Facebook & Derogatory Remarks/Cease and Desist?

[Ohiogal]

Upon further reflection, not only is mom encouraging the children to break the rules, she's encouraging them to break the law (unauthorized access to a computer network)

The interesting thing is if mom files a motion to show cause against dad for posting derogatory things on facebook, I look for her to lose because she is knowingly allowing the children to violate facebook's rules and the law. Go figure that. Now if she were following the rules and the law, the children would NOT be exposed to such things stated by dad. So it is due to mother allowing her children to violate the rules that they are exposed to dad's opinions regarding her.

 

[mommymushbrain]

Yes, I understand the Facebook age.

However, these accounts were created at dad's. They were kept hidden from my knowledge because I do not approve. I had the first ones deleted due to underage. More were created at dad's.

It was either play cat and mouse with the continuing creation of accounts or allow an account where I had access to see what they were posting and who they were friends with.

They are not allowed on facebook at my house.

 

[mariasusa]

So they connect with their dad via FB while at HIS house?

 

[mommymushbrain]

So they connect with their dad via FB while at HIS house?

Yes. Silly as it sounds. Yes.

In fact, here is my original post on here...

https://forum.freeadvice.com/computers-software-internet-law-10/11-year-old-internet-safety-536801.html

 

[mistoffolees]

Yes, I understand the Facebook age.

However, these accounts were created at dad's. They were kept hidden from my knowledge because I do not approve. I had the first ones deleted due to underage. More were created at dad's.

It was either play cat and mouse with the continuing creation of accounts or allow an account where I had access to see what they were posting and who they were friends with.

They are not allowed on facebook at my house.

Then you can notify Facebook that xyz account was opened by your child who is younger than 13 and you would like them to close the account.

However, once again, I think you're getting worked up over something that's outside of your control - and making an issue of it only makes you look petty. If Dad is posting things on FB that the kids can only see at his house, why is that any different than him saying something about you when the kids are at his house. Granted, he shouldn't be doing that, either, but some battles aren't worth fighting.

Now, your other thread implies that illegal or dangerous activities might be going on. If that's the case, the response might be different but it seems that this thread is about whether you should stop Dad from saying bad things about you on FB.

 

[mommymushbrain]

Then you can notify Facebook that xyz account was opened by your child who is younger than 13 and you would like them to close the account.

However, once again, I think you're getting worked up over something that's outside of your control - and making an issue of it only makes you look petty. If Dad is posting things on FB that the kids can only see at his house, why is that any different than him saying something about you when the kids are at his house. Granted, he shouldn't be doing that, either, but some battles aren't worth fighting.

Now, your other thread implies that illegal or dangerous activities might be going on. If that's the case, the response might be different but it seems that this thread is about whether you should stop Dad from saying bad things about you on FB.

The dangerous stuff stopped when I took control of their online stuff, specifically facebook. That is why I said the only people on their friends list is family.

But of course, that doesn't mean they don't have another secret facebook account out there that I am not aware of just yet. But that's dad's house and dad's rules, right?

 

[csi7]

You can contact cyberangels for help with this issue.
This is NOT worth the fight.
You are responsible for the children's well-being, law-abiding rules, as long as they are under your supervision.

 

[mistoffolees]

The dangerous stuff stopped when I took control of their online stuff, specifically facebook. That is why I said the only people on their friends list is family.

You're trying to have it both ways. First you say that FB is only an issue at Dad's house and you don't allow it at your house.

Then you say that you have control of the account. Those two positions are incompatible. If you have control, you don't have to allow it at all. Close the account.

Obviously, you've decided that it's OK for the kids to have an account so you left it open. That's a perfectly reasonable position. But stop pretending that it's all him and you have no role in the decision - you control the account.

But of course, that doesn't mean they don't have another secret facebook account out there that I am not aware of just yet. But that's dad's house and dad's rules, right?

As long as they're not doing anything dangerous, that's correct.

