My wife asked if I have been served

[johnjgabel87]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

If my wife asks if I have been served yet, am I obligated in any way to tell her...?

 

[HomeGuru]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

If my wife asks if I have been served yet, am I obligated in any way to tell her...?

**A: where were you served at McDonalds? Stop playing games and tell her the truth.

 

[johnjgabel87]

I'm only asking because....

I have to represent my self and do not want to put out any information that can affect me in a negitave way. I'm not playing games. I'm trying to be safe. We have a child involved and I am taking this sereously. I don't want to give out any ANY info that can possibly be used for her to do something to stop me from doing what I'm prepairing to do in court. So what you are saying is that by her knowing that I have been served, there is NOTHING she can file after that to hurt me anymore than she already has???

 

[LdiJ]

I have to represent my self and do not want to put out any information that can affect me in a negitave way. I'm not playing games. I'm trying to be safe. We have a child involved and I am taking this sereously. I don't want to give out any ANY info that can possibly be used for her to do something to stop me from doing what I'm prepairing to do in court. So what you are saying is that by her knowing that I have been served, there is NOTHING she can file after that to hurt me anymore than she already has???

She is going to know that you have been served soon enough, and you have to respond to her petition if you do not want a default ruling. You cannot simply "surprise" her in court with your response to her petition. You have to respond in advance and make your arguments in your response....and yes, she will be able to respond to your response.

Therefore, there is no point in trying to hide that you have been served.

 

[justalayman]

she would know if you have been served or not. Do you have a sammich setting in front of you? If not, you haven't been served/

 

[johnjgabel87]

i have been served

she would know if you have been served or not. Do you have a sammich setting in front of you? If not, you haven't been served/

i have been served and then why is she asking me if i have been served? does that mean she has a bad attorney if what he is saying and she is saying are not the same??

 

[Proserpina]

i have been served and then why is she asking me if i have been served? does that mean she has a bad attorney if what he is saying and she is saying are not the same??

That means nothing at all.

She's just asking you. This really isn't a big deal - in fact it's not even a teeny tiny deal.

 

[Proserpina]

i didn't know.. I think that by not asking is being ignorant in the law and that is no exception to the law... I do know that from the paperwork the lawyer is requesting that we commute but she is refusing too. so if that goes through in court for that to be a order for us to commute and practice our rights as parents in sharing joint legal custody and then she still refuses to acknowlagde the judge's orders, isn't that contempt in court? And i have found some false information pertaining to litigations made with our custody involved in the past, her attorney states there have been none but there have been... Isn't that purgury?

Commute? Are you using the right word there?

 

[johnjgabel87]

Commute? Are you using the right word there?

no i wasn't sorry, this is what i meant... its states that under legal custody that "That each party is to CONFER (not commute) with the other in the exercise of decision-making rights, responsibilities and authority relating to the child."

 

[Proserpina]

no i wasn't sorry, this is what i meant... its states that under legal custody that "That each party is to CONFER (not commute) with the other in the exercise of decision-making rights, responsibilities and authority relating to the child."

Ok. It seems that this is not happening - correct?

What exactly is Mom refusing to do?

You can request that the court order you both into co-parenting classes, or request that the court gives final veto power to one parent if you can't both agree on something.

(That's often a "safe" play when the parents can't co-parent effectively)

 

[mistoffolees]

Ok. It seems that this is not happening - correct?

What exactly is Mom refusing to do?

You can request that the court order you both into co-parenting classes, or request that the court gives final veto power to one parent if you can't both agree on something.

(That's often a "safe" play when the parents can't co-parent effectively)

But, really, OP is already playing games with service and not being willing to communicate with stbx on something as trivial as whether he has been served. I would really like OP to ask himself one question before doing anything: "Of the available options, which one benefits our child the most?" Then stop playing stupid games.

Looks to me like OP and his wife are going to make some attorneys rich.

 

[Proserpina]

But, really, OP is already playing games with service and not being willing to communicate with stbx on something as trivial as whether he has been served. I would really like OP to ask himself one question before doing anything: "Of the available options, which one benefits our child the most?" Then stop playing stupid games.

Looks to me like OP and his wife are going to make some attorneys rich.

Agreed. Hopefully OP will stick around the forums and try reading old threads.

He does have an awful lot of control about how easy or difficult the next however many years are going to be.

 

[johnjgabel87]

Ok. It seems that this is not happening - correct?

What exactly is Mom refusing to do?

You can request that the court order you both into co-parenting classes, or request that the court gives final veto power to one parent if you can't both agree on something.

(That's often a "safe" play when the parents can't co-parent effectively)

She is refusing to communicate with me at all. I request for my daughter's babysitter's information but no reply. She is not telling me what is going on with our daughter. she is grounding her daughter from talking to me, i/e**I would call to talk to my daughter and my wife would tell me she is too busy. Then a few weeks later i hardly got to talk to my daughter and then my wife tells me it's because she has been grounding her. i agree on the first part but what is a final veto power? im looking it up but dont understand.

 

[Proserpina]

She is refusing to communicate with me at all. I request for my daughter's babysitter's information but no reply. She is not telling me what is going on with our daughter. she is grounding her daughter from talking to me, i/e**I would call to talk to my daughter and my wife would tell me she is too busy. Then a few weeks later i hardly got to talk to my daughter and then my wife tells me it's because she has been grounding her. i agree on the first part but what is a final veto power? im looking it up but dont understand.

It means that if you and Mom can't come to an agreement, one parent gets to make the final decision themselves.

It's usually the primary custodial parent.

With regards to the phone calls - are those included in your current orders?

 

[cyjeff]

I agree.

If you aren't even going to confirm something that she will know ANYWAY when she talks to the process server, this is going to be a painful fight.