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Visit with Mom

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LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ
My adopted daughter was removed by DYFS from her mother in NJ due to drugs and alcohol in April 2010 and placed in my custody in FL by DYFS for a period of one year. Mother has not attempted to visit and has provided no help or support to this day. Mother has invited her to visit NJ over holidays. The legal arrangement is shared custody with physical custody to mother. This has not changed. Since mom was absent and has failed to take a drug test required by DYFS, this was not a problem; however, mother is unpredictable and I have many concerns. Mother is supposedly doing better with drug and alcohol. I don't know what that means. She has stopped attending therapy. Cohabitating with boyfriend she met in AA/NA. I have heard that she is taking online college classes and working. Not sure what is true. I think that in order to allow this visit, mom will need to take a clean D&A test and agree to change of custody. I don't want to deal with any confusion. I feel like the legal custody arrangement could cause major problems if mom decides not to send her back to FL. Child would very much like to see her mother. I think it is reasonable for a child to see her mother, but I am concerned. What would be the best course of action? Do I need an attorney and for what purpose?
You really do need to get custody changed before taking the risk of sending the child to visit mom in FL...unless you go with her and supervise the visits.

If something went wrong while the child was there, and DYFS got involved again, it could go very badly for you for allowing the child to be with mom unsupervised. Mom obviously did not complete her case plan, or DYFS would have ordered you to return the child to her.
 


abys32

Member
There are two systems involved here, the family court and DYFS. You are correct that mom made absolutely no effort to meet DYFS requirements. She was supposed to be free of D&A for a year. She never submitted a test and the year has come and gone with no attempt by mom to regain custody via DYFS or court system. I know that she initially dropped out of her inpatient program. I don't know what kind of treatment she had after that, if any. I know she receives no treatment now. Even if mom is doing well now, she seems a high risk for relapse. The DYFS plan was one year. At the end of the year, case worker called to find out how daughter is doing and closed the case. Even so, I agree that there caution is due with these visits given the history.

What is the easiest way to change custody? Is it possible for mother and I to sign an agreement and submit it? Family mediator? Unless mom already has other plans, I think I could persuade her to sign anything having to do with custody (that does not require her to pay anything). Should I get a written recommendation/requirements for custody and visitation from the DYFS worker?

What is UCCJEA? What are the possible consequences?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
There are two systems involved here, the family court and DYFS. You are correct that mom made absolutely no effort to meet DYFS requirements. She was supposed to be free of D&A for a year. She never submitted a test and the year has come and gone with no attempt by mom to regain custody via DYFS or court system. I know that she initially dropped out of her inpatient program. I don't know what kind of treatment she had after that, if any. I know she receives no treatment now. Even if mom is doing well now, she seems a high risk for relapse. The DYFS plan was one year. At the end of the year, case worker called to find out how daughter is doing and closed the case. Even so, I agree that there caution is due with these visits given the history.

What is the easiest way to change custody? Is it possible for mother and I to sign an agreement and submit it? Family mediator? Unless mom already has other plans, I think I could persuade her to sign anything having to do with custody (that does not require her to pay anything). Should I get a written recommendation/requirements for custody and visitation from the DYFS worker?

What is UCCJEA? What are the possible consequences?
If you can get mom to sign an agreement, I would recommend having one drafted by an attorney in the state with jurisdiction. Then the attorney can submit it to the courts. There is no need to involved DYFS at this point.
 

abys32

Member
Would it be easier to use existing NJ court case or to transfer to Florida? Especially interested in answers from anyone who is familiar with either or both of those family court systems.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Would it be easier to use existing NJ court case or to transfer to Florida? Especially interested in answers from anyone who is familiar with either or both of those family court systems.
If at least one parent remains in NJ, its unlikely that NJ would allow the jurisdiction to be changed to FL.
 

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