kinthenorthwest
Junior Member
When I divorced my ex husband, I did everything in my power to be the good person and not to alienate my kids and grandkids from him. These are my children and their children from a previous marriage whom did not live with us; only visited. I had lived with home about 20 years and been married a bit over 10 years.
I initially asked for a lump cash sum which I knew was not even 1/4 of the assets(house was worth at least 4xs that much at the time). He countered with $10,000 less, and that we use a mediator versus lawyers. I accepted on the condition that all of his assets were to be revealed; all bank accounts, and cash value of his company retirement fund. (I pretty much knew the value of the home.). All I wanted to do was get away from him and have enough money to get some type of inexpensive home and have a bit of cash in the bank to help me start over. I also left him 3 rooms of furniture that was technically my pre-marital assets so that he would not have to financially struggle anymore than he had been claiming he would be doing. Boy did he make sure the mediator knew what was his premarital assets.
Six months later I found out that he did not reveal all of his cash assets. In fact he had hidden statements regarding over 1/2 of his liquid assets. I told him I would sign an affidavit stating I would get no other monies if he would supply these bank statements as he had initially promised. If he didn't I told him I would take him back to court.
I gave him 6 weeks to supply this information as he had initially promised. In the 6 weeks all I got were numerous abusive phone calls to the point that I had to get caller ID so that I could avoid them.
Long story short I ended up taking him to court. He got his assets frozen and was told to turn over the bank records.
My lawyer was overly aggressive and was initially suing for all the hidden assets. After the first hearing the Judge not only told my ex he was wrong, the judge froze his all his liquid assets and ordered him to turn over all bank records to my lawyer and me. At this time I told my ex I got the records so if you pay my lawyer's bill I'm done(it was about $1500-$2000 at that time. Of course he told me in not so nice terms what I could do.
After every court hearing and usually before each hearing I would give him the opportunity to stop the mess by paying the lawyer fees I had needlessly incurred. Over the course of the next 3 trials I gave my ex over 1/2 dozen opportunities to stop the mess by just paying the money that I was out in getting the records. Meanwhile the Judge actually seemed to be getting frustrated with his inconsistencies. Even the forensic accountant that the judge ordered couldn't understand my ex's reasoning.
Lawyer on my end finally escalated to close to $30,000 and the forensic accountant was about $20,000 by the end. It was also during this time that I found out he had also lied about not using a lawyer during our mediation process.
End result was that he was ordered to pay 90% of my lawyer costs, all the court costs, all the forensic auditor's cost and I got 1/2 of all the hidden assets since the judge deemed them to be marital assets.
So in return what does he do, he alienates my children and grandkids by telling them over and over how I ruined him financially. Hey all I ended up with was about an extra seven thousand dollars after my expenses.
Just found out from one of my daughters that he has been relentlessly complaining to all my children and grandchildren how I destroyed him financially , and still is. Like she told me I can't stand going over there anymore. It's been 8 years, it's time for my sister and him to drop it. My grandchildren were not even teens when he started his tirades with my grandchildren. After the final trial he probably had very little liquid assets but his company retirement plan was still 100% his and intact, and the home was still 100% his.
I on the other hand did all I could to keep this whole mess between just the two of us, as it should have been. In fact at the time I told my family very little about the whys of the divorce or new trial. If asked I told them it was between their step dad and me. I didn't want it to affect their family's relationship with my ex.
Just recently one of my daughters wanted to know the whole truth, due to a statement one of her children. The above statement is what I pretty much told her. She informed me she knew about the physical abuse due to some of her children seeing it and reporting it to her. Divorce was due to many years of emotional abuse which all my children pretty much knew. When it eventually become physical the last two or so years I did try and hid that. The daughter who will not speak to me now was the one who kept asking me why I would stay with some an abusive man, and had seemed behind my leaving. To this day I thought she meant emotional. Now I am wondering about how much she did know.
Hey I suspected this might have been the reason my one child had alienated me and grandkids were cold. Now I know for sure. It hurts every time I end up in a family situation that they are at and she shoots me daggers.
Yes I have tried to say hey I'm sorry for whatever and let's start over by leaving whatever I did behind. It was really bad. With no more words from me, I ending crawling after she wouldn't stop screaming obscenities at me for about 2 minutes No, nothing was said about my ex.
