Possible Bigamy Charges?

[fight2thedeath]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California. My case is a bit confusing so i'll keep it simple as possible. I filed for divorce in January 2009. My ex and I have 1 son together who is 4 now. We have been in a grueling ongoing custody battle since then. In June 2009 I went back to the court to turn in my income and expense declarations. At that time I asked the clerk when I could change back to my maiden name or re-marry and she said whenever I want. Well, in September 2010 my boyfriend asked me to marry him and I said yes. On Sept 21, 2010 I again went to the court to turn in modification requests for custody and I asked 2 different clerks at the court if I was okay to get married again and they both said yes. I was told I hadn't received final judgement doc's because of the custody battle. So on Sept 28, 2010 my now husband and I were married in Nevada. All was well until I enrolled my son in preschool. My ex threw a fit because he wants our son home schooled. Now I'm being told my divorce wasn't final until June 2011 (5 months ago) and my ex is trying to accuse me of bigamy in order to gain custody of our son. Obviously I didn't intend to commit bigamy. Any thoughts?

 

[fight2thedeath]

Extra info about my situation.

After I filed for the divorce in Jan 09, my ex never responded. He only responded to custody modifications and that was it. He didn't contest the divorce. My now husband is a military man and has been gone on a deployment but is due home very very soon. I have talked to military officials about this situation and they have all said 1 of 2 things needs to happen. A) I need my previous divorce bifurcated or, B) I need to re-marry my husband. (which we are totally prepared to do) They have been helpful and said no one is going to jail or getting kicked out of the military BUT this does need to be fixed. We filed our taxes separately last year so that won't be an issue and there were no hospitalizations, surgeries or anything dramatic that would require huge payback amounts so we aren't too worried about that either. My main concern is losing my parental rights. Advice is welcomed and appreciated but please keep the criticism constructive

 

[CourtClerk]

I think that had you waited to get married until you had the judgment in hand, you would have CLEARLY seen when your divorce was final.

The building wasn't on fire, they didn't declare a moratorium on weddings. You could have just waited.

You can file a motion in court to have the judgment amended nunc pro tunc and see if a judge will be nice enough to grant it (although it's not the court's problem)... or you simply remarry your husband.

 

[fight2thedeath]

I think that had you waited to get married until you had the judgment in hand, you would have CLEARLY seen when your divorce was final.

The building wasn't on fire, they didn't declare a moratorium on weddings. You could have just waited.

You can file a motion in court to have the judgment amended nunc pro tunc and see if a judge will be nice enough to grant it (although it's not the court's problem)... or you simply remarry your husband.

Thanks for the advice. We are planning to get re-married as soon as he comes home. But, do you think the judge will look at this and declare me an unfit mother? (by the way this is the ONLY possible dirt my ex could have on me. I have never been arrested, never had any dealings with CPS, not a drug user and not a drunk. And I keep an extremely clean house and solely provided medical insurance, shelter, food and clothing for our son. My ex JUST NOW got his own insurance for our son 3 months ago)

 

[CJane]

Thanks for the advice. We are planning to get re-married as soon as he comes home. But, do you think the judge will look at this and declare me an unfit mother? (by the way this is the ONLY possible dirt my ex could have on me. I have never been arrested, never had any dealings with CPS, not a drug user and not a drunk. And I keep an extremely clean house and solely provided medical insurance, shelter, food and clothing for our son. My ex JUST NOW got his own insurance for our son 3 months ago)

No, all by itself, it's not proof that you're unfit.

But one has to wonder why there have been so many filings and modification requests over two years.

 

[fight2thedeath]

No, all by itself, it's not proof that you're unfit.

But one has to wonder why there have been so many filings and modification requests over two years.

Well it's basically like this: We both want our child and he feels like he is the primary custodial parent (neither one of us are. We share physical custody) which I mentioned in the recent declaration and I think once a primary IS established, many of these issues should dissipate. He has basically used our son as a pawn because I left the marriage and it's the only way he CAN hurt me. I know that sounds really accusing but it's very true.

 

[Proserpina]

Well it's basically like this: We both want our child and he feels like he is the primary custodial parent (neither one of us are. We share physical custody) which I mentioned in the recent declaration and I think once a primary IS established, many of these issues should dissipate. He has basically used our son as a pawn because I left the marriage and it's the only way he CAN hurt me. I know that sounds really accusing but it's very true.

Do you think if Dad was here he'd say the same thing about you?

 

[fight2thedeath]

Do you think if Dad was here he'd say the same thing about you?

On some level i'm sure he would. Most ex's hate their former spouse especially if they were the one's who got left (and trust me I had good reasons to go and have been 100% happier without being married to him and in my opinion, a better parent)
In all my modifications I've done my best to be fair. I don't even want sole custody ( I wouldn't turn it down of course) because my son loves his dad and needs him too. But I can't just stand here and let my ex push me out of the picture because he doesn't like me or the fact that i've moved on you know?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California. My case is a bit confusing so i'll keep it simple as possible. I filed for divorce in January 2009. My ex and I have 1 son together who is 4 now. We have been in a grueling ongoing custody battle since then. In June 2009 I went back to the court to turn in my income and expense declarations. At that time I asked the clerk when I could change back to my maiden name or re-marry and she said whenever I want. Well, in September 2010 my boyfriend asked me to marry him and I said yes. On Sept 21, 2010 I again went to the court to turn in modification requests for custody and I asked 2 different clerks at the court if I was okay to get married again and they both said yes. I was told I hadn't received final judgement doc's because of the custody battle. So on Sept 28, 2010 my now husband and I were married in Nevada. All was well until I enrolled my son in preschool. My ex threw a fit because he wants our son home schooled. Now I'm being told my divorce wasn't final until June 2011 (5 months ago) and my ex is trying to accuse me of bigamy in order to gain custody of our son. Obviously I didn't intend to commit bigamy. Any thoughts?

