Advice Needed

[Anchorsaway]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My wife and I have been separated for over a year even though in her mind its only been a few months. I have tried many times to get her to come to an agreement about the divorce but she wont. She is making all of these accusations that I committed adultery, that I abused her and that I abandoned my kids. She says that when we go to court that she is going to present all of this crap to the judge. My question is will any of this have any bearing on alimony, child support, custody or visitation since Florida is a no-fault state?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My wife and I have been separated for over a year even though in her mind its only been a few months. I have tried many times to get her to come to an agreement about the divorce but she wont. She is making all of these accusations that I committed adultery, that I abused her and that I abandoned my kids. She says that when we go to court that she is going to present all of this crap to the judge. My question is will any of this have any bearing on alimony, child support, custody or visitation since Florida is a no-fault state?

If you haven't had any contact (or only very little contact) with your children for the period of separation that could have some effect on initial visitation...but not long term.

If you really abused your wife that could possibly (maybe) have some temporary effect on things regarding your children.

However, in general child support is by state formula and those things have no effect on that.

Custody/parenting time is based on the best interest of the children and in general those things you mentioned don't have any effect on that.

Alimony is more subjective but I doubt those things would have much effect on that either.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My wife and I have been separated for over a year even though in her mind its only been a few months. I have tried many times to get her to come to an agreement about the divorce but she wont. She is making all of these accusations that I committed adultery, that I abused her and that I abandoned my kids. She says that when we go to court that she is going to present all of this crap to the judge. My question is will any of this have any bearing on alimony, child support, custody or visitation since Florida is a no-fault state?

So in the last year have you had a girlfriend? Did you sleep with someone other than your wife? Have you been paying child support to your wife? Have you been financially supporting your children? How often have you seen them?

 

[Anchorsaway]

If you haven't had any contact (or only very little contact) with your children for the period of separation that could have some effect on initial visitation...but not long term.

Ok, because she claims because i wasn't around before and now Im leaving again that could have some effect.

If you really abused your wife that could possibly (maybe) have some temporary effect on things regarding your children.

However, in general child support is by state formula and those things have no effect on that.

Custody/parenting time is based on the best interest of the children and in general those things you mentioned don't have any effect on that.

Ok

Alimony is more subjective but I doubt those things would have much effect on that either.

Ok, because to hear her talk she acts as if she could take me for everything I own. Thanks

 

[Anchorsaway]

So in the last year have you had a girlfriend? Did you sleep with someone other than your wife?

I have been dating ppl over the past yr including my wife because I thought about fixing things but changed my mind when I met my current girlfriend.

Have you been paying child support to your wife? Have you been financially supporting your children?

I have been supporting my wife & the kids but I had to lower the support amount recently because my girlfriend & her kids moved in with me and she's in between jobs right now.

How often have you seen them?

I haven't seen my kids in a couple of months because I hate dealing with their mother. We got into a altercation a while back and a protection order was entered against me(big surprise). She started to deny me vistation because she wants me to get counseling first. Which I think she's the one who needs counseling.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have been dating ppl over the past yr including my wife because I thought about fixing things but changed my mind when I met my current girlfriend.

So you are committing adultery.

I have been supporting my wife & the kids but I had to lower the support amount recently because my girlfriend & her kids moved in with me and she's in between jobs right now.

Bad move. That is called dissipation of marital assets. You are supporting YOUR girlfriend and HER children? And therefore aren't providing as much for your actual legal responsibilities? If your wife has an attorney -- or gets an attorney -- expect that attorney to NAIL YOU to the wall for supporting legal strangers instead of your own kids.

I haven't seen my kids in a couple of months because I hate dealing with their mother. We got into a altercation a while back and a protection order was entered against me(big surprise). She started to deny me vistation because she wants me to get counseling first. Which I think she's the one who needs counseling.

She doesn't need counseling. Well maybe she does. But you are the one who walked away from your wife and children. You got into an altercation and she got a protection order? Yep, that will have an impact on visitation. As will the fact that you have not decided you want to see them and they are not worth your effort to see them while you are shacking up with your new lover and her children who you have used as replacements for your actual children.

Legally you have made many errors and your wife is actually correct on some things. Your living situation CAN impact your visitation as can the protection order. It can also impact property distribution (pesky dissipation of marital assets by spending them on your adulterous lover and her kids because she can't support herself) and alimony that you will could be ordered to pay.

 

[Anchorsaway]

So you are committing adultery.

How am I committing adultery when we are SEPARATED?!? I haven't been with my wife in MONTHS! She can't prove it anyway...

