Getting 2 holidays added to existing holiday schedule

[cherylsarah01]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I would like Easter and Halloween added to the existing holiday schedule.

We have switched every other year for these two holidays except for the last 2 years. My ex is not in favor of this request.

Is this a reasonable request to the court? If it is what paperwork would I use?

 

[Proserpina]

What exactly are you trying to do? Incorporate both into an alternating schedule? Have both with one parent?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I would like Easter and Halloween added to the existing holiday schedule.

We have switched every other year for these two holidays except for the last 2 years. My ex is not in favor of this request.

Is this a reasonable request to the court? If it is what paperwork would I use?

It's a reasonable request, but if your ex doesn't agree with it, it's probably a waste of time. It will be difficult to overcome his objections.

First, you have to show a change of circumstances to even get a hearing. Then, you have to show why the change would be in your child's best interests.

It's going to be hard to do either of those. And it won't be cheap if you end up fighting over it. If the two of you could agree, it would be easy to get it changed simply by filing a stipulation. But if you can't agree, it's almost certainly more trouble than it's worth.

This is a prime example of why it's worth bending over backwards to having a good co-parenting relationship. This is the sort of thing that two reasonable, mature adults should be able to resolve without having to go to court. Sadly, that doesn't happen anywhere near enough.

What is your current schedule?

 

[cherylsarah01]

What exactly are you trying to do? Incorporate both into an alternating schedule? Have both with one parent?

I would like to add these two holidays to the schedule with alternating years for each parent.

 

[cherylsarah01]

It's a reasonable request, but if your ex doesn't agree with it, it's probably a waste of time. It will be difficult to overcome his objections.

First, you have to show a change of circumstances to even get a hearing. Then, you have to show why the change would be in your child's best interests.

It's going to be hard to do either of those. And it won't be cheap if you end up fighting over it. If the two of you could agree, it would be easy to get it changed simply by filing a stipulation. But if you can't agree, it's almost certainly more trouble than it's worth.

This is a prime example of why it's worth bending over backwards to having a good co-parenting relationship. This is the sort of thing that two reasonable, mature adults should be able to resolve without having to go to court. Sadly, that doesn't happen anywhere near enough.

What is your current schedule?

Current schedule is these two holidays are not on it. Except for these last two years we have always gone even/odd with these two holidays.

 

[ecmst12]

If that's the ONLY thing you want to change, it's probably not worth a whole court hearing.

 

[Isis1]

It's a reasonable request, but if your ex doesn't agree with it, it's probably a waste of time. It will be difficult to overcome his objections.

First, you have to show a change of circumstances to even get a hearing. Then, you have to show why the change would be in your child's best interests.

It's going to be hard to do either of those. And it won't be cheap if you end up fighting over it. If the two of you could agree, it would be easy to get it changed simply by filing a stipulation. But if you can't agree, it's almost certainly more trouble than it's worth.

This is a prime example of why it's worth bending over backwards to having a good co-parenting relationship. This is the sort of thing that two reasonable, mature adults should be able to resolve without having to go to court. Sadly, that doesn't happen anywhere near enough.

What is your current schedule?

actually, that's not entirely true. the OP can most certainly get a hearing. to modify the schedule or for a clarification on the holiday schedule. a modification hearing is $40 or thereabouts. if it was status quo for a few years, solidifying an order is reasonable.

 

[mistoffolees]

actually, that's not entirely true. the OP can most certainly get a hearing. to modify the schedule or for a clarification on the holiday schedule. a modification hearing is $40 or thereabouts.

That's not what I've read:
Modification of Custody or Visitation in a California Divorce

Modification of Custody or Visitation in a California Divorce

If a parent wants to change an existing court order and the other parent won't agree to the change, he or she must file a motion (a written request) asking the court that issued the order to modify it. Usually, courts will modify an existing order only if the parent asking for the change can show a "substantial change in circumstances."

if it was status quo for a few years, solidifying an order is reasonable.

Reread. At one time it was the status quo, but they haven't been doing it for the past 2 years. It's no longer status quo.
"We have switched every other year for these two holidays except for the last 2 years."

 

[Proserpina]

So....why not offer Dad ONE extra revolving holiday?

Compromise.

 

[cherylsarah01]

So really it can't be added, it would be a lost cause is what I am reading?

Two years ago it was my turn, going by status quo at the time of every other year, to have her and because it fell on my week no real need to discuss.

Last year they fell on his weeks so no real need to discuss. But now he will have her for those holidays for the next 6 years. Is it not in the child's best interest to switch off?

For all those years before they fell on my week but we switched off years and now there is nothing really that can be done?

 

[cherylsarah01]

So....why not offer Dad ONE extra revolving holiday?

Compromise.

Got no problem doing that, like what though?

