Called the police to report assault against me and ended up being arrested

[boshuda2004]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I had an argument with my wife earlier this week, She asked me to take her to a hotel nearby.
I decided to take her to the closest hotel 2 miles away from our home.
I was the one driving, she was in the passenger seat and we had our two small kids in the back seats.
We kept arguing in the car and she started hitting me in the face and right arm while I was driving, I almost got into an accident. I immediately stopped on the side of the road and asked her to get out of the car.
She was screaming and yelling at me and didn't want to get out of the car. Instead she continued hitting me.
I pushed her with my right arm to keep her away from me and she bit me.
I started pusing her and hitting her as well in self-defense and asked her to stop hitting me.

I continued driving as fast as possible to get to the hotel asap. I was pushing her against her window to keep her away from me while I was trying to focus on the road. She was screaming and opened her window. I stupidly closed her window because it was embarassing.
I finally got to the hotel and stopped in the back of the parking lot. I didn't stop in front of the registration lobby because she was out of control and didn't want to get other people involved.
I stopped the car and ordered her to get out. She refused to do so. I got out of the car, opened the passenger door and starting to pull her out of the car but she moved to the driver side and tried to lock me out.
I went back to the driver side door and pulled her by force out of the car by dragging her by the arms.
She took our baby with her, ran away screaming and I left with the car and my daughter.
While I was driving home, I realized that I was hurt pretty bad, I was bleeding from inside my cheeks and my nose.
I decided to call the police to make a full report.

I met the police in the street. They took my report. Apparently someone near the hotel also called the police which was sent to my wife.
After hearing both sides of the story, the police officer who was taking my report arrested me. I ended up spending the night in jail. I bailed myself out after 5 hours spent in a cell.
My wife had been taken to the hospital with several bruises on her arms and shoulders (from me pushing her and pulling her out of the car) and a cut in the lips (from me closing the car window on her).

I was charged with the following California Penal Codes:

- 273.5 PC - Spousal abuse
- 236 PC - False Imprisonment
- 136.1 - Dissuading a Witness

My wife was released after a couple of hours in the hospital and she spent the night at a friend's house.
She was worried about me so she called me and came back to the house in the afternoon.

I told her about the charge codes and asked her how it was possible that I was charged with "False Imprisonment" and "Dissuading a Witness".
It doesn't make any sense unless she made false statements to the police.
That night, all I wanted was to get her out of the car and I asked her to get out at several occasions. I also dragger her out of the car so where does the "False Imprisonmen" charge come from?
The "Dissuading a Witness" charge is weird too. She said it's because I stopped the car in the back of the hotel so that no one would see. It's true I took her purposely far from the entrance of the hotel but not because I didn't want people to see.

I take responsibility for the "Spousal abuse". I told the police in my report that I hit her and pushed her but it was in self-defense. I also told the police that I closed the window on her.
She should have been charged with "Spousal abuse" as well since she's the one who started being physical, and with a "child endangerment" charge. But I got 3 charges against me and she got none.

My wife speaks Spanish and her English is pretty basic. She believes that the police didn't understand or mis-interpreted some of the things she shared.
She wants to drop the charges against me but at this point, I doubt that it will make any difference.

As soon as I got out jail, I hired a "domestic violence" lawyer.
I am scheduled for court next week. The lawyer recommended that I immediately enroll in a marriage counseling program. My wife and I just signed up for marriage counseling with our Church minister and I have also scheduled a first session with a family therapist for tomorrow.
My lawyer is pretty confident that he can get the DA to drop one or even two of the charges.
He's also going work so that the "Spousal abuse" felony will be treated as a misdemeanor.

I am really scared of doing jail time based on the evidence. My wife had huge bruises on her arms and shoulders and right after the facts, she was bleeding from her lips. The police took plenty of pictures of her.
I was bleeding too, had scratches and bruises on my right shoulder and my back, had a cut on my arms from when she bit me but the police officer who arrested me didn't take a single picture of my body!

I have already lost my faith in the whole justice system after being booked when I am the one to call to make a report.
This seems so unfair to me. I understand that when a man hits a woman, it doesn't have the same effect than when a woman hits a man.
But again, I was trying to defend myself.

Based on the experience of the readers here, what is likely going to happen to me?
This my very first offense ever. I consider myself a good citizen. I am a responsible father, the financial support for my entire family. I am a highly educated software engineer, a homeowner, small-business owner, and a volunteer for a number of non-profit organizations.

