Getting 2 holidays added to existing holiday schedule

[stealth2]

Given that the child is now ~11, trick-or-treating with mommy or daddy is pretty closer to an end - MAYBE one more year, but I'd doubt it, to be honest. I can say that the majority of the kids I know (my own included), would forego ToTing by 10/11/12 if they had to go with a parent. Halloween is a non-starter, IMO, unless one of the parents considers it a religious holiday (and some do). But... that doesn't seem to be the case here.

So we're really talking about one holiday - Easter. Which, to be honest, if it was as important a holiday as the ones that ARE listed in the order, I have to wonder why it wasn't included in the first place. What has changed? Is this really a hill to die on?

 

[LdiJ]

Infinitely more authority than anything you have ever provided.

But feel free to provide evidence that I'm wrong.



I'm not.

Read what I said. I told OP that if she wants to proceed with filing to change, she needs to be aware of the possible consequences.



You don't think someone's going to be ticked off by being dragged into court and forced to hire an attorney over a trivial matter?

It's not the holidays that are the issue. Simply asking if they can talk about it isn't likely to ruin the co-parenting relationship. But actually filing for a hearing to change it? Yep. That's going to be a serious matter for most people.[/QUOTE]

Not if they are smart enough to settle it. Anybody who doesn't agree to settle out a smaller matter that the other parent files for (particularly if its as reasonable as adding some holidays to alternate) is causing their own problems.

 

[cherylsarah01]

Given that the child is now ~11, trick-or-treating with mommy or daddy is pretty closer to an end - MAYBE one more year, but I'd doubt it, to be honest. I can say that the majority of the kids I know (my own included), would forego ToTing by 10/11/12 if they had to go with a parent. Halloween is a non-starter, IMO, unless one of the parents considers it a religious holiday (and some do). But... that doesn't seem to be the case here.

So we're really talking about one holiday - Easter. Which, to be honest, if it was as important a holiday as the ones that ARE listed in the order, I have to wonder why it wasn't included in the first place. What has changed? Is this really a hill to die on?

She just turned 10 in July but this isn't for me it's for the child. I hear what you are saying but don't for one minute make it about me. Halloween happens to be a big deal in my neighborhood for kids and adults and the things that go on only happen on Halloween night. Those two holidays are some of the favorites of my kids. I can understand that I can do an early Easter, except for church services.

Furthermore, what used to be switched back and forth he now won't talk about it periord. He knows darn well that he has them for years, believe me he figured it out.

What has changed is it used to be switched back and forth and now it is not. As far as a cooparenting situation, we haven't had one in years not even with classes/counseling. He is very high and mighty on himself and even though he was in court for domestic violence had the nerve to tell the mediator and judge he is a better parent when most people would feel some shame in what they did.

He said no way in hell they are mine it's not negotiable. What am I sapposed to do with that?

 

[InfantCustody]

How do the holidays end up being dad's for the next 6 years? What is your custody schedule?

 

[mistoffolees]

She just turned 10 in July but this isn't for me it's for the child. I hear what you are saying but don't for one minute make it about me. Halloween happens to be a big deal in my neighborhood for kids and adults and the things that go on only happen on Halloween night. Those two holidays are some of the favorites of my kids. I can understand that I can do an early Easter, except for church services.

So you're claiming that there's no Trick or Treat in Dad's neighborhood? Yours is the only neighborhood around which has Trick or Treat? If it's about the kids, it doesn't matter whether it's in your neighborhood or Dad's. Period.

Furthermore, the kid is 10. Another couple of years and you're not going to be involved in Trick or Treat, anyway. Most kids at around 12 or 13 either give it up or simply grab a pillowcase and go out with their friends to extort candy from the neighbors. They can do that at Dad's house, too.

If it really is for the kids, drop it now. They can celebrate at either place and getting into a legal battle with their Dad isn't going to do them any favors.

Furthermore, what used to be switched back and forth he now won't talk about it periord. He knows darn well that he has them for years, believe me he figured it out.

What has changed is it used to be switched back and forth and now it is not.

Sorry, but that's not a legal change of circumstances - or at least not enough to convince a judge to reopen your parenting plan.

As far as a cooparenting situation, we haven't had one in years not even with classes/counseling. He is very high and mighty on himself and even though he was in court for domestic violence had the nerve to tell the mediator and judge he is a better parent when most people would feel some shame in what they did.