 

[LdiJ]

So really it can't be added, it would be a lost cause is what I am reading?

Two years ago it was my turn, going by status quo at the time of every other year, to have her and because it fell on my week no real need to discuss.

Last year they fell on his weeks so no real need to discuss. But now he will have her for those holidays for the next 6 years. Is it not in the child's best interest to switch off?

For all those years before they fell on my week but we switched off years and now there is nothing really that can be done?

I disagree with some of the responses you received here. It does NOT require a change in circumstances to ask for a modification of the holiday schedule, and its not unreasonable to ask for two holidays to be included that were excluded in the past orders.

If these holidays are important to you, then by all means, file for a modification of the holiday schedule to include them.

 

[mistoffolees]

I disagree with some of the responses you received here. It does NOT require a change in circumstances to ask for a modification of the holiday schedule, and its not unreasonable to ask for two holidays to be included that were excluded in the past orders.

I know it's like talking to the wall, but would you care to provide evidence to back up your claim that a change of circumstances is not needed? Start by reading the link I provided in post #8.

If these holidays are important to you, then by all means, file for a modification of the holiday schedule to include them.

Just be aware that:
1. You may be wasting your time without a change of circumstances
2. You may end up paying your ex's legal expenses
3. Even if you don't end up paying ex's legal expenses, you'll have a great deal of time and money invested in making a change over AT MOST 2 days a year (since some of the days in the future will probably be hers, anyway).
4. Realize that if you file to grab these two days that it may destroy any chance of a co-parenting relationship on other more important issues in the future.
5. And even if you're willing to risk all of that, the judge may not agree to a change.

Seems like a lot of hassle, pain, and expense for a couple of days a year.

Sure, it's cute to see little kids wake up to their Easter basket or go out trick-or-treating, but in the grand scheme of things, it's just not that big a deal. Both of those holidays can be worked around, anyway:

Easter - pack your own Easter basket and leave it out when the kid is with you. Tell him/her that the Easter bunny made a special trip for him/her. Take them to Palm Sunday (or another) religious service before or after Easter.

Halloween - most kids wear their Halloween costumes several times. If you really must see him/her in his/her superhero or fairy costume, go to the school Halloween party. Or take the kid to the mall when they have trick-or-treating. And so on.

Molehill ---->>> Mountain

 

[LdiJ]

I know it's like talking to the wall, but would you care to provide evidence to back up your claim that a change of circumstances is not needed? Start by reading the link I provided in post #8.



Just be aware that:
1. You may be wasting your time without a change of circumstances
2. You may end up paying your ex's legal expenses
3. Even if you don't end up paying ex's legal expenses, you'll have a great deal of time and money invested in making a change over AT MOST 2 days a year (since some of the days in the future will probably be hers, anyway).
4. Realize that if you file to grab these two days that it may destroy any chance of a co-parenting relationship on other more important issues in the future.
5. And even if you're willing to risk all of that, the judge may not agree to a change.

Seems like a lot of hassle, pain, and expense for a couple of days a year.

Sure, it's cute to see little kids wake up to their Easter basket or go out trick-or-treating, but in the grand scheme of things, it's just not that big a deal. Both of those holidays can be worked around, anyway:

Easter - pack your own Easter basket and leave it out when the kid is with you. Tell him/her that the Easter bunny made a special trip for him/her. Take them to Palm Sunday (or another) religious service before or after Easter.

Halloween - most kids wear their Halloween costumes several times. If you really must see him/her in his/her superhero or fairy costume, go to the school Halloween party. Or take the kid to the mall when they have trick-or-treating. And so on.

Molehill ---->>> Mountain

Misto, modifiying a visitation schedule is different than modifying a minor portion of it. I also don't think that the website you quoted would necessarily be considered "authority".

In addition, who are you to determine what is or isn't important to someone else?

I also hardly think that its going to destroy a coparenting relationship to add two other holidays to the rotating holiday schedule.

 

[mistoffolees]

Misto, modifiying a visitation schedule is different than modifying a minor portion of it. I also don't think that the website you quoted would necessarily be considered "authority".

Infinitely more authority than anything you have ever provided.

But feel free to provide evidence that I'm wrong.

In addition, who are you to determine what is or isn't important to someone else?

I'm not.

Read what I said. I told OP that if she wants to proceed with filing to change, she needs to be aware of the possible consequences.

I also hardly think that its going to destroy a coparenting relationship to add two other holidays to the rotating holiday schedule.

You don't think someone's going to be ticked off by being dragged into court and forced to hire an attorney over a trivial matter?

It's not the holidays that are the issue. Simply asking if they can talk about it isn't likely to ruin the co-parenting relationship. But actually filing for a hearing to change it? Yep. That's going to be a serious matter for most people.