Is there anything I or my wife can do to improve my chances of being convincted or being charged for a felony?

Thanks!

 

[Hot Topic]

Hard to believe that you didn't know your wife was that volatile. The smart thing to do was to call a cab and have her taken to the nearest hotel. By driving her there, you invited the argument to continue. It's hard to believe that anyone with any sense would have their kids in the car under such circumstances. And why didn't you call the police when you stopped the car and asked her to get out? Did you honestly expect her to allow herself to be left by the road, especially considering the situation?

You and your wife deserved what happened to you. Your kids didn't.

 

[Silverplum]

I'm not going to go into what-all you did wrong, but you have no need to be surprised that you were charged.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I had an argument with my wife earlier this week, She asked me to take her to a hotel nearby.
I decided to take her to the closest hotel 2 miles away from our home.
I was the one driving, she was in the passenger seat and we had our two small kids in the back seats.
We kept arguing in the car and she started hitting me in the face and right arm while I was driving, I almost got into an accident. I immediately stopped on the side of the road and asked her to get out of the car.
She was screaming and yelling at me and didn't want to get out of the car. Instead she continued hitting me.
I pushed her with my right arm to keep her away from me and she bit me.
I started pusing her and hitting her as well in self-defense and asked her to stop hitting me.

I continued driving as fast as possible to get to the hotel asap. I was pushing her against her window to keep her away from me while I was trying to focus on the road. She was screaming and opened her window. I stupidly closed her window because it was embarassing.
I finally got to the hotel and stopped in the back of the parking lot. I didn't stop in front of the registration lobby because she was out of control and didn't want to get other people involved.
I stopped the car and ordered her to get out. She refused to do so. I got out of the car, opened the passenger door and starting to pull her out of the car but she moved to the driver side and tried to lock me out.
I went back to the driver side door and pulled her by force out of the car by dragging her by the arms.
She took our baby with her, ran away screaming and I left with the car and my daughter.
While I was driving home, I realized that I was hurt pretty bad, I was bleeding from inside my cheeks and my nose.
I decided to call the police to make a full report.

I met the police in the street. They took my report. Apparently someone near the hotel also called the police which was sent to my wife.
After hearing both sides of the story, the police officer who was taking my report arrested me. I ended up spending the night in jail. I bailed myself out after 5 hours spent in a cell.
My wife had been taken to the hospital with several bruises on her arms and shoulders (from me pushing her and pulling her out of the car) and a cut in the lips (from me closing the car window on her).

I was charged with the following California Penal Codes:

- 273.5 PC - Spousal abuse
- 236 PC - False Imprisonment
- 136.1 - Dissuading a Witness

My wife was released after a couple of hours in the hospital and she spent the night at a friend's house.
She was worried about me so she called me and came back to the house in the afternoon.

I told her about the charge codes and asked her how it was possible that I was charged with "False Imprisonment" and "Dissuading a Witness".
It doesn't make any sense unless she made false statements to the police.
That night, all I wanted was to get her out of the car and I asked her to get out at several occasions. I also dragger her out of the car so where does the "False Imprisonmen" charge come from?
The "Dissuading a Witness" charge is weird too. She said it's because I stopped the car in the back of the hotel so that no one would see. It's true I took her purposely far from the entrance of the hotel but not because I didn't want people to see.

I take responsibility for the "Spousal abuse". I told the police in my report that I hit her and pushed her but it was in self-defense. I also told the police that I closed the window on her.
She should have been charged with "Spousal abuse" as well since she's the one who started being physical, and with a "child endangerment" charge. But I got 3 charges against me and she got none.

My wife speaks Spanish and her English is pretty basic. She believes that the police didn't understand or mis-interpreted some of the things she shared.
She wants to drop the charges against me but at this point, I doubt that it will make any difference.

As soon as I got out jail, I hired a "domestic violence" lawyer.
I am scheduled for court next week. The lawyer recommended that I immediately enroll in a marriage counseling program. My wife and I just signed up for marriage counseling with our Church minister and I have also scheduled a first session with a family therapist for tomorrow.
My lawyer is pretty confident that he can get the DA to drop one or even two of the charges.
He's also going work so that the "Spousal abuse" felony will be treated as a misdemeanor.