Should we use your ignorant, offensive phraseology against yoU? What was it again? Oh yeah, you are a jerk and a r*****. That was it, right?

oh yeah it was:

Originally Posted by fight2thedeath
He can't legally make you give the baby up for adoption. That requires both of your consents. He can ask for full custody for himself once the baby is born but most judges would look at him like he's a jerk and a retard.

That fits here considering you are a bigamist. A judge will look at you that way for trying to say you didn't know you weren't divorced considering YOU were the one who filed for it. Hmmmm...
Oh sorry, you didn't mean to use that language to offend others right?

Let's start with until you got a divorce decree SIGNED by a judge you were still married. Your ignorance is NOT an excuse for being a bigamist. Your child's father can file a criminal complaint against you and you will face felony charges. Your ex can accuse you of bigamy because you are a BIGAMIST. You committed a felony.

May your child's father take you to court and get custody while you end up in prison. Have a good day, jerk.

 

[Ohiogal]

After I filed for the divorce in Jan 09, my ex never responded. He only responded to custody modifications and that was it. He didn't contest the divorce. My now husband is a military man and has been gone on a deployment but is due home very very soon. I have talked to military officials about this situation and they have all said 1 of 2 things needs to happen. A) I need my previous divorce bifurcated or, B) I need to re-marry my husband. (which we are totally prepared to do) They have been helpful and said no one is going to jail or getting kicked out of the military BUT this does need to be fixed. We filed our taxes separately last year so that won't be an issue and there were no hospitalizations, surgeries or anything dramatic that would require huge payback amounts so we aren't too worried about that either. My main concern is losing my parental rights. Advice is welcomed and appreciated but please keep the criticism constructive

You need to prepare for criminal charges to be filed against you due to the fact that you committed a felony. Your previous divorce is not going to be bifurcated and the court is NOT going to change the date you were legally divorced just so you have not committed a felony. You won't lose your parental rights over this but YOU can very well lose custody.

Keep criticism constructive? I did. As constructive as YOUR criticism in other threads. Got it?

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks for the advice. We are planning to get re-married as soon as he comes home. But, do you think the judge will look at this and declare me an unfit mother? (by the way this is the ONLY possible dirt my ex could have on me. I have never been arrested, never had any dealings with CPS, not a drug user and not a drunk. And I keep an extremely clean house and solely provided medical insurance, shelter, food and clothing for our son. My ex JUST NOW got his own insurance for our son 3 months ago)

You are not an unfit mother but it is hard to parent when you will be in prison. Bigamy is a FELONY. Hence, if you go to prison, your ex gets custody of his son.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well it's basically like this: We both want our child and he feels like he is the primary custodial parent (neither one of us are. We share physical custody) which I mentioned in the recent declaration and I think once a primary IS established, many of these issues should dissipate. He has basically used our son as a pawn because I left the marriage and it's the only way he CAN hurt me. I know that sounds really accusing but it's very true.

And you would NEVER use your son as a pawn. Only your ex would do that, right?

You know what else is true? You committed a felony and can prosecuted for such. Has your ex done that?

 

[Ohiogal]

On some level i'm sure he would. Most ex's hate their former spouse especially if they were the one's who got left (and trust me I had good reasons to go and have been 100% happier without being married to him and in my opinion, a better parent)
In all my modifications I've done my best to be fair. I don't even want sole custody ( I wouldn't turn it down of course) because my son loves his dad and needs him too. But I can't just stand here and let my ex push me out of the picture because he doesn't like me or the fact that i've moved on you know?

And you seem to hate your spouse. Most good parents LOVE THEIR CHILDREN more than they hate their ex. Guess you are not a good parent.

 

[Ohiogal]

I think that had you waited to get married until you had the judgment in hand, you would have CLEARLY seen when your divorce was final.

The building wasn't on fire, they didn't declare a moratorium on weddings. You could have just waited.

You can file a motion in court to have the judgment amended nunc pro tunc and see if a judge will be nice enough to grant it (although it's not the court's problem)... or you simply remarry your husband.

I don't see where this would be a nunc pro tunc. That is used primarily for typographical errors. This was NOT a typographical error. This was a case of OP committing a crime and now wanting to cover her tracks. I don't see a court "correcting" the judgment by divorcing her earlier. I don't even think that is possible as judgments are only good once they have been filed. Which means the nunc pro tunc would come LATER than the original divorce.

 

[LdiJ]

You are not an unfit mother but it is hard to parent when you will be in prison. Bigamy is a FELONY. Hence, if you go to prison, your ex gets custody of his son.

Before you panic based on this response, please get yourself a consult with a local attorney to understand exactly where you stand.

You are no longer a bigamist because you ARE divorced from your prior spouse.