Sounds like he's not the only one. You're insisting that you're the only one who can give the kids a good Halloween and Easter experience. If that isn't 'high and mighty on yourself', I don't know what is. The fact that he thinks he's a good parent is irrelevant, too.

Please view this - and think about the phrase:
Does it Take two to Tango? - GEICO Commercial - YouTube

Oh, and let me guess. You are the one who filed the DV complaint and it was dropped for lack of evidence, right?

He said no way in hell they are mine it's not negotiable. What am I sapposed to do with that?

How do the holidays end up being dad's for the next 6 years? What is your custody schedule?

I already asked that and OP has refused to answer.

 

[cherylsarah01]

So you're claiming that there's no Trick or Treat in Dad's neighborhood? Yours is the only neighborhood around which has Trick or Treat? If it's about the kids, it doesn't matter whether it's in your neighborhood or Dad's. Period.

Nope of course not but they don't believe in Halloween it comes from the devil and don't do trick or treating. I don't care but the child does. The child cares about this holiday.

Furthermore, the kid is 10. Another couple of years and you're not going to be involved in Trick or Treat, anyway. Most kids at around 12 or 13 either give it up or simply grab a pillowcase and go out with their friends to extort candy from the neighbors. They can do that at Dad's house, too.

If it really is for the kids, drop it now. They can celebrate at either place and getting into a legal battle with their Dad isn't going to do them any favors.

So because you say drop it now, you are the final word, really? I don't want a legal battle, I would like for it to go on as it has been for the last 7 years.

Sorry, but that's not a legal change of circumstances - or at least not enough to convince a judge to reopen your parenting plan.

In your opinion. Ok

Sounds like he's not the only one. You're insisting that you're the only one who can give the kids a good Halloween and Easter experience. If that isn't 'high and mighty on yourself', I don't know what is. The fact that he thinks he's a good parent is irrelevant, too.

Yeah I guess I am insisting what has always been done, shame on me.

Please view this - and think about the phrase:
Does it Take two to Tango? - GEICO Commercial - YouTube

Oh, and let me guess. You are the one who filed the DV complaint and it was dropped for lack of evidence, right?

You really are an idiot here making assumtions. His wife had to go to the emergency and the doctor being a mandated reporter called the police. The police went to his home and arrested him. He was charged with the dv by the DA. He did a little jail time, fines, a 52 week anger management class and is now on probation for 5 years. And all of his domestic violence was in front of the child.

And by the way I took him back to court after this incident on the advice of the posters on this forum

I already asked that and OP has refused to answer.

When did I refuse? I actually said that. It's one week on and one week off

 

[LdiJ]

When did I refuse? I actually said that. It's one week on and one week off

cherylsarah, I completely disagree with Misto on this one and quite frankly don't understand why he is being so insistant with his personal opinions.

If those holidays are important to you and the children, then by all means take it to court for a modification of the holiday schedule to include those holidays.

 

[Mnemosyne]

Nope of course not but they don't believe in Halloween it comes from the devil and don't do trick or treating.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Yeah, he gets way too much credit.

 

[mistoffolees]

cherylsarah, I completely disagree with Misto on this one and quite frankly don't understand why he is being so insistant with his personal opinions.

For the same reason you are so insistent with your personal opinions. I think I'm right.

The difference, of course, is that I provide evidence and logical reasoning to back up my position.

If those holidays are important to you and the children, then by all means take it to court for a modification of the holiday schedule to include those holidays.

Where did I say she shouldn't do that?

I simply pointed out that there are consequences - and the consequences could be substantially worse than the benefit.

You see, unlike you, I don't believe in running off half-****ed. Evaluate options first, THEN act. And if it's not a big deal but has significant downside, DON'T act.

 

[cherylsarah01]

cherylsarah, I completely disagree with Misto on this one and quite frankly don't understand why he is being so insistant with his personal opinions.

If those holidays are important to you and the children, then by all means take it to court for a modification of the holiday schedule to include those holidays.

Thank you I appreciate your being reasonable and not just because it is the answer I wanted to hear. I have asked plenty of questions here and did not get the answer I was hoping for and have had to let an issue go.

As far as Misto goes, it's ok. I have skulked around here for years and know what to expect at times from certain people. It's the chance you take posting here.

