new issues

[Just Blue]

I'M not thats just it he has learned this on his own and has seen and witnessed himself like when his father would show up and see him for a few weeks then all of a sudden disappear from his life he knows hes not stupid or when his wife and i argue and he hears about it thats why he dont like her hes very protective of me or when everyone tells him things about his dad he is smart he knows. my ex has a facebook and only puts stuff about his "other" child but never about our son how do you think that makes him feel? he holds anger an fear an stress an aniety

Lest we forget...post 35 in the first thread:

10-27-2011, 10:07 PM
lilmansmom
Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 78

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmansmom
i guess we will just have to see in court but i do still feel our child should get a say. I have seen many cases and heard about how a judge goes off on the non custodial parent in court about not wanting anything to do with child before and poof all of a sudden he does.. what judge is going to be okay with that? im sure i will not be the only one having a judge tell me what i shoiuld be when his own father has never been there

just a note to thought, yes i do tell my child because he has every right to know what his father has done tohim and clearly he sees it on his own, its detrimental for a child to go back and forth one min his dad wants him one minute he dont that hurts a child.. a judge will see that

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/need-help-565360-p3.html

 

[InfantCustody]

I believe he didn't finish his supervised visits because your son was sick and you didn't want him to go, correct?

If you do not send him for Thanksgiving, when you cancelled the last supervised visit, you can be pretty darm sure the judge is going to be none too thrilled with you. You are going to begin walking a very thin line of losing custody.

Your son shouldn't be your protector. It isn't normal or healthy.

Dad gets Thanksgiving this year. I believe in large part your son is acting the part you want him to fill. When he gets to dad's house and is around the people and the festivities, etc I am certain he will have fun. He is at an age where kids get caught up in the moment and enjoy the time.

The sad part is, he won't be able to come home and tell you about it because he knows you don't want him to enjoy his time with dad. Sad, just sad.

 

[lilmansmom]

Lest we forget...post 35 in the first thread:

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/need-help-565360-p3.html

if he asks ya i do tell him the truth im not going to lie to my son but he sees most of it on his own bc he has gone through this experience also. my son already told him on the phone that he doesnt want to go with him, MY SON told him that, not me he did

and if he really cares he would come to thanksgiving to visit my son without his baggage hanging around. its clear our child dont like her whats gonna happen when he gets his weekend visits and our child is screaming he dont want to go and someone sees it or the cops come and he starts having a panic attack? no judge or anyone in their right mind will think a child should have to go through that

 

[Just Blue]

Whats the point? You don't listen.

 

[lilmansmom]

I believe he didn't finish his supervised visits because your son was sick and you didn't want him to go, correct?

If you do not send him for Thanksgiving, when you cancelled the last supervised visit, you can be pretty darm sure the judge is going to be none too thrilled with you. You are going to begin walking a very thin line of losing custody.

Your son shouldn't be your protector. It isn't normal or healthy.

Dad gets Thanksgiving this year. I believe in large part your son is acting the part you want him to fill. When he gets to dad's house and is around the people and the festivities, etc I am certain he will have fun. He is at an age where kids get caught up in the moment and enjoy the time.

The sad part is, he won't be able to come home and tell you about it because he knows you don't want him to enjoy his time with dad. Sad, just sad.

ya he was sick and the order says he needs to have 3 SUNDAY supervised visits. he only had 2 so my son still dont know him yet and doesnt want to be around him. he wouldnt have stayed the entire vacation anyway bc my son is scared and confused

 

[Just Blue]

ya he was sick and the order says he needs to have 3 SUNDAY supervised visits. he only had 2 so my son still dont know him yet and doesnt want to be around him. he wouldnt have stayed the entire vacation anyway bc my son is scared and confused

But he wasn't sick. You admitted to this. You lied.