Ok now question...Could I sue my ex-husband for intentional alienation of affection in regards to my family. Remember these were only his step kids and step grandchildren and prior to taking him back to court I had a good relationship with them all.
I initially asked for a lump cash sum which I knew was not even 1/4 of the assets(house was worth at least 4xs that much at the time). He countered with $10,000 less, and that we use a mediator versus lawyers. I accepted on the condition that all of his assets were to be revealed; all bank accounts, and cash value of his company retirement fund. (I pretty much knew the value of the home.). All I wanted to do was get away from him and have enough money to get some type of inexpensive home and have a bit of cash in the bank to help me start over. I also left him 3 rooms of furniture that was technically my pre-marital assets so that he would not have to financially struggle anymore than he had been claiming he would be doing. Boy did he make sure the mediator knew what was his premarital assets.
Six months later I found out that he did not reveal all of his cash assets. In fact he had hidden statements regarding over 1/2 of his liquid assets. I told him I would sign an affidavit stating I would get no other monies if he would supply these bank statements as he had initially promised. If he didn't I told him I would take him back to court.
I gave him 6 weeks to supply this information as he had initially promised. In the 6 weeks all I got were numerous abusive phone calls to the point that I had to get caller ID so that I could avoid them.
Long story short I ended up taking him to court. He got his assets frozen and was told to turn over the bank records.
My lawyer was overly aggressive and was initially suing for all the hidden assets. After the first hearing the Judge not only told my ex he was wrong, the judge froze his all his liquid assets and ordered him to turn over all bank records to my lawyer and me. At this time I told my ex I got the records so if you pay my lawyer's bill I'm done(it was about $1500-$2000 at that time. Of course he told me in not so nice terms what I could do.
After every court hearing and usually before each hearing I would give him the opportunity to stop the mess by paying the lawyer fees I had needlessly incurred. Over the course of the next 3 trials I gave my ex over 1/2 dozen opportunities to stop the mess by just paying the money that I was out in getting the records. Meanwhile the Judge actually seemed to be getting frustrated with his inconsistencies. Even the forensic accountant that the judge ordered couldn't understand my ex's reasoning.
Lawyer on my end finally escalated to close to $30,000 and the forensic accountant was about $20,000 by the end. It was also during this time that I found out he had also lied about not using a lawyer during our mediation process.
End result was that he was ordered to pay 90% of my lawyer costs, all the court costs, all the forensic auditor's cost and I got 1/2 of all the hidden assets since the judge deemed them to be marital assets.
So in return what does he do, he alienates my children and grandkids by telling them over and over how I ruined him financially. Hey all I ended up with was about an extra seven thousand dollars after my expenses.
Just found out from one of my daughters that he has been relentlessly complaining to all my children and grandchildren how I destroyed him financially , and still is. Like she told me I can't stand going over there anymore. It's been 8 years, it's time for my sister and him to drop it. My grandchildren were not even teens when he started his tirades with my grandchildren. After the final trial he probably had very little liquid assets but his company retirement plan was still 100% his and intact, and the home was still 100% his.
I on the other hand did all I could to keep this whole mess between just the two of us, as it should have been. In fact at the time I told my family very little about the whys of the divorce or new trial. If asked I told them it was between their step dad and me. I didn't want it to affect their family's relationship with my ex.
Just recently one of my daughters wanted to know the whole truth, due to a statement one of her children. The above statement is what I pretty much told her. She informed me she knew about the physical abuse due to some of her children seeing it and reporting it to her. Divorce was due to many years of emotional abuse which all my children pretty much knew. When it eventually become physical the last two or so years I did try and hid that. The daughter who will not speak to me now was the one who kept asking me why I would stay with some an abusive man, and had seemed behind my leaving. To this day I thought she meant emotional. Now I am wondering about how much she did know.
Hey I suspected this might have been the reason my one child had alienated me and grandkids were cold. Now I know for sure. It hurts every time I end up in a family situation that they are at and she shoots me daggers.
Yes I have tried to say hey I'm sorry for whatever and let's start over by leaving whatever I did behind. It was really bad. With no more words from me, I ending crawling after she wouldn't stop screaming obscenities at me for about 2 minutes No, nothing was said about my ex.
Ok now question...Could I sue my ex-husband for intentional alienation of affection in regards to my family. Remember these were only his step kids and step grandchildren and prior to taking him back to court I had a good relationship with them all.
