What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon
I have been married for 16+ years and have 2 children - I would say for the past several years the marriage has been strained and going down hill, in fact I would have been long gone if their were not children involved.
I would consider my husband emotionally abusive, and very mean and one who likes to play games. I don't have a clue as to what he does most of the time. I mean that financially, as well as life in general and in his business dealings, but not for the lack of trying to find out.
About a year ago, he went and opened a bank account in just his name and moved ALL funds to that account - he felt that he was the only bread winner so therefore it all his money. He believes however, that I have had plenty of time to find a job and should be contributing to the household income - so that's why he said he got his own account, he said that I need to learn a lesson... even though I have been a stay at home mom for the past 14 years, and supported him in his entrepreneurial endeavors, took care of the household duties and and the kids. I truly have no problem with going and getting a job, except that my skill sets for any kind of job is rather rusty and he has a certain figure in mind that I need to be earning. Although, the first 2 years of our marriage I was employed doing data entry but the last time I worked any job was in 1997, but what he expects me to bring home with my experience is not even realistic.
He is a Gen. Contractor and makes decent money at least I think as he wont disclose that information to me and makes it clear that HE has money to do as he wishes. I am however, part owner of his Construction Company. He has also made investments in real estate were we lost our shorts and ruined our credit etc. I wholeheartedly did not want to get involved in the Real Estate game and made that very clear to him, I even asked him to take my name off the titles, however, he did it anyway. I realize that it's half my mess because we are married. I've supported him through the good and bad.
He does pay the house bills but anything that I want or need such as haircuts, food for the dog and cats, clothes, etc. is at my own expense, thankfully I am not a big spender! I have emptied all my 401k (which wasn't a whole lot) this past year since I have no access to really any sort of funds.
I have borrowed funds from my parents in the past so that I could get a decent laptop, so that I could learn web design/graphics and marketing so that I can hopefully make more then minimum wage once I re-enter the work force. I see things just starting to get rolling in that venture.
But now I find myself wanting to pursue a divorce, sounds simple, but .... without having any finances to speak of. But where do I even begin,
I am scared to death to file for divorce since I am afraid that I will be left with no help financially - I feel completely trapped and don't even know were to start. I do know that need to get educated about my rights and so that's why I am writing this now ...
I know what he is doing is not right and I have let it go on far to long. This last year has been very stressful and he is so different from the person I married.
Thankfully I am a strong woman and know that I have tried everything including counseling and know that the best thing is to move on, but what are my rights and how do I chose a Divorce Attorney that will take a look at all of our real estate investments, business dealings, child support issues and divorce proceedings ...?
I thank you any advance for any input or advice you may have for me ~
I have been married for 16+ years and have 2 children - I would say for the past several years the marriage has been strained and going down hill, in fact I would have been long gone if their were not children involved.
I would consider my husband emotionally abusive, and very mean and one who likes to play games. I don't have a clue as to what he does most of the time. I mean that financially, as well as life in general and in his business dealings, but not for the lack of trying to find out.
About a year ago, he went and opened a bank account in just his name and moved ALL funds to that account - he felt that he was the only bread winner so therefore it all his money. He believes however, that I have had plenty of time to find a job and should be contributing to the household income - so that's why he said he got his own account, he said that I need to learn a lesson... even though I have been a stay at home mom for the past 14 years, and supported him in his entrepreneurial endeavors, took care of the household duties and and the kids. I truly have no problem with going and getting a job, except that my skill sets for any kind of job is rather rusty and he has a certain figure in mind that I need to be earning. Although, the first 2 years of our marriage I was employed doing data entry but the last time I worked any job was in 1997, but what he expects me to bring home with my experience is not even realistic.
He is a Gen. Contractor and makes decent money at least I think as he wont disclose that information to me and makes it clear that HE has money to do as he wishes. I am however, part owner of his Construction Company. He has also made investments in real estate were we lost our shorts and ruined our credit etc. I wholeheartedly did not want to get involved in the Real Estate game and made that very clear to him, I even asked him to take my name off the titles, however, he did it anyway. I realize that it's half my mess because we are married. I've supported him through the good and bad.
He does pay the house bills but anything that I want or need such as haircuts, food for the dog and cats, clothes, etc. is at my own expense, thankfully I am not a big spender! I have emptied all my 401k (which wasn't a whole lot) this past year since I have no access to really any sort of funds.
I have borrowed funds from my parents in the past so that I could get a decent laptop, so that I could learn web design/graphics and marketing so that I can hopefully make more then minimum wage once I re-enter the work force. I see things just starting to get rolling in that venture.
But now I find myself wanting to pursue a divorce, sounds simple, but .... without having any finances to speak of. But where do I even begin,
I am scared to death to file for divorce since I am afraid that I will be left with no help financially - I feel completely trapped and don't even know were to start. I do know that need to get educated about my rights and so that's why I am writing this now ...
I know what he is doing is not right and I have let it go on far to long. This last year has been very stressful and he is so different from the person I married.
Thankfully I am a strong woman and know that I have tried everything including counseling and know that the best thing is to move on, but what are my rights and how do I chose a Divorce Attorney that will take a look at all of our real estate investments, business dealings, child support issues and divorce proceedings ...?
I thank you any advance for any input or advice you may have for me ~