Agreement date

[angelface30s]

WI - My ex and I went thru a year long battle of changing the agreement. My funds for a lawyer were running out so I had to give more to my ex then I wanted or felt was fair. Anyways, even though our agreement stated he needed my permission to take the kids to the doctors for anything over $50.00, which he didn't, he went after me for medical bill payments and for money to pay his wife for watching our kids. Because I ran out of money for my lawyer to continue legal help after a year, I gave him what he wanted, all child support canceled that I was getting and back child support to a zero amount, but it was left open for me to receive it later after he feels I have paid what was due. He would not put a number on the agreement and my lawyer wanted more money from me to get a number on the agreement. When the child support issue came up, it was in June, so he put on the agreement that it get canceled on 8/01/11. This agreement issue went on through October before everything was finalized. I continued getting child support which went right to our daughters needs from his employer until court was final. Now I get an email that If I don't pay him in full or in payments for the over payment from 8/1 until October, that he will take me back to court again. He said he will go after my wages, however, since Nov. I've been laid off. 1, Can he go after this child support? If so, I have no money to give him and what little bit I get in unemployment pays for rent and electric to provide for our daughter. I can't afford a lawyer anymore, if I can't pay him back this money, will I be found in contempt?

 

[mistoffolees]

WI - My ex and I went thru a year long battle of changing the agreement. My funds for a lawyer were running out so I had to give more to my ex then I wanted or felt was fair. Anyways, even though our agreement stated he needed my permission to take the kids to the doctors for anything over $50.00, which he didn't, he went after me for medical bill payments and for money to pay his wife for watching our kids. Because I ran out of money for my lawyer to continue legal help after a year, I gave him what he wanted, all child support canceled that I was getting and back child support to a zero amount, but it was left open for me to receive it later after he feels I have paid what was due. He would not put a number on the agreement and my lawyer wanted more money from me to get a number on the agreement. When the child support issue came up, it was in June, so he put on the agreement that it get canceled on 8/01/11. This agreement issue went on through October before everything was finalized. I continued getting child support which went right to our daughters needs from his employer until court was final. Now I get an email that If I don't pay him in full or in payments for the over payment from 8/1 until October, that he will take me back to court again. He said he will go after my wages, however, since Nov. I've been laid off. 1, Can he go after this child support? If so, I have no money to give him and what little bit I get in unemployment pays for rent and electric to provide for our daughter. I can't afford a lawyer anymore, if I can't pay him back this money, will I be found in contempt?

I'm having a really hard time following your post, so let me put it like this.

You have to follow the court order and do whatever the court order says. Any side agreements you worked out between yourselves are largely irrelevant. So do what the court order says that you have to do.

 

[angelface30s]

Sorry, ok, from the time we started rewriting the agreement (and we both had lawyers, don't know why my lawyer didn't catch this), but from the time we started writing the agreement to when it actually went thru the courts, there were two months that I kept getting child support, the dad didn't stop it on the date he put on the agreement. In other words, In July he wanted the child support to stop 8/1/11, so that is what was on the agreement, but the agreement didn't get signed and put thru the courts until 10/1/11. He didn't have his employer stop it until the court approved it. So now, he is taking me back to court for the 2 months that it took to stop it. In the mean time, I have been laid off and no longer receive child support, but he wants to put a judgement to withdrawal from my pay check.

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry, ok, from the time we started rewriting the agreement (and we both had lawyers, don't know why my lawyer didn't catch this), but from the time we started writing the agreement to when it actually went thru the courts, there were two months that I kept getting child support, the dad didn't stop it on the date he put on the agreement. In other words, In July he wanted the child support to stop 8/1/11, so that is what was on the agreement, but the agreement didn't get signed and put thru the courts until 10/1/11. He didn't have his employer stop it until the court approved it. So now, he is taking me back to court for the 2 months that it took to stop it. In the mean time, I have been laid off and no longer receive child support, but he wants to put a judgement to withdrawal from my pay check.

He could NOT have his employer stop it without a court order. You owe him 2 MONTHS of support. He can most likely get a judgment to pay him back for the 2 months of support that you received and to which you were not entitled depending on the actual exact wording of the order. Why didn't you give him the money from August and September back to him? You KNEW that was in the agreement and therefore you should NOT have spent that money.

