willing to pay all costs associated with activities, willing to drop off and pick up child for activities on NCP's time, willing to change NCP's time to something they would agree to, willing to keep the time the same and give make up time for the time of the activity. NCP said NO to everything. The Ref was not happy with the NCP for not being a big person and working this out with the CP for the children.