Bad move. That is called dissipation of marital assets. You are supporting YOUR girlfriend and HER children? And therefore aren't providing as much for your actual legal responsibilities? If your wife has an attorney -- or gets an attorney -- expect that attorney to NAIL YOU to the wall for supporting legal strangers instead of your own kids.

Again, can't be proven so Im not worried about it....

She doesn't need counseling. Well maybe she does. But you are the one who walked away from your wife and children. You got into an altercation and she got a protection order? Yep, that will have an impact on visitation. As will the fact that you have not decided you want to see them and they are not worth your effort to see them while you are shacking up with your new lover and her children who you have used as replacements for your actual children.

I never said my kids weren't worth the effort. I said I don't like having to go through my wife to see them. She makes it damn near impossible for me.

Legally you have made many errors and your wife is actually correct on some things. Your living situation CAN impact your visitation as can the protection order. It can also impact property distribution (pesky dissipation of marital assets by spending them on your adulterous lover and her kids because she can't support herself) and alimony that you will could be ordered to pay.

My wife isn't getting any alimony we were married for a very short time(thank God) so she won't be getting anything but child support. Who I spend MY money on shouldn't matter in the least. I've moved on and my wife should too instead of making my life a living hell. We had no marital assets. My wife quit her job when we got married and has been a stay at home mom ever since. We kept separate everything. What she needs to do is get a job and a life and leave me & my girlfriend alone.

 

[xylene]

I never said my kids weren't worth the effort. I said I don't like having to go through my wife to see them. She makes it damn near impossible for me.

Get used to it.

You received correct advice from a subject matter expert.

You need to pull you ____ out of your ____ and

I hope you wife figures out that she could get a good advocate...

Do you REALLY think perjury is going to solve your divorce and child support problems?

 

[Proserpina]

How am I committing adultery when we are SEPARATED?!? I haven't been with my wife in MONTHS! She can't prove it anyway...

Again, can't be proven so Im not worried about it....

Er...you're living with your girlfriend. That's pretty solid proof of adultery.

I never said my kids weren't worth the effort. I said I don't like having to go through my wife to see them. She makes it damn near impossible for me.

Oh well.

My wife isn't getting any alimony we were married for a very short time(thank God) so she won't be getting anything but child support.

Don't bank on that.

Who I spend MY money on shouldn't matter in the least. I've moved on and my wife should too instead of making my life a living hell. We had no marital assets. My wife quit her job when we got married and has been a stay at home mom ever since. We kept separate everything. What she needs to do is get a job and a life and leave me & my girlfriend alone.

I believe you may be in for quite a nasty reality check here, buddy.

 

[Ohiogal]

How am I committing adultery when we are SEPARATED?!? I haven't been with my wife in MONTHS! She can't prove it anyway...

You are married and are LIVING with another woman and supporting her because she ain't working.

Again, can't be proven so Im not worried about it....

Subpoena of your bills for the last year, your rental agreement (lease), as well as bank records. She can also subpoena your adulterous lover to come into court and testify regarding her employment history, where she has been living and income. Can be proven.

I never said my kids weren't worth the effort. I said I don't like having to go through my wife to see them. She makes it damn near impossible for me.

And yet you have done crap about it -- such as going to court.

My wife isn't getting any alimony we were married for a very short time(thank God) so she won't be getting anything but child support.

Consider alimony for 1/2 to 1/3 the length of the marriage at least.

Who I spend MY money on shouldn't matter in the least

It is NOT your money. It is marital income until the court determines otherwise.

I've moved on and my wife should too instead of making my life a living hell.

You have a wife. Legally by moving on you have committed adultery and have a paramour. That is fact. You don't get to move on until you are legally divorced.

We had no marital assets.

There is marital income. And every dime you have spent on your adulterous lover is an issue. She -- your wife -- is entitled to HALF -- of the money you have spent on supporting the woman with whom you are having sex and supporting. So let's break it down: rent -- for example -- if it is 800 for a two bedroom apartment -- your wife is entitled to HALF of that money. At least. Every time you ate out with your new sex partner, your wife is entitled to half. Every time you spent money on utilities -- while your new sex partner and her children are in the apartment -- your wife is entitled to half. Should I continue?

My wife quit her job when we got married and has been a stay at home mom ever since. We kept separate everything. What she needs to do is get a job and a life and leave me & my girlfriend alone.

You agreed to your wife quitting her job. You agreed to that arrangement when you continued to support her. You didn't keep SEPARATE ANYTHING. You owe your wife HALF. Your girlfriend? She is an adulterous woman with low morals. You are lucky you don't live in NC or a few other states OR she could be sued for alienation of affection.