 

[mommymushbrain]

You're trying to have it both ways. First you say that FB is only an issue at Dad's house and you don't allow it at your house.

Then you say that you have control of the account. Those two positions are incompatible. If you have control, you don't have to allow it at all. Close the account.

Obviously, you've decided that it's OK for the kids to have an account so you left it open. That's a perfectly reasonable position. But stop pretending that it's all him and you have no role in the decision - you control the account.

As long as they're not doing anything dangerous, that's correct.

So I close the account...

Another pops up that I don't get to find out about this time.

And then the provocative pictures begin again... all without me being aware.

Something happens to the girls.

Yeah, longshot. But I'm not one to pretend that everything is okay on the internet and nothing bad will ever happen.

I feel like my hands are tied... I can't help keep them safe, but if I do, then I'm controlling?

 

[TiredinCali]

The dangerous stuff stopped when I took control of their online stuff, specifically facebook. That is why I said the only people on their friends list is family.

But of course, that doesn't mean they don't have another secret facebook account out there that I am not aware of just yet. But that's dad's house and dad's rules, right?

If you have control over their Facebook accounts (and lets face it, plenty of kids under the age of 18 have a Facebook account whether its ok or not) , you can delete a post that might be on their page that is questionable or wrong. You can delete a friend that might be questionable. And again, if you have control like you say, you can also delete the account if you feel their father is posting things they should not see.
My recent jaunt back to court with the ex even has verbage in our CO about Facebook and other social networks. Our daughter is 13. This is the verbage from our CO...
THE CHILD MAY BE PERMITTED TO UTILIZE THE SOCIAL NETWORKS SUCH AS FACEBOOK, YOUTUBE, ETC., EACH
PARENT IS TO HAVE ACCESS AND PASSWORDS TO ALL SOCIAL NETWORKS UTILIZED BY THE CHILD, IF EITHER
PARENT IS NOT PROVIDED WITH ACCESS/PASSWORDS TO A SPECIFIC SOCIAL NETWORK, THE CHILD IS EXCLUDED
FROM USING THAT SOCIAL NETWORK.

 

[TiredinCali]

So I close the account...

Another pops up that I don't get to find out about this time.

And then the provocative pictures begin again... all without me being aware.

Something happens to the girls.

Yeah, longshot. But I'm not one to pretend that everything is okay on the internet and nothing bad will ever happen.

I feel like my hands are tied... I can't help keep them safe, but if I do, then I'm controlling?

You are not being CONTROLLING. You are being the parent.

Why is a 11 or 10 year old posting provocative pictures on Facebook to begin with? Im not naive that kids do some funky things now a days, but that is cause for alarm in my opinion.

 

[Zigner]

If you have control over their Facebook accounts (and lets face it, plenty of kids under the age of 18 have a Facebook account whether its ok or not)

That's because the age limit on FB is 13...

 

[TiredinCali]

That's because the age limit on FB is 13...

Understood. However, children younger than that (due to lying about their age) do have a Facebook account.

 

[Ohiogal]

Understood. However, children younger than that (due to lying about their age) do have a Facebook account.

And their parents have the power to shut it down. Mom could also ground her lying brats for making new accounts and being on the internet site when they are NOT old enough, are not following the computer rules and are disobeying her. Dad cannot allow them to do something against the law.

Apparently though the 10 and 11 year olds are the ones in charge.

 

[mommymushbrain]

And their parents have the power to shut it down. Mom could also ground her lying brats for making new accounts and being on the internet site when they are NOT old enough, are not following the computer rules and are disobeying her. Dad cannot allow them to do something against the law.

Apparently though the 10 and 11 year olds are the ones in charge.

This has been a thought.

My question... how can I punish them for something they do at dad's house? Dad's house, dad's rules, right?

Then can I punish them for staying up late over there? For eating a bunch of junk food and not brushing their teeth?

If it were happening at a friend's house, I could just say they were no longer allowed over there... but this is dad's house.