Ex refuses to communicate

[cwmayhem]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL
to give a little background, I have been divorced for over 3 years and have 2 children. Ex is now engaged and has decided that he no longer has use for me (not that I care except when it is in regards to parenting).
He is now engaged and actually stated that he probably won't even invite the kids to the wedding.
My ex refuses to communicate. I am custodial parent. I have repeatedly emailed him regarding doctor visits, daycare, etc. (I have over 150 emails just in the last 2 years.) 90% of the time, he does not respond to emails (we cannot talk at all without fighting, so emails are our only form of communication). I have tried everything. Now he has an attorney who likes to file ridiculous motions. In discovery she demanded every email I sent regarding doctor appointments. I complied and my attorney requested his responses to emails (I have filed for sole legal custody so this is important, we feel). He had none and his attorney wrote on the bottom of every single copy of my emails that I am making unilateral medical decisions.
So I tried to get him involved and requested a list of doctors for a specific problem our son has. It is now over 5 months later and I am still waiting.
My attorney filed for mediation, which we just completed. He lied to mediator and stated there was a list sent (I checked with my attorney's office and none was sent, just a nasty letter from his attorney.) In mediation, ex stated he was not ready to agree to anything, so nothing was accomplished. He told the mediator that he just pretends like I don't exist.
It is extremely difficult to parent like this.
Does anyone have an idea given this extreme lack of communication what my chances are of gaining sole legal custody? Our children cannot wait months for ex to decide that he wants to respond to an email, and when he does it is nasty and does not answer original question anyway.
Thank you in advance for your response.

 

[Mamabear91399]

If your x wont respond in regard to the childrens welfare then HE is givng you no choice but to act unilaterally and you have proof of that so please don't wait for a response you know you'll never get. No one can fault you that. His lawyer is making money and doesn't care about what is frivilous.

 

[stealth2]

If your x wont respond in regard to the childrens welfare then HE is givng you no choice but to act unilaterally and you have proof of that so please don't wait for a response you know you'll never get. No one can fault you that. His lawyer is making money and doesn't care about what is frivilous.

A better way of handling it is to provide the information and request a response w/in a reasonable period of time (10 days? 15?), and that if there is no response forthcoming at that point, you will proceed as you find to be best for the child. Just acting unilaterally based on past situations may not be the best decision.

 

[mistoffolees]

A better way of handling it is to provide the information and request a response w/in a reasonable period of time (10 days? 15?), and that if there is no response forthcoming at that point, you will proceed as you find to be best for the child. Just acting unilaterally based on past situations may not be the best decision.

Agreed. Unless there's a reason why a decision must be made immediately, that is a much better approach.

And if it's a situation where a decision MUST be made immediately, give him a call and ask for his input. If he refuses, tell him what you are going to do.

 

[stealth2]

And if it's a situation where a decision MUST be made immediately, give him a call and ask for his input. If he refuses, tell him what you are going to do.

And follow up with an email.

 

[LdiJ]

A better way of handling it is to provide the information and request a response w/in a reasonable period of time (10 days? 15?), and that if there is no response forthcoming at that point, you will proceed as you find to be best for the child. Just acting unilaterally based on past situations may not be the best decision.

I agree with this...you word it somewhere along the lines of:

If I do not receive an email response from you by XXX date, with an alternate proposal, I am going to assume that you are in agreement and will proceed with XXX action.

Base the amount of time you give him to respond, on the particular situation at hand. 10-15 days may be too long in some instances.

That way if he does not respond, or only responds with a nasty gram that doesn't address the issue, you are covered.