Moral: Don't start having sex with someone before the divorce is final. So sad, you're bad.

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh and by the way, I would name your adulterous lover as an intervening party due to the fact that she is screwing you/living with you while you are still married. At which point, your girlfriend's records, including ADDRESS for anything and benefits and income would come into play. She will REGRET sleeping with you and dating you by the time this divorce is done. So much for being a player. You are going to be in dirt.

 

[Banned_Princess]

what a jack... hammer.

 

[Anchorsaway]

You are married and are LIVING with another woman and supporting her because she ain't working.

Subpoena of your bills for the last year, your rental agreement (lease), as well as bank records. She can also subpoena your adulterous lover to come into court and testify regarding her employment history, where she has been living and income. Can be proven.

Like I said not worried about it. Can't be proven.

And yet you have done crap about it -- such as going to court.

What exactly am I going to say? You make it sound as if I have no rights to my children because I choose not to deal with their mother.

Consider alimony for 1/2 to 1/3 the length of the marriage at least.

It is NOT your money. It is marital income until the court determines otherwise.

You have a wife. Legally by moving on you have committed adultery and have a paramour. That is fact. You don't get to move on until you are legally divorced.

There is marital income. And every dime you have spent on your adulterous lover is an issue. She -- your wife -- is entitled to HALF -- of the money you have spent on supporting the woman with whom you are having sex and supporting. So let's break it down: rent -- for example -- if it is 800 for a two bedroom apartment -- your wife is entitled to HALF of that money. At least. Every time you ate out with your new sex partner, your wife is entitled to half. Every time you spent money on utilities -- while your new sex partner and her children are in the apartment -- your wife is entitled to half. Should I continue?

No need to continue. Like I said Im not worried about it. My wife doesn't have any money to afford a lawyer. She's living off of every dime I give to her. My money was and is my money. I had that paycheck long before I met my wife. I have a house not an apartment and I dont see what the big deal is. My wife moved out we're not together anymore. My girlfriend needed a place to stay so she moved in.

You agreed to your wife quitting her job. You agreed to that arrangement when you continued to support her. You didn't keep SEPARATE ANYTHING. You owe your wife HALF. Your girlfriend? She is an adulterous woman with low morals. You are lucky you don't live in NC or a few other states OR she could be sued for alienation of affection.

I didnt agree to her quitting her job. She quit her job to move & marry me. She made that decision on her own. You really shouldn't talk about people you don't know. I guess I will consider myself lucky then.

Moral: Don't start having sex with someone before the divorce is final. So sad, you're bad.

Ok.

 

[Proserpina]

Like I said not worried about it. Can't be proven.





What exactly am I going to say? You make it sound as if I have no rights to my children because I choose not to deal with their mother.




No need to continue. Like I said Im not worried about it. My wife doesn't have any money to afford a lawyer. She's living off of every dime I give to her. My money was and is my money. I had that paycheck long before I met my wife. I have a house not an apartment and I dont see what the big deal is. My wife moved out we're not together anymore. My girlfriend needed a place to stay so she moved in.



I didnt agree to her quitting her job. She quit her job to move & marry me. She made that decision on her own. You really shouldn't talk about people you don't know. I guess I will consider myself lucky then.

Ok.

Dang, I would actually buy tickets to your court hearings.

I'd even spring for the popcorn.

You have absolutely no idea what you're into here, do you?

 

[Isis1]

Like I said not worried about it. Can't be proven.





What exactly am I going to say? You make it sound as if I have no rights to my children because I choose not to deal with their mother.




No need to continue. Like I said Im not worried about it. My wife doesn't have any money to afford a lawyer. She's living off of every dime I give to her. My money was and is my money. I had that paycheck long before I met my wife. I have a house not an apartment and I dont see what the big deal is. My wife moved out we're not together anymore. My girlfriend needed a place to stay so she moved in.



I didnt agree to her quitting her job. She quit her job to move & marry me. She made that decision on her own. You really shouldn't talk about people you don't know. I guess I will consider myself lucky then.

Ok.

this mentality cracks me up. marital assets. a little louder maybe. MARITAL ASSETS. everything is OURS in the marriage. the house, the car, the blender, the income. EVERYTHING!!! until that divorce order is signed, you are STILL married. therefore everything is still OURS.

you know the common complaint, "she took half of my stuff"? hey dumblehead, you took half of hers too!

the FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY doesn't have to know you to lay it all out on the line. because the law doesn't adjust to who has the better looks or better personality in court. it breaks down the financial assets. numbers. facts. not emotion.

you need to come to terms with that. or you can stay bitter. i'm sure your lover will appreciate your bitterness. she's the one that has to live with it.