What are my options?

[Lucke13]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

NCP notified me that he wanted to exercise his visitation over Thanksgiving holidays. He gave me 30 days notice; Court Order states that he's to give 90 days notice. Visitation is to take place in Texas.

He wants to meet half way between TX and CA, however I have already made plans (since I had not heard from him) and do not want to spend 4 days of Thanksgiving week driving, nor do the kids.

My children are 11 and 9, and I believe they are old enough to fly. He does not want them to fly. So we seem to be at an impasse.

What are my options? Do I have to drive them?

Other info - the court order states that we split the cost of transportation.

 

[InfantCustody]

Does your court order state how tranportation is to be shared or how the children will be transported? By car, by plane, by train? Meeting half way?

If the court order does not specify, tell dad he needs to get the children from you, and you will get them home. Then purchase airline tickets for their return flight home. At 11 and 9, they are more than old enough to fly...

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Does your court order state how tranportation is to be shared or how the children will be transported? By car, by plane, by train? Meeting half way?

If the court order does not specify, tell dad he needs to get the children from you, and you will get them home. Then purchase airline tickets for their return flight home. At 11 and 9, they are more than old enough to fly...

Ditto here. Do not refuse visitation based on a technicality when he lives so far away. That is rotten. Let him come to the conclusion that long holidays and summer are best to do these things. It won't take long.

 

[snuffleupagus]

If the court order does not specify, tell dad he needs to get the children from you, and you will get them home. Then purchase airline tickets for their return flight home. At 11 and 9, they are more than old enough to fly...

Ditto here. Do not refuse visitation based on a technicality when he lives so far away. That is rotten. Let him come to the conclusion that long holidays and summer are best to do these things. It won't take long.

How do you propose OP ensure the children are on the plane? Unless specified in the order, Dad is under no obligation to facilitate that.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I think you are taking things to the extreme now. Coparenting requires give and take. If dad refuses to put them on a plane at the local airport, he really did not want to see them. Actually, based on your logic, how do we know he is not going to keep them and sneak them over the border into Mexico, so he can hide in a small, isolated village until they turn 18.

How do you propose OP ensure the children are on the plane? Unless specified in the order, Dad is under no obligation to facilitate that.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

NCP notified me that he wanted to exercise his visitation over Thanksgiving holidays. He gave me 30 days notice; Court Order states that he's to give 90 days notice. Visitation is to take place in Texas.

He wants to meet half way between TX and CA, however I have already made plans (since I had not heard from him) and do not want to spend 4 days of Thanksgiving week driving, nor do the kids.

My children are 11 and 9, and I believe they are old enough to fly. He does not want them to fly. So we seem to be at an impasse.

What are my options? Do I have to drive them?

Other info - the court order states that we split the cost of transportation.

Technically you are not required to allow him the visit at all since he was supposed to give you 90 days notice and he only gave you 30. However, I kind of think that 90 days notice is a bit of an unreasonable order, unless there were specific reasons for it.

If you are willing to honor the visit with only 30 days notice you can certainly insist that he work around your plans, since you already have plans. Obviously he cannot drive all the way to CA to pick them up and return them, because it would take the entire Thanksgiving break to do that.

So, if I were in your shoes, I would be telling dad: "You were supposed to give me 90 days notice and you only gave me 30. I am still willing for the children to spend Thanksgiving with you despite the fact that I made plans after not hearing from you, but I am not going to dump all of my own plans to spend the entire break driving to meet you half way. So if you want them, you are going to have to arrange plane tickets and I will reimburse you for 1/2 of them."

Then leave it up to dad. You cannot be held in contempt if dad doesn't get the visit, because he didn't give you 90 days notice.

 

[snuffleupagus]

I think you are taking things to the extreme now. Coparenting requires give and take. If dad refuses to put them on a plane at the local airport, he really did not want to see them. Actually, based on your logic, how do we know he is not going to keep them and sneak them over the border into Mexico, so he can hide in a small, isolated village until they turn 18.

He's not necessarily obligated to coparent. Again - how do you and IC propose OP ensure Dad DOES get them to the airport/gate? I've been in that situation. Have you?

 

[Lucke13]

Thank you for the responses. The court order does not specify mode of transportation, only that we share the cost. I am not trying to deny visitation as the kids only see him twice a year, but I don't want to be a doormat either.