What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY
Hello, I am in school admin in a small religious private school without any therapists or nurses on staff. Recently I had to deal with a 12yo boy who could not stop crying. I found out that he has had this problem for about 2 years. He does not do hw, gets in trouble, stops listening to teachers, starts crying when teachers say they'll call parents and disturbs his class with crying for a long time. He is also known for lying even without apparent profit, being attracted to death and violence. Two weeks ago during a fire drill he told some 4yearolds that they will burn up and really scared them. For two years the school has been calling his parents for every incident and recommending that the boy get evaluated for special services. For two years the parents have refused to give consent.
After I brought the crying boy to the school office last week and consulted the principal and before finding out full prior history, I formulated a plan with principals approval to help the child deal with his problems, such as developing routines and systems of rewards and consequences. We decided to involve the parents so the plan could be consistent both in school and at home.
I mailed a letter saying that the boy's problems persist, there is a plan which parents should support, the parents should make an appointment to meet with me, teacher and principal to work on the plan, and if they do not, they should either involve professional therapists, transfer out or accept that the problems might go on and lead to suspension/expulsion. I called the parents. The father refused to listen, aggressively defending his right to raise his child the way he wants and questioning why he is not contacted immediately when hw is missed or anything else happens. He did agree to meet, saying he'll come the same day in the afternoon, or call to reschedule.
Within minutes, the mother showed up in school demanding to talk to the principal and telling the school first to mind our own business and then be harder on the boy who is a manipulative liar.
She reiterated the same to me, adding that they want weekly progress reports from the teacher. I explained that indeed the teacher has a plan, gave her a copy of the letter and the boy's notes with plans, and added that we are now more concerned with his inability to stop crying. Her response was that she does not know why this happens and that they are responsible parents and don't lay a finger on him. She promised to make an appointment so we could all meet together, then (without permission) went to her child's class and went over this all with the teacher.
The next day I reminded them about the appointment and we discussed schedules with mom. Morning after that, father called and told the principal that they do not want this meeting.
Meanwhile, I've been finding out about the boy's history from his prior teachers. A witness has stepped forward and said that two years ago she saw the boy getting hit by dad but her report was dismissed. Several teachers warned me about the father, telling me that I am in danger, although they were only conveying their impressions, not facts.
I am not sure how to proceed. Without parental consent, we cannot request a psychological evaluation for the boy from our school district. I am not trained to recognize signs of abuse or neglect, or see that fine line between reasonable suspicion and false report. I need to know what are my duties here.
Hello, I am in school admin in a small religious private school without any therapists or nurses on staff. Recently I had to deal with a 12yo boy who could not stop crying. I found out that he has had this problem for about 2 years. He does not do hw, gets in trouble, stops listening to teachers, starts crying when teachers say they'll call parents and disturbs his class with crying for a long time. He is also known for lying even without apparent profit, being attracted to death and violence. Two weeks ago during a fire drill he told some 4yearolds that they will burn up and really scared them. For two years the school has been calling his parents for every incident and recommending that the boy get evaluated for special services. For two years the parents have refused to give consent.
After I brought the crying boy to the school office last week and consulted the principal and before finding out full prior history, I formulated a plan with principals approval to help the child deal with his problems, such as developing routines and systems of rewards and consequences. We decided to involve the parents so the plan could be consistent both in school and at home.
I mailed a letter saying that the boy's problems persist, there is a plan which parents should support, the parents should make an appointment to meet with me, teacher and principal to work on the plan, and if they do not, they should either involve professional therapists, transfer out or accept that the problems might go on and lead to suspension/expulsion. I called the parents. The father refused to listen, aggressively defending his right to raise his child the way he wants and questioning why he is not contacted immediately when hw is missed or anything else happens. He did agree to meet, saying he'll come the same day in the afternoon, or call to reschedule.
Within minutes, the mother showed up in school demanding to talk to the principal and telling the school first to mind our own business and then be harder on the boy who is a manipulative liar.
She reiterated the same to me, adding that they want weekly progress reports from the teacher. I explained that indeed the teacher has a plan, gave her a copy of the letter and the boy's notes with plans, and added that we are now more concerned with his inability to stop crying. Her response was that she does not know why this happens and that they are responsible parents and don't lay a finger on him. She promised to make an appointment so we could all meet together, then (without permission) went to her child's class and went over this all with the teacher.
The next day I reminded them about the appointment and we discussed schedules with mom. Morning after that, father called and told the principal that they do not want this meeting.
Meanwhile, I've been finding out about the boy's history from his prior teachers. A witness has stepped forward and said that two years ago she saw the boy getting hit by dad but her report was dismissed. Several teachers warned me about the father, telling me that I am in danger, although they were only conveying their impressions, not facts.
I am not sure how to proceed. Without parental consent, we cannot request a psychological evaluation for the boy from our school district. I am not trained to recognize signs of abuse or neglect, or see that fine line between reasonable suspicion and false report. I need to know what are my duties here.
