Seperating...what to do with house and custody?

[RIC0485]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My fiancee and I were together for almost 4 years. In that time we bought a house and had a son together. The house deed and mortgage is all under my name alone. But here is the problem. She had some savings when we first got together and when we found out she was pregnant I asked her to marry me and we started to build a future together. We added my name to her bank acct and we just kept our savings together in that acct to purchase a home and to afford a wedding.
When we purchased the house I had no debt whatsoever and decent credit so we went with my name alone. She had a school loan and a car loan with too low of an income to qualify for a mortgage. We made the downpayment with the funds in the joint account, but EVERYTHING else is in my name.
Does she have any ownership at all to the house? I'm not trying to screw her out of everything but I just want to know legally is she intitled to anything? I'm willing to pay her out but she doesnt want that.

 

[Banned_Princess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My fiancee and I were together for almost 4 years. In that time we bought a house and had a son together. The house deed and mortgage is all under my name alone. But here is the problem. She had some savings when we first got together and when we found out she was pregnant I asked her to marry me and we started to build a future together. We added my name to her bank acct and we just kept our savings together in that acct to purchase a home and to afford a wedding.

you never got legally married, all that folows is civil law issus. taken up in small claims court.

When we purchased the house I had no debt whatsoever and decent credit so we went with my name alone.

then its your house.

She had a school loan and a car loan with too low of an income to qualify for a mortgage. We made the downpayment with the funds in the joint account, but EVERYTHING else is in my name.

Then everything is yours. in civil court she would have to show the money she actually put in it, and that it was a loan, not a gift, and that she shouldnt have paid anything to the house she was living in. (think "rent")

Does she have any ownership at all to the house?

.

no. you weren't married, and everything is in your name. I would go take my name off her account, and don't put any money in it. but first get a printout to the time before you used the money to buy the house, just to show proof of where it came from, and that it was a co owned account.

I'm not trying to screw her out of everything but I just want to know legally is she intitled to anything? I'm willing to pay her out but she doesnt want that.

thats the best she would get, only on the cash she can prove she loaned you. so tell her to sue you. I doubt you would lose anything significant.



the mutual child is something else entirely.

 

[RIC0485]

Thank you for your quick response Princess. I really appreciate the thorough answers. Thats kinda what I figured.
The whole custody is what is a real bummer.

Our seperation is a not bitter/spiteful one (fingers crossed). Luckily we both have our childs best interest in mind first and foremost. We are both really good with our son and can handle taking care of him but my work hours make it impossible to make an attempt at custody of him. I work 3am-noon and commute an hour each way. Therefore if I stay in the house I'm essentially kicking her and my son out. I know its not the truth of the matter but its how I feel. The town where my house is is tiny and its really hard to find a good paying job there and then get lucky enough to have banker hours to take care of him.

I know he will adjust to his new surroundings when the time comes but he is only 3 and I feel like I should be taking care of him, not putting him in a different surrounding.
This just sucks all together

 

[Banned_Princess]

Thank you for your quick response Princess. I really appreciate the thorough answers. Thats kinda what I figured.
The whole custody is what is a real bummer.

Our seperation is a not bitter/spiteful one (fingers crossed). Luckily we both have our childs best interest in mind first and foremost. We are both really good with our son and can handle taking care of him but my work hours make it impossible to make an attempt at custody of him. I work 3am-noon and commute an hour each way. Therefore if I stay in the house I'm essentially kicking her and my son out. I know its not the truth of the matter but its how I feel. The town where my house is is tiny and its really hard to find a good paying job there and then get lucky enough to have banker hours to take care of him.

I know he will adjust to his new surroundings when the time comes but he is only 3 and I feel like I should be taking care of him, not putting him in a different surrounding.
This just sucks all together

Ok, well good luck then.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My fiancee and I were together for almost 4 years. In that time we bought a house and had a son together. The house deed and mortgage is all under my name alone. But here is the problem. She had some savings when we first got together and when we found out she was pregnant I asked her to marry me and we started to build a future together. We added my name to her bank acct and we just kept our savings together in that acct to purchase a home and to afford a wedding.
When we purchased the house I had no debt whatsoever and decent credit so we went with my name alone. She had a school loan and a car loan with too low of an income to qualify for a mortgage. We made the downpayment with the funds in the joint account, but EVERYTHING else is in my name.
Does she have any ownership at all to the house? I'm not trying to screw her out of everything but I just want to know legally is she intitled to anything? I'm willing to pay her out but she doesnt want that.

The house is your property alone because its in your name alone. However, at a minimum you morally owe her the money that she put into the home's down payment.

 

[Silverplum]

The house is your property alone because its in your name alone. However, at a minimum you morally owe her the money that she put into the home's down payment.

And what does she owe him, morally?

 

[Bali Hai]

The house is your property alone because its in your name alone. However, at a minimum you morally owe her the money that she put into the home's down payment.

If she doesn't want the money as OP has intimated, what do you suggest?

 

[RIC0485]

The house is your property alone because its in your name alone. However, at a minimum you morally owe her the money that she put into the home's down payment.

