getting a divorce after married one year. Wife wants too much

[danielkuhlman]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

My wife and are getting divorced. We married oct. 16th last year and I left her mid june. I got divorce papers today and she wants $1500 a month alimony, $500 a month child support, and to pay 100% of her lawyers fees. She also wants full custody of our newborn son (born october 12th of this year). I've made barely over 22,000 a year the last three years, and am up the my knees in credit card debt. What's a good counter offer? Oh, she also wants my retirement, wants me to provide her with health, vision, and dental insurance, and to share property. We lived in an apartment for a year, rent was only $465. No shared accounts, no shared property. She's also been employed the entire time. What should I do? Id like split custody and for our son to have my last name, as well.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

My wife and are getting divorced. We married oct. 16th last year and I left her mid june. I got divorce papers today and she wants $1500 a month alimony, $500 a month child support, and to pay 100% of her lawyers fees. She also wants full custody of our newborn son (born october 12th of this year). I've made barely over 22,000 a year the last three years, and am up the my knees in credit card debt. What's a good counter offer? Oh, she also wants my retirement, wants me to provide her with health, vision, and dental insurance, and to share property. We lived in an apartment for a year, rent was only $465. No shared accounts, no shared property. She's also been employed the entire time. What should I do? Id like split custody and for our son to have my last name, as well.

She is nuts. I suggest you get an attorney to help you get through this divorce. I see a war of the Roses, if you will.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

My wife and are getting divorced. We married oct. 16th last year and I left her mid june. I got divorce papers today and she wants $1500 a month alimony, $500 a month child support, and to pay 100% of her lawyers fees. She also wants full custody of our newborn son (born october 12th of this year). I've made barely over 22,000 a year the last three years, and am up the my knees in credit card debt. What's a good counter offer? Oh, she also wants my retirement, wants me to provide her with health, vision, and dental insurance, and to share property. We lived in an apartment for a year, rent was only $465. No shared accounts, no shared property. She's also been employed the entire time. What should I do? Id like split custody and for our son to have my last name, as well.

She is absolutely NOT getting alimony to the tune of $1500/month. She's working, your salary is approaching poverty level and you've been married for a year. Not. Going. To. Happen.

Child support will be calculated according to state guidelines.

Frankly I'd politely tell her to pound sand. And I'd be speaking to a local attorney.

 

[Isis1]

She is nuts. I suggest you get an attorney to help you get through this divorce. I see a war of the Roses, if you will.

i agree. she is out of her cotten picking mind.

 

[danielkuhlman]

Would a cheap local attourmey work? My tax returns from the previous years are low, but will be quite a bit higher this year after working on the railroad. Still... she's got a decent lawyer, would it be beneficial to get an expensive one?

 

[Proserpina]

Would a cheap local attourmey work? My tax returns from the previous years are low, but will be quite a bit higher this year after working on the railroad. Still... she's got a decent lawyer, would it be beneficial to get an expensive one?

Well, obviously can't predict the future. But in your situation, I truly think we can virtually guarantee that she's NOT going to get what she's asking for.

It's COMPLETELY unreasonable.

She's out of her greedy little mind.

Check out the attorney - remember, s/he is working for you. Interview him/er. If s/he feels confident then go for it.

But frankly a flippin' 1L would be able to do this without much effort.

 

[nextwife]

If she has been working the whole time, are you an equal or more caregiver to the baby? You have equal standing to ask for primary, or shared physical custody, especially if it it happens to be the case that you have been doing as much or more baby caregiving.

She is not entitled to any assets you brought to the marriage which remained seperately owned. And certainly not to alimony based on the super, super short marriage and full employment.

 

[Proserpina]

If she has been working the whole time, are you an equal or more caregiver to the baby? You have equal standing to ask for primary, or shared physical custody, especially if it it happens to be the case that you have been doing as much or more baby caregiving.

She is not entitled to any assets you brought to the marriage which remained seperately owned. And certainly not to alimony based on the super, super short marriage and full employment.

Right?! I'll admit, my first thought was of the type which would earn me a time-out if I actually wrote it here.

It kind of rhymed with Pot The Duck.

 

[Ohiogal]

Would a cheap local attourmey work? My tax returns from the previous years are low, but will be quite a bit higher this year after working on the railroad. Still... she's got a decent lawyer, would it be beneficial to get an expensive one?

The price of an attorney does not mean anything quite frankly. Try legal aid.

 

[!CuriousGeorge!]

Alimony thats a laugh ... who are you, howard hughes?

Well, divorces are expensive ... why? 'cause they are worth it!

 

[danielkuhlman]

I provide the better insurance and have bought some clothes and diapers. Her family won't let me see the baby often. They always say "you can come this day, at five thirty". I work on call for the railroad and rarely work first shift. I've only gotten to see him 4 times since he was born, not by my choosing. They refuse to let me take him, her whole family has to be there, as if I'm going to do something to him?

Let me just say, I've got a clean record, I'm in the national guard, and I work full time. No addictions or anything. There's zero cause for them to not let me see him, but it doesn't stop them.

 

[!CuriousGeorge!]

. I work for the railroad

All the live-long-day?
Just to pass the time away?

 

[mistoffolees]

Well, obviously can't predict the future. But in your situation, I truly think we can virtually guarantee that she's NOT going to get what she's asking for.

It's COMPLETELY unreasonable.

She's out of her greedy little mind.

Let me add one thing. The above is the way it SHOULD work. And the way it will work with an attorney. Or, if OP learns the law and does an even decent job of defending himself.

HOWEVER, if OP simply rolls over and plays dead or does something really stupid (such as not responding to court filings, etc), then it's possible. So ALWAYS respond to court filings. Make sure you understand what you're agreeing to. If there's ANY question, see an attorney.

Check out the attorney - remember, s/he is working for you. Interview him/er. If s/he feels confident then go for it.

But frankly a flippin' 1L would be able to do this without much effort.

I agree. The cost of the attorney will probably be a very good investment - even if Legal Aid can't help.

 

[danielkuhlman]

All the live-long-day?
Just to pass the time away?

Unfortunately, that is pretty much true. And having low seniority means working second and third with no set days off. Usually I'm off mondays, but that's never for sure. I already have a good babysitter, though. Not that I've been able to actually use her yet.

One more concern... I'm deploying next june. Will/could that affect the judges decision? As far as custody?

 

[Proserpina]

Unfortunately, that is pretty much true. And having low seniority means working second and third with no set days off. Usually I'm off mondays, but that's never for sure. I already have a good babysitter, though. Not that I've been able to actually use her yet.

One more concern... I'm deploying next june. Will/could that affect the judges decision? As far as custody?

Yeap, that can affect things. It's a big point in Mom's favor (though you will likely retain joint legal custody if you request it). Having physical custody if you're deploying just doesn't make much sense.

Dad, the big thing here is - as misto very wisely counseled - not laying down and playing dead.

If she has an attorney, you need an attorney.