 

[CSO286]

and like i said i have tried fostering it, i cant even get him to call or want to stay with him HE DOESNT WANT TO

I am encouraging it our child chooses not to go as much as i tell him to do it i cant make him do somethin he doesnt want to do

You don't let a child make those kinds of choices. That demonstrates horrible parenting on your point.

My child doesn't want to do her homework. She doesn't want to go to the doctor, or get her blood drawn.

She also doesn't want to eat cauliflower.

Doesn't matter. She still has to do those things. I make her because I am her parent and know what is actually good for her in the long run.

It is good for your [mutual] child to have a relationship with both of his parents.

 

[AlmostThere]

no he was standing there when we got into an argument at the store she didnt see him but he was standing there and she proceeded to argue and fight with me, why would a child want to go with a parent when his "wife" does stuff like that in front of him. like i said hes protective of me and cares when people hurt me. we dont get along. and like i said i have tried fostering it, i cant even get him to call or want to stay with him HE DOESNT WANT TO

It took two to fight. It was your job to not argue with her. You open your mouth and say "I would be happy to discuss this with my ex" and walk away. And if she follows you, keep walking, out of the store. Then contact your ex, via lawyer if necessary and say "You wife and I are legal strangers and I will only discuss issues pertaining to our shared child with you. Thank you for your help in this matter."

YOU stayed there and fought with her WHEN YOU KNEW JR WAS THERE. That is your fault. Not hers.

 

[lilmansmom]

You don't let a child make those kinds of choices. That demonstrates horrible parenting on your point.

My child doesn't want to do her homework. She doesn't want to go to the doctor, or get her blood drawn.

She also doesn't want to eat cauliflower.

Doesn't matter. She still has to do those things. I make her because I am her parent and know what is actually good for her in the long run.

It is good for your [mutual] child to have a relationship with both of his parents.

its not though, look at all the problems hes already having and hes only had 2 visits. whats going to happen when he comes for his weekend and our child passes out from screaming and crying? would you make your child go with someone they are terrified of?

 

[AlmostThere]

ya he was sick and the order says he needs to have 3 SUNDAY supervised visits. he only had 2 so my son still dont know him yet and doesnt want to be around him. he wouldnt have stayed the entire vacation anyway bc my son is scared and confused

The father of your child is allowed to visit with him when he is sick. Parenting does not stop when child does not feel well. You arrange the visit, and let dad deal with sick Jr. It's that easy.

 

[CSO286]

if he asks ya i do tell him the truth im not going to lie to my son

Oh, cheese and rice lady!

I don't lie to LittleCSO either, but there are limits on how MUCH truth I divulge. When she asked why her parents are not together, I don't give her the blow-by-blow, I tell her we couldn't get along. She doesn't need every facet of the "truth."

Thsi way, should he decide to re-enter her life, she can form an opinion that--hopefully--isn't totally colored by my own experiences with him.

 

[AlmostThere]

its not though, look at all the problems hes already having and hes only had 2 visits. whats going to happen when he comes for his weekend and our child passes out from screaming and crying? would you make your child go with someone they are terrified of?

You tell child that he is making a mountain out of a mole hill and to calm down. You stay perfectly calm. You tell him well in advance what is going to happen and keep bringing about it in a happy, up beat manner until he calms down over it. THAT IS YOUR JOB.

 

[TheGeekess]

You tell child that he is making a mountain out of a mole hill and to calm down. You stay perfectly calm. You tell him well in advance what is going to happen and keep bringing about it in a happy, up beat manner until he calms down over it. THAT IS YOUR JOB.

But that doesn't fit her AGENDA.

 

[Just Blue]

But that doesn't fit her AGENDA.

No The agenda is to stick it to dad. If the child becomes blanked-up in the process? Oh well...Collateral damage.

 

[gr8rn]

No The agenda is to stick it to dad. If the child becomes blanked-up in the process? Oh well...Collateral damage.

Blue, I really do think you are right. This has to be a troll. No one in their right mind would continue this level of ignorance.