I am really scared of doing jail time based on the evidence. My wife had huge bruises on her arms and shoulders and right after the facts, she was bleeding from her lips. The police took plenty of pictures of her.
I was bleeding too, had scratches and bruises on my right shoulder and my back, had a cut on my arms from when she bit me but the police officer who arrested me didn't take a single picture of my body!

I have already lost my faith in the whole justice system after being booked when I am the one to call to make a report.
This seems so unfair to me. I understand that when a man hits a woman, it doesn't have the same effect than when a woman hits a man.
But again, I was trying to defend myself.

Based on the experience of the readers here, what is likely going to happen to me?
This my very first offense ever. I consider myself a good citizen. I am a responsible father, the financial support for my entire family. I am a highly educated software engineer, a homeowner, small-business owner, and a volunteer for a number of non-profit organizations.

Is there anything I or my wife can do to improve my chances of being convincted or being charged for a felony?

Thanks!

 

[boshuda2004]

Hard to believe that you didn't know your wife was that volatile.

I knew, based on experience, that she could get physical. I just didn't expect her to start attacking me while I was driving with our kids in the car.

The smart thing to do was to call a cab and have her taken to the nearest hotel.

She could have called a cab when I first asked her to get out of the car. Or simply walk since we were only 1/2 mile away. Initially I didn't want to give her a ride because the kids were sleeping in their room. As you mentioned, I was foolish to accept taking her there.

 

[CdwJava]

You are very lucky that no emergency protective order was sought against you, either.

It might also be that the children gave statements or made comments to the responding officers that led them to conclude that you were the more aggressive of the two involved parties. Or, as is often the case, the party with the greatest injuries goes to the hospital while the other goes to jail.

Yes, consult with the attorney. Yes, attend counseling. If you do not do something, CPS can get involved and might decide to move to seize the children if things do not change.

It is very likely that this can be resolved as a misdemeanor provided you attend counseling that the court approves of an there are no new instances of violence or abuse. You may need to evaluate this relationship further.

 

[Mars4Dude]

Every Man a Batterer and Every Woman a Victim

Does one have to wait until one has a bullet in their head before one can defend oneself against a spouse? How did our society get into this insane and disastrous mess of domestic violence laws where every man is considered a violent batterer of women, and every woman a victim?

 

[mistoffolees]

Does one have to wait until one has a bullet in their head before one can defend oneself against a spouse? How did our society get into this insane and disastrous mess of domestic violence laws where every man is considered a violent batterer of women, and every woman a victim?

No. Everyone has the right to use reasonable force to defend themselves.

The police apparently decided that you used an unreasonable amount of force. Since none of us was there, we can't second guess that.

Get an attorney and defend yourself in court.

 

[st-kitts]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

She asked me to take her to a hotel nearby.

This is where I begin to have questions...

I immediately stopped on the side of the road and asked her to get out of the car.She was screaming and yelling at me and didn't want to get out of the car.

I stopped the car and ordered her to get out. She refused to do so. I got out of the car, opened the passenger door and starting to pull her out of the car but she moved to the driver side and tried to lock me out.


That night, all I wanted was to get her out of the car and I asked her to get out at several occasions. I also dragger her out of the car so where does the "False Imprisonmen" charge come from?
Thanks!

The question that runs through my mind is ---- did she want to leave the house? Or did you DEMAND she leave the house. Why did you feel it necessary to drive her? Why couldn't she drive herself or take a cab. When she was hitting you and you wanted her to get out out, why not YOU get out and call the police. Why all the forcing her to do what you want?

And in California, I feel very confident that her being a native Spanish speaker is not going to result in any communication barrier between her and the court system.

I truly suggest you listen to your attorney. The other thing you can do to help your self is to end the relationship. If your wife is that volatile she is unlikely to stop. If she is REACTING to your behavior, you have given no indication that this experience has enlightened you to the point that you take responsibility for your actions enough to lead you to stop. Either way, the situation isn't promising. Whether you are truly the victim or whether you are the abuser continuing the relationship will only end in trouble for you and your wife no matter how much you may love one another.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I had an argument with my wife earlier this week, She asked me to take her to a hotel nearby.
I decided to take her to the closest hotel 2 miles away from our home.
I was the one driving, she was in the passenger seat and we had our two small kids in the back seats.
We kept arguing in the car and she started hitting me in the face and right arm while I was driving, I almost got into an accident. I immediately stopped on the side of the road and asked her to get out of the car.
She was screaming and yelling at me and didn't want to get out of the car. Instead she continued hitting me.
I pushed her with my right arm to keep her away from me and she bit me.
I started pusing her and hitting her as well in self-defense and asked her to stop hitting me.

