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Will she get it even if my business & myself sink?

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DespMan_KC

Junior Member
Hi all, I am in MI and am in a particularly difficult situation I hope there is a resolution for---
She filed for divorce reluctantly in March after being unfaithful and having a boyfriend for a year. She has tried to reconcile but after an initial attempt to work things out, theres no trusting her again. But her being unfaithful is irrelevant apparently.
She's been a stay at home mom to our son for 6 years and loves to spend money. She just recently got a job making about 30k (even thought she doesn't believe she should have to go back to work). I own a business and have a salary of about 110k. I get a couple bonuses every year of a combined total that doubles my salary, however, I put 90% of that total back into the business. So we have lived/only live off of my salary. So obviously my W2 shows my income as being much higher than what I really take home.

She is asking for 100k per year for the next 10 years (in addition to alimony and child support, continued payments/insurance on her expensive car, a $1 million life insurance policy, and a country club membership) It is all completely unreasonable and she basically wants to maintain her "no-work-spend-like-there's-no-tomorrow" lifestyle. If she gets what she wants, my business will sink and I will be left with 22k, if that, to live off of.
First mediation was last week....I tell the mediator i cant give her that because I dont have that money. I would have to take that money out of my business and if I do, my business will not be viable. He said "Doesn't matter. That's your income. You need to prove to me why that income figure should not take into account that money." So basically, if she gets what she wants, I'll lose my business and be living out of a box while she continues to live the "high life". Do I have any options at this point?? Is there a way around this or a way to prove that she can't get at that money??? What can be done??? Please help!
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
Hi all, I am in MI and am in a particularly difficult situation I hope there is a resolution for---
She filed for divorce reluctantly in March after being unfaithful and having a boyfriend for a year. She has tried to reconcile but after an initial attempt to work things out, theres no trusting her again. But her being unfaithful is irrelevant apparently.
She's been a stay at home mom to our son for 6 years and loves to spend money. She just recently got a job making about 30k (even thought she doesn't believe she should have to go back to work). I own a business and have a salary of about 110k. I get a couple bonuses every year of a combined total that doubles my salary, however, I put 90% of that total back into the business. So we have lived/only live off of my salary. So obviously my W2 shows my income as being much higher than what I really take home.

She is asking for 100k per year for the next 10 years (in addition to alimony and child support, continued payments/insurance on her expensive car, a $1 million life insurance policy, and a country club membership) It is all completely unreasonable and she basically wants to maintain her "no-work-spend-like-there's-no-tomorrow" lifestyle. If she gets what she wants, my business will sink and I will be left with 22k, if that, to live off of.
First mediation was last week....I tell the mediator i cant give her that because I dont have that money. I would have to take that money out of my business and if I do, my business will not be viable. He said "Doesn't matter. That's your income. You need to prove to me why that income figure should not take into account that money." So basically, if she gets what she wants, I'll lose my business and be living out of a box while she continues to live the "high life". Do I have any options at this point?? Is there a way around this or a way to prove that she can't get at that money??? What can be done??? Please help!
She wants $100,000 per year in addition to alimony and child support? Not gonna happen.

She can ASK. It's up to YOU to DENY.

GET an attorney.
 

DespMan_KC

Junior Member
I do have an attorney, and I did deny it....neither her nor I are budging with what the mediator is trying to work out. I just don't want this to go to court because I'm told she will be completely favored, despite her behavior during our marriage. I've considered putting out an offer but my attorney says no.

I do want to be clear that I don't want her to get nothing, I want my son to have a nice place to live and a nice life when he's with her.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
I do have an attorney, and I did deny it....neither her nor I are budging with what the mediator is trying to work out. I just don't want this to go to court because I'm told she will be completely favored, despite her behavior during our marriage. I've considered putting out an offer but my attorney says no.

I do want to be clear that I don't want her to get nothing, I want my son to have a nice place to live and a nice life when he's with her.
Listen to your attorney. S/He knows the law PLUS the "climate" of the local judges.

You don't second-guess your plumber or mechanic: don't do it with your attorney, either.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
You are represented by a (presumably) competent attorney who has all of the facts of your case. Talk to your attorney, not a bunch of random strangers.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
I do have an attorney, and I did deny it....neither her nor I are budging with what the mediator is trying to work out. I just don't want this to go to court because I'm told she will be completely favored, despite her behavior during our marriage. I've considered putting out an offer but my attorney says no.

I do want to be clear that I don't want her to get nothing, I want my son to have a nice place to live and a nice life when he's with her.
That's called interpreting the law to be fair to the woman.
 

tuffbrk

Senior Member
Your attorney should also be able to advise you regarding the effect of her cheating on the alimony/property settlement. If you have legal proof, it is possible that the courts will take that into consideration.
 

OHRoadwarrior

Senior Member
You need to see an accountant ASAP. I suspect you have been improperly attributing wages to yourself incorrectly. You may need to refile your taxes for several years.
 

DespMan_KC

Junior Member
My attorney is reputable, but seems to be carrying a "that's the way it is" attitude...because the woman is so favored. So I'm seeking second opinions or hopefully someone who has been through a similar situation who can give some insight. Isn't that the point of seeking advice from message board strangers, Zigner?

And I understand "being fair to the woman", but would the court really be so "fair" to the point that, I can barely support myself but that my soon to be ex will be living a financially worry-free life? Would the court really have no sense of reason about that?
 

DespMan_KC

Junior Member
You need to see an accountant ASAP. I suspect you have been improperly attributing wages to yourself incorrectly. You may need to refile your taxes for several years.

We have had accountants involved in this divorce. Wouldn't they have discovered that if that were the case?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Correct, and this actually reeks of outright fraud. The "wages" aren't truly wages at all...
 

DespMan_KC

Junior Member
Correct, and this actually reeks of outright fraud. The "wages" aren't truly wages at all...
I guarantee you there is nothing fraudulent going on. And if there was, why would I be advertising that on here? That's not the way I do business.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I guarantee you there is nothing fraudulent going on. And if there was, why would I be advertising that on here? That's not the way I do business.
Taking everything at your word, you definitely need an accountant.
 
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