I somewhat agree with what youre saying. I'm not interested in keeping everything and telling her to take a hike. After all we have a son and I want her to be able to possibly buy her own house or just get a good start with some money in the bank, even if shes just renting a place. Nothing is free and I wouldn't feel right just telling her to take a hike. But now that I know she has no ownership of the house I can tell her to take the money or take nothing.

 

[ecmst12]

If you WANT her to be able to stay in the house so you can move closer to work, you can talk about a refinance/buyout....but I don't know if she would qualify to refinance the mortgage into her name or if you have any equity.

 

[RIC0485]

If you WANT her to be able to stay in the house so you can move closer to work, you can talk about a refinance/buyout....but I don't know if she would qualify to refinance the mortgage into her name or if you have any equity.

I've thought about that. I know she wouldn't qualify and theres not much equity. I would love to move closer to work and live in the bay area. Way better of a city/weather and better city for a single person. But that would put me far away from my son and I wouldn't see him as much. Thats why its not really worth it to me.

I offered for her to stay in the house charge her a really low rent. And instead of paying me monthly I would just deduct it from the money I said I would give her for the down payment but shes not too fond of helping to pay off my mortgage. It saves me from having to move in to a spare bedroom at my parents house for the time being so I'm kind of glad she didn't want to go that route.

I'm just wondering how a judge would observe all of this. Would he look at it like I'm putting my ex and son out of my home and then hammer me with child support so she can afford her own place? Or would he look at the deal I proposed to her to stay in the house essentially rent free and say she made a mistake not staying there for the sake of our son? We both dont make a ton of money. I make approx 45k but she only makes 25k. The mortgage is only $850/month (just bought during housing recession)

 

[LdiJ]

I've thought about that. I know she wouldn't qualify and theres not much equity. I would love to move closer to work and live in the bay area. Way better of a city/weather and better city for a single person. But that would put me far away from my son and I wouldn't see him as much. Thats why its not really worth it to me.

I offered for her to stay in the house charge her a really low rent. And instead of paying me monthly I would just deduct it from the money I said I would give her for the down payment but shes not too fond of helping to pay off my mortgage. It saves me from having to move in to a spare bedroom at my parents house for the time being so I'm kind of glad she didn't want to go that route.

I'm just wondering how a judge would observe all of this. Would he look at it like I'm putting my ex and son out of my home and then hammer me with child support so she can afford her own place? Or would he look at the deal I proposed to her to stay in the house essentially rent free and say she made a mistake not staying there for the sake of our son? We both dont make a ton of money. I make approx 45k but she only makes 25k. The mortgage is only $850/month (just bought during housing recession)

Child support is going to be the same no matter what. Its a guideline calculation. Therefore neither scenario would make any difference to the judge.

 

[Zigner]

Child support is going to be the same no matter what. Its a guideline calculation. Therefore neither scenario would make any difference to the judge.

I disagree. A judge can absolutely factor in money towards housing in lieu of support. However, this may have tax implications which you would be better able to address.

 

[LdiJ]

I disagree. A judge can absolutely factor in money towards housing in lieu of support. However, this may have tax implications which you would be better able to address.

This is not a divorce though, its an unwed situation. I don't think that I have ever seen a judge order paid expenses in lieu of cash for child support, in an unwed situation. Its rare enough even with divorces. Its more common when its spousal support.

 

[mistoffolees]

This is not a divorce though, its an unwed situation. I don't think that I have ever seen a judge order paid expenses in lieu of cash for child support, in an unwed situation. Its rare enough even with divorces. Its more common when its spousal support.

The judge can absolutely do that. Judge simply orders that OP pays the cost of the housing and whatever else is included plus $xx in cash per month. Or, judge can ignore the cost issue and simply say that OP agrees to allow ex to stay in the house for free and as long as he does that, CS is $xx per month. If ex chooses to move, CS goes to $yy per month.

Be sure to include something like ex being required to provide reasonable care for the home, who pays for utilities, and specifically stating that ex does not obtain an ownership interest in the home.

Alternatively, you could simply sell the house and give her some cash.

 

[RIC0485]

The judge can absolutely do that. Judge simply orders that OP pays the cost of the housing and whatever else is included plus $xx in cash per month. Or, judge can ignore the cost issue and simply say that OP agrees to allow ex to stay in the house for free and as long as he does that, CS is $xx per month. If ex chooses to move, CS goes to $yy per month.

Be sure to include something like ex being required to provide reasonable care for the home, who pays for utilities, and specifically stating that ex does not obtain an ownership interest in the home.

Alternatively, you could simply sell the house and give her some cash.

The increase in child support is what I'm afraid of if she decides to move. Our son is 3 and needs to be in daycare during the day so that ups the child support considerably (I'm assuming this. I'm sure you guys know more about this). I don't want to pay some outrageous amount if she decides to move. Seems like it might be easier to not give her the option and just have her move out and pay what the judge decides to be fit for our situation.

The only reason I considered it is for our son not to have to move. I know every situation is different but what do you think the ballpark figure might be on the child support amount?