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problems with teen

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ncgranny

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? north carolina
I am legal gaurdian for my 17 yr old step grandson. He is skipping school,extremely disrespectful,lies, did smoke pot ( not sure if he is now or not) last drug test was negative. he's been gone for 2 days now, we had an arguement, the school called he had skipped again, i told him he was grounded, he informed me that I had no control over him and he could do whatever he wanted and go where ever he wanted, and there's nothing that i can do about it, and he walked out the door. This is the 1st time he's took off. He's headed down the wrong road,this I know. Counciling I truly dont believe will help,beacause he's the type child that will sit and tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear just to shut you up. He won't be 18 for 10 more months. His mother is dead, his father is who knows where,lft when child was 2 months old,(he and she never married) Child's biological family has not ever been in the picture for him. They did not want him. I was awarded custody of him when he was 2,I have loved and raised him since. He's a very intelligent boy
( let me be clear in this, I was married to the childs biological grandfather, but had been divorced from him for yrs before ,i got custody of my stepgrandson, his mother brought him to me when she could not longer care for him) so, with all this being said , plz advise me of what i can do.
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? north carolina
I am legal gaurdian for my 17 yr old step grandson. He is skipping school,extremely disrespectful,lies, did smoke pot ( not sure if he is now or not) last drug test was negative. he's been gone for 2 days now, we had an arguement, the school called he had skipped again, i told him he was grounded, he informed me that I had no control over him and he could do whatever he wanted and go where ever he wanted, and there's nothing that i can do about it, and he walked out the door. This is the 1st time he's took off. He's headed down the wrong road,this I know. Counciling I truly dont believe will help,beacause he's the type child that will sit and tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear just to shut you up. He won't be 18 for 10 more months. His mother is dead, his father is who knows where,lft when child was 2 months old,(he and she never married) Child's biological family has not ever been in the picture for him. They did not want him. I was awarded custody of him when he was 2,I have loved and raised him since. He's a very intelligent boy
( let me be clear in this, I was married to the childs biological grandfather, but had been divorced from him for yrs before ,i got custody of my stepgrandson, his mother brought him to me when she could not longer care for him) so, with all this being said , plz advise me of what i can do.

You can report him as a runaway and hope the police will retrieve and return him.

(In some states they cannot/will not force a 17 year old to return home).
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? north carolina
I am legal gaurdian for my 17 yr old step grandson. He is skipping school,extremely disrespectful,lies, did smoke pot ( not sure if he is now or not) last drug test was negative. he's been gone for 2 days now, we had an arguement, the school called he had skipped again, i told him he was grounded, he informed me that I had no control over him and he could do whatever he wanted and go where ever he wanted, and there's nothing that i can do about it, and he walked out the door. This is the 1st time he's took off. He's headed down the wrong road,this I know. Counciling I truly dont believe will help,beacause he's the type child that will sit and tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear just to shut you up. He won't be 18 for 10 more months. His mother is dead, his father is who knows where,lft when child was 2 months old,(he and she never married) Child's biological family has not ever been in the picture for him. They did not want him. I was awarded custody of him when he was 2,I have loved and raised him since. He's a very intelligent boy
( let me be clear in this, I was married to the childs biological grandfather, but had been divorced from him for yrs before ,i got custody of my stepgrandson, his mother brought him to me when she could not longer care for him) so, with all this being said , plz advise me of what i can do.
First, thank you for stepping up to the plate to do what you can in a difficult situation.

First, I would suggest that you talk with the police to see what your options are. You can probably report him as a runaway and have him picked up.

Then, I would suggest that you talk with a counselor yourself. They may be able to give you some advice. There's really no 'one size fits all' advice to dealing with a difficult child. Some kids need firm handling and others should be handled more gently.

Finally, don't give up on counseling. I would definitely ask friends for recommendations and maybe even talk to one or two myself. A good counselor can not quite work miracles, but they can come close. Getting the child to a counselor does a number of things - all of them positive:
- It says to the child "I have not given up on you and want to do what I can to help you deal with whatever is troubling you"
- It gives the kid the opportunity to get some things off his chest that he might not be willing to talk with you about.
- If you choose the right counselor, they can (metaphorically) whack the kid with the baseball bat of reality - and help him to understand the consequences of his actions.

Now, of course, you may have trouble getting him to go to a counselor even after the police bring him back. Choosing a young, attractive, female counselor might help with that. :D

Good luck.
 

csi7

Senior Member
I agree. I found a cute young female counselor for our son and it worked. I also found a policeman who helped our son see the law in real life.
Best wishes.
 

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