Keeping my ex from my step daughters

[Rushia]

I am truly sitting here and scratching my head while reading this. Like the other posters, I don't understand why the stepchildren have to be where she can easily access them. I highly doubt a bunch of nine year olds know what the ex wife is allegedly doing. It sounds to me that the exwife is making an effort to at least be polite.

Then again, maybe because I am friends with my ex's (well she is planning to divorce him now) wife and have been almost the entire time they've been together. Perhaps thinking back I should have taken her friendly overtures and filed a restraining order.

You do know, OP, that divorced couples do NOT have to be enemies. That Mom and Stepmom do not have to be enemies. It's a matter of honesty and respect. My kids Stepmom knew without a doubt that she was welcome to my ex, I did NOT want him back. I knew without a doubt that she was not and would NEVER disrespect my place as the childrens mother. Now my ex has lost her and I still have my friendship with her.

 

[muchneededhelp]

It sounds to me that the exwife is making an effort to at least be polite.

Your ex may hate your new wife with a passion, but that doesn't mean she's taking anything out on the kids, or digging for information. If your ex is defaming your wife on public forums, that's a different matter entirely. But the children don't seem "in the middle". If anything, you might be putting them in the middle because of how you and your current wife feel about what she's done. The hugging is a bit much; so why don't you tell your children to tell her if it makes them feel uncomfortable?

I have a very odd relationship with my ex; I was even invited to the hospital to meet his first born child with his new wife. His wife and her mother have made a visit to my house to see my newborn baby girl with my husband. Relationships between divorcees can work out. Maybe your new wife should start facilitating a better relationship with your ex, based on the fact that she seems to enjoy your new stepchildren.

 

[CLJM]

....my step daughters come crying to their mother as to why would xxx would try to hug them....

Interesting......the step daughters are so uncomfortable they cry to their Mother. I am wondering, as others are, that in feeling so uncomfortable to the point of crying, that 9 year olds would continue to go to the door to be in that position...AND....get close enough to be hugged !!!!!

I also think it's wonderful that she walks your boys to the door. "curbside pickup" ?? .....only for the very worst adversarial situations, and I just don't see that here.

Camster39.... please don't make this about the children. How the adults deal with these situations is certainly a teaching/learning process for the daughters. "Children learn what they live and live what they learn". You and your new wife are the deciding factors of what that teaching and learning will be.