Seperating...what to do with house and custody?

[LdiJ]

The increase in child support is what I'm afraid of if she decides to move. Our son is 3 and needs to be in daycare during the day so that ups the child support considerably (I'm assuming this. I'm sure you guys know more about this). I don't want to pay some outrageous amount if she decides to move. Seems like it might be easier to not give her the option and just have her move out and pay what the judge decides to be fit for our situation.

The only reason I considered it is for our son not to have to move. I know every situation is different but what do you think the ballpark figure might be on the child support amount?

To be honest dad, I really don't see it being feasible for her to remain in the house. Certainly no judge could or would force her to live there, and it could become very complicated for her to be living in a home that you own.

CA's child support calculations are pretty complex, therefore no one can ballpark it for you. However you can google for CA child support calculators on line and run the numbers yourself. If your county uses the dissomaster then that is the one you should look for. Be sure to include daycare costs in your calculation.

 

[Banned_Princess]

pssst... CA has EVERYTHING online.


http://www.childsup.ca.gov/Resources/CalculateChildSupport/tabid/114/Default.aspx

 

[RIC0485]

Thanks for the links! Its much appreciated. I know its a rough estimate but it looks like I'm up going to be broke for awhile.

You guys/girls have been great and very helpful. I cant tell you how alone it feels to be in this situation and to hear some sound advice from individuals with actual experience is great. Its helped clear my mind a lot. My ex and I really dont want to deal with the courts and custody hearings to decide the outcome. We both have been really civil thus far and have our sons best interest in mind. But when it comes down to money any situation and become tense, very quickly.

My question is: if we decide to do it ourselves, what is the best way to go about it? have a lawyer write up an agreement or is that what mediation is for? We already know how custody is going to be. We really haven't settled on an CS amount but she knows I will be there for my son and any costs that go along with it. Or should I just go through the process to protect myself and my house from her taking me to court at some later date and demanding back-payments?

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks for the links! Its much appreciated. I know its a rough estimate but it looks like I'm up going to be broke for awhile.

You guys/girls have been great and very helpful. I cant tell you how alone it feels to be in this situation and to hear some sound advice from individuals with actual experience is great. Its helped clear my mind a lot. My ex and I really dont want to deal with the courts and custody hearings to decide the outcome. We both have been really civil thus far and have our sons best interest in mind. But when it comes down to money any situation and become tense, very quickly.

My question is: if we decide to do it ourselves, what is the best way to go about it? have a lawyer write up an agreement or is that what mediation is for? We already know how custody is going to be. We really haven't settled on an CS amount but she knows I will be there for my son and any costs that go along with it. Or should I just go through the process to protect myself and my house from her taking me to court at some later date and demanding back-payments?

Google 'self help divorce california'

 

[LdiJ]

Google 'self help divorce california'

They aren't married.

One of the courthouses in your county will have a family law facilitator's office or a self help center. You may be able to manage things without an attorney if you get help from them and can agree.

 

[RIC0485]

We can agree on how his custody will be handled because my work will not allow me to ask for 50/50 custody. I would love to but I have to leave my house at 1:30am for work and would have to depend on a family member sleeping over in order to take him to daycare and I HIGHLY doubt that would happen. The only time I would have him overnight is every other weekend and every sunday night because I'm off mondays.

My question is if we decide to work out his custody like this, can I still fight for 50/50 custody at a later date? I want to either change positions at my current work or find another job closer to home that would allow me to care for him if we split his time. Or is that something I would have to do from the get go?

 

[LdiJ]

We can agree on how his custody will be handled because my work will not allow me to ask for 50/50 custody. I would love to but I have to leave my house at 1:30am for work and would have to depend on a family member sleeping over in order to take him to daycare and I HIGHLY doubt that would happen. The only time I would have him overnight is every other weekend and every sunday night because I'm off mondays.

My question is if we decide to work out his custody like this, can I still fight for 50/50 custody at a later date? I want to either change positions at my current work or find another job closer to home that would allow me to care for him if we split his time. Or is that something I would have to do from the get go?

50/50 is rarely ordered unless its something the parents agree upon. It takes good cooperation and co-parenting to make 50/50 work and that is why judges are reluctant to do so, absent the agreement of both parties.

So, your odds of getting 50/50 in the future would depend a great deal on how well you and mom get along and are able to co-parent.