thinking about a divorce but dont have the money to get one.

[carrie_cron]

My husband wants a divorce, i dont, but he has pushed me too the limit. He has been committing adultery. Continues to go on websites and meet other women. I have all the websites, (his username and passwords) and have seen his requests to meet with them. I have no job right now and he wants to leave me. we have 2 kids one. one is 20 years old and lives with her boyfriend, our son is 18 and in college right now. my husband wants to leave me and leave us high and dry. he says he is going to turn off the electricity, and phones, knowing i am not working and says he is not going to pay for anything or anyone (including me and the kids). my question is can i file for a divorce and have him pay for it.

 

[LdiJ]

My husband wants a divorce, i dont, but he has pushed me too the limit. He has been committing adultery. Continues to go on websites and meet other women. I have all the websites, (his username and passwords) and have seen his requests to meet with them. I have no job right now and he wants to leave me. we have 2 kids one. one is 20 years old and lives with her boyfriend, our son is 18 and in college right now. my husband wants to leave me and leave us high and dry. he says he is going to turn off the electricity, and phones, knowing i am not working and says he is not going to pay for anything or anyone (including me and the kids). my question is can i file for a divorce and have him pay for it.

You need a consult with a local attorney. Try to get that done first thing Monday.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Find a boyfriend also. It will give you a happier, more secure future.

 

[mistoffolees]

You need a consult with a local attorney. Try to get that done first thing Monday.

Call around. Many attorneys offer free consultations. Or, it may be possible to get an order to have an attorney paid by your husband. Is there much in the way of assets? What kind of income does he have?

Now, as to the rest. If you file for divorce, he will not be able to shut off the power without finding himself in contempt of court. As soon as divorce is filed, there is a default order which prohibits one party from hiding assets. It generally will also prevent them from cutting off utilities. Even if it's not in the order, you could go to court to get an emergency order for him to have it turned back on at his expense.

He may have to pay alimony, but since you didn't tell us your state, it's impossible to say.

The women? Two issues. First, proving that he contacted them on the web and even that he offered to meet with them isn't proof of adultery. Second, in many cases, you're better off with a no-fault divorce than with having to prove adultery. Again, your attorney can guide you.

Find a boyfriend also. It will give you a happier, more secure future.

Please ignore OHRW. The only thing that's going to give you a happy, secure future is getting a job and becoming independent.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Actually, there was a reason I said to do that. Hubby is treating her like trash. If she were to get a boyfriend, it might be hubby back in line and make him realize how much he cares about her.

 

[ecmst12]

That's the worst advice I've heard in a long time. Even here.

 

[Free_Advice]

The OP needs legal consul .. it can range from expensive to super-expensive.

Why are divorces expensive? 'Cause they are worth it.

The OP does not want a divorce & the hubby has not filed so start squirreling away $$ now for a future attny.

No need to run off to a lawyer just yet; get copies of financial docs and keep them outside of your house, a friends/relative's house.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

The OP needs legal consul .. it can range from expensive to super-expensive.
Why are divorces expensive? 'Cause they are worth it.
The OP does not want a divorce & the hubby has not filed so start squirreling away $$ now for a future attny.
No need to run off to a lawyer just yet; get copies of financial docs and keep them outside of your house, a friends/relative's house.

OP hubby has cut off the flow of money. If OP makes a strategic move, by getting a boyfriend, she has a possible opening for hubby to get jealous and want reconciliation. That would give her access to money again. If OP does nothing, she has no chance. If OP gets a job, she will need to save up in addition to paying her own bills. If she gets a job and reconciles, she will be the best position to dump him.

 

[Isis1]

OP hubby has cut off the flow of money. If OP makes a strategic move, by getting a boyfriend, she has a possible opening for hubby to get jealous and want reconciliation. That would give her access to money again. If OP does nothing, she has no chance. If OP gets a job, she will need to save up in addition to paying her own bills. If she gets a job and reconciles, she will be the best position to dump him.

you've been hitting that wacky weed again, haven't you?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Nope, just a novel approach to a no win scenario. She owes her hubby no loyalty after what he has done to her. If she can manipulate him into giving her what she deserves, more power to her.

 

[mistoffolees]

Actually, there was a reason I said to do that. Hubby is treating her like trash. If she were to get a boyfriend, it might be hubby back in line and make him realize how much he cares about her.

OTOH, she could just end up with TWO guys who treat her like trash. Or one of them who kills her. Don't offer stupid advice.

The OP needs legal consul .. it can range from expensive to super-expensive.

Not at all. They can even be free in some cases.

But even when they cost a lot of money, in many cases, a divorce with an attorney is a better deal in the end.

Why are divorces expensive? 'Cause they are worth it.

The OP does not want a divorce & the hubby has not filed so start squirreling away $$ now for a future attny.

No need to run off to a lawyer just yet;

Depends. If she wants a divorce, she should contact an attorney. Even if she's not sure, many attorneys will give a free consultation so it may make sense to go talk to an attorney just so she knows what her rights are.

get copies of financial docs and keep them outside of your house, a friends/relative's house.

That may be the first intelligent advice you've offered in months.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I wasn't thinking of a keeper. As I said, just a way to manipulate the hubby. I don't think it is a stupid strategy. It may not work, however, it also might. I will continue to defend the strategy as long as it is under attack. Otherwise, it has been said and that is all that is needed. I have recovered hundreds of thousands, in stolen money, by thinking out of the box.

 

[Free_Advice]

That may be the first intelligent advice you've offered in months.

Thanks, I knew you were my biggest cheerleader ! Goooo Team !