I continued driving as fast as possible to get to the hotel asap. I was pushing her against her window to keep her away from me while I was trying to focus on the road. She was screaming and opened her window. I stupidly closed her window because it was embarassing.
I finally got to the hotel and stopped in the back of the parking lot. I didn't stop in front of the registration lobby because she was out of control and didn't want to get other people involved.
I stopped the car and ordered her to get out. She refused to do so. I got out of the car, opened the passenger door and starting to pull her out of the car but she moved to the driver side and tried to lock me out.
I went back to the driver side door and pulled her by force out of the car by dragging her by the arms.
She took our baby with her, ran away screaming and I left with the car and my daughter.
While I was driving home, I realized that I was hurt pretty bad, I was bleeding from inside my cheeks and my nose.
I decided to call the police to make a full report.

I met the police in the street. They took my report. Apparently someone near the hotel also called the police which was sent to my wife.
After hearing both sides of the story, the police officer who was taking my report arrested me. I ended up spending the night in jail. I bailed myself out after 5 hours spent in a cell.
My wife had been taken to the hospital with several bruises on her arms and shoulders (from me pushing her and pulling her out of the car) and a cut in the lips (from me closing the car window on her).

I was charged with the following California Penal Codes:

- 273.5 PC - Spousal abuse
- 236 PC - False Imprisonment
- 136.1 - Dissuading a Witness

My wife was released after a couple of hours in the hospital and she spent the night at a friend's house.
She was worried about me so she called me and came back to the house in the afternoon.

I told her about the charge codes and asked her how it was possible that I was charged with "False Imprisonment" and "Dissuading a Witness".
It doesn't make any sense unless she made false statements to the police.
That night, all I wanted was to get her out of the car and I asked her to get out at several occasions. I also dragger her out of the car so where does the "False Imprisonmen" charge come from?
The "Dissuading a Witness" charge is weird too. She said it's because I stopped the car in the back of the hotel so that no one would see. It's true I took her purposely far from the entrance of the hotel but not because I didn't want people to see.

I take responsibility for the "Spousal abuse". I told the police in my report that I hit her and pushed her but it was in self-defense. I also told the police that I closed the window on her.
She should have been charged with "Spousal abuse" as well since she's the one who started being physical, and with a "child endangerment" charge. But I got 3 charges against me and she got none.

My wife speaks Spanish and her English is pretty basic. She believes that the police didn't understand or mis-interpreted some of the things she shared.
She wants to drop the charges against me but at this point, I doubt that it will make any difference.

As soon as I got out jail, I hired a "domestic violence" lawyer.
I am scheduled for court next week. The lawyer recommended that I immediately enroll in a marriage counseling program. My wife and I just signed up for marriage counseling with our Church minister and I have also scheduled a first session with a family therapist for tomorrow.
My lawyer is pretty confident that he can get the DA to drop one or even two of the charges.
He's also going work so that the "Spousal abuse" felony will be treated as a misdemeanor.

I am really scared of doing jail time based on the evidence. My wife had huge bruises on her arms and shoulders and right after the facts, she was bleeding from her lips. The police took plenty of pictures of her.
I was bleeding too, had scratches and bruises on my right shoulder and my back, had a cut on my arms from when she bit me but the police officer who arrested me didn't take a single picture of my body!

I have already lost my faith in the whole justice system after being booked when I am the one to call to make a report.
This seems so unfair to me. I understand that when a man hits a woman, it doesn't have the same effect than when a woman hits a man.
But again, I was trying to defend myself.

Based on the experience of the readers here, what is likely going to happen to me?
This my very first offense ever. I consider myself a good citizen. I am a responsible father, the financial support for my entire family. I am a highly educated software engineer, a homeowner, small-business owner, and a volunteer for a number of non-profit organizations.

Is there anything I or my wife can do to improve my chances of being convincted or being charged for a felony?

Thanks!

I hope both of you are incredibly embarrassed for how you behaved in front of your children. And I further hope that they are now in the custody of someone who actually cares about them enough to protect them from their parents. Disgusting behavior.

ETA - I don't think you need to do anything to improve your chances of being charged OR convicted. She should be, too.

 

[stealth2]

BTW - is this the same wife you were planning to divorce over a year ago, or is this a new wife?