 

[mistoffolees]

So because you say drop it now, you are the final word, really? I don't want a legal battle, I would like for it to go on as it has been for the last 7 years.

The rolling stones-You can't always get what you want - YouTube

You don't have a choice. If you can't get ex to agree, then you have to either drop it or you have a legal battle. You don't get to wave your magic wand and make everything turn out the way you want.

So choose. Are the two days important enough to you to justify all the downsides I cited? If so, go ahead and file. If not, drop it.

BTW, did you actually TRY to compromise? Did you, for example, offer him additional time in exchange?

Sorry, but that's not a legal change of circumstances - or at least not enough to convince a judge to reopen your parenting plan.

In your opinion. Ok

Yep. Based on infinitely more experience than you have. Not to mention that while Ldij was telling you that you don't need a change of circumstances, I provided evidence that you do. So who is more credible?

Yeah I guess I am insisting what has always been done, shame on me.[/B]

Yes, shame on you. You're insisting on something that you have no control over. There's a court order that specifies how the time is to be allocated and you don't like it, so you're stomping your foot and demanding that ex do things your way. And the fact that he wants to stick to the court order is not good enough for you. Your desires outweigh any of his rights.

BTW, you're divorced. Insisting that everything will remain the way it always was is pretty unrealistic. Not to mention selfish.

 

[cherylsarah01]

For the same reason you are so insistent with your personal opinions. I think I'm right.

The difference, of course, is that I provide evidence and logical reasoning to back up my position.

I'm not seeing your logical reasoning on this one, IMO.

Where did I say she shouldn't do that?

I simply pointed out that there are consequences - and the consequences could be substantially worse than the benefit.

You see, unlike you, I don't believe in running off half-****ed. Evaluate options first, THEN act. And if it's not a big deal but has significant downside, DON'T act.

You have gone off running half-****ed on this one Misto.

The significate downside is the child not getting to share these holidays between the two parents, as it always has been in the past setting status quo. I can back this up too with evidence.

 

[mistoffolees]

You have gone off running half-****ed on this one Misto.

The significate downside is the child not getting to share these holidays between the two parents, as it always has been in the past setting status quo. I can back this up too with evidence.

Sorry, but you're delusional.

First, how are you going to prove that the child is going to be harmed because he can't go trick-or-treating with you on Halloween? There's not a chance in the world of winning that one.

Second, I've already pointed out the very significant things you have to consider before filing for a change of visitation. Go ahead and ignore them, but please don't come back here whining when nothing changes and you're stuck with $5,000 of legal bills for filing a frivolous complaint.

 

[cherylsarah01]

The rolling stones-You can't always get what you want - YouTube

You don't have a choice. If you can't get ex to agree, then you have to either drop it or you have a legal battle. You don't get to wave your magic wand and make everything turn out the way you want.

So choose. Are the two days important enough to you to justify all the downsides I cited? If so, go ahead and file. If not, drop it.

BTW, did you actually TRY to compromise? Did you, for example, offer him additional time in exchange?



Yep. Based on infinitely more experience than you have. Not to mention that while Ldij was telling you that you don't need a change of circumstances, I provided evidence that you do. So who is more credible?



Yes, shame on you. You're insisting on something that you have no control over. There's a court order that specifies how the time is to be allocated and you don't like it, so you're stomping your foot and demanding that ex do things your way. And the fact that he wants to stick to the court order is not good enough for you. Your desires outweigh any of his rights.

BTW, you're divorced. Insisting that everything will remain the way it always was is pretty unrealistic. Not to mention selfish.

You are irresponsible on this one and quite frankly run your mouth half-****ed. You have no interest in the child's well being do you? Shame on me, shame on you Misto for taking what has always been for the child, AFTER EX AND I DIVORCED, and making it a three ring circus. Get it through your thick skull, I don't want a court battle I would like for it to be discussed reasonbly between us parents to coparent but no coparenting has happened for years due to his wife not allowing conversation to happen in order for the two parents to be able to coparent and come to some terms for the child's best interest.

No comment again about how I called DV on him?

Please view this - and think about the phrase:
Does it Take two to Tango? - GEICO Commercial - YouTube

Instead of this nonsense above how about Oprah's Life Class on OWN. I recommend it highly for you.