 

[mistoffolees]

He could NOT have his employer stop it without a court order. You owe him 2 MONTHS of support. He can most likely get a judgment to pay him back for the 2 months of support that you received and to which you were not entitled depending on the actual exact wording of the order. Why didn't you give him the money from August and September back to him? You KNEW that was in the agreement and therefore you should NOT have spent that money.

I agree. And if he DOES have to seek a judgment, it simply creates additional expense and hassle for both of you. And his odds of winning are very high. So you're going to have to pay the money back, anyway, so you might as well do it voluntarily. Just make sure you get a receipt or keep a canceled check and write "Child support refund" on the check.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree. And if he DOES have to seek a judgment, it simply creates additional expense and hassle for both of you. And his odds of winning are very high. So you're going to have to pay the money back, anyway, so you might as well do it voluntarily. Just make sure you get a receipt or keep a canceled check and write "Child support refund" on the check.

I agree that she has to follow the court order and that she has to pay him back for those two months. However, from her first post it does appear that she let dad off the hook for some back support. So its pretty sleezy of dad to insist that she pay him back NOW, while she is unemployed.

My second sentence of course is a personal opinion, not a legal one.

 

[angelface30s]

Thank you, I will start paying him something, but he (or she his wife) is asking for 92.00 a week or the whole thing by the end of the year. I don't have that kind of money right now, so what am I to do? Can he go after me if I am paying something back to him each week? And you are right, he is sleazy, in the last 2 years, I have given him primary custody of my son and no child support for our other child that I have primary custody of. I knew he would find something to take me back to court for. I had no idea the date was not going to get changed, I had faith in my lawyer to take care of that for me, therefore, that is why I spent it. Alot of dates were getting changed in the agreement, just not that one. I know after I pay this, he will find something else. He has taken me to court 7 times in the last 11 years. He told me when I left him he would make me pay for leaving him.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thank you, I will start paying him something, but he (or she his wife) is asking for 92.00 a week or the whole thing by the end of the year. I don't have that kind of money right now, so what am I to do? Can he go after me if I am paying something back to him each week? And you are right, he is sleazy, in the last 2 years, I have given him primary custody of my son and no child support for our other child that I have primary custody of. I knew he would find something to take me back to court for. I had no idea the date was not going to get changed, I had faith in my lawyer to take care of that for me, therefore, that is why I spent it. Alot of dates were getting changed in the agreement, just not that one. I know after I pay this, he will find something else. He has taken me to court 7 times in the last 11 years. He told me when I left him he would make me pay for leaving him.

"I didn't read the agreement or attend a hearing because I thought my lawyer would take care of it" is not a useful defense.

If he is taking to to court for legitimate reasons, you can't do anything about it (except start following the agreement). if he's taking the court for frivolous reasons, you could ask the court to order him to pay your legal expenses. But since you admit that you owe him money, it doesn't sound frivolous.

As for contempt, he can file for contempt if you are behind by even $1. Or even if you pay the full amount and it's 1 day late. But if you're making a reasonable, good faith effort to pay, many judges would not punish you. (although some will - especially if you lost many of the previous hearings).

 

[angelface30s]

First I want to clear up, we settled out of court, but I live in a different state, so my lawyer represented me in meetings to come to an agreement. I trusted my lawyer that he was looking after my best interest and if he felt I had to pay that back, he would have the date changed before we both signed it. I really didn't understand the verbiage on the agreement (left open I thought until we agreed on an amount), when asking my lawyer, he wouldn't give me a straight answer. I take full responsibility for not double checking the paperwork before signing it. I also never missed a hearing in the 11 years that we have had them.

Second, here is the exact verbiage on the agreement:

Child support shall be held open effective August 1, 2011. Child Support arrears, if any, shall be fixed at $0.00 effective August1, 2011.

and yes, he had arrears that I forgave.

So with that verbiage, can he go after me for the 2 months that went thru until we both signed the agreement outside of court?

 

[Ohiogal]

First I want to clear up, we settled out of court, but I live in a different state, so my lawyer represented me in meetings to come to an agreement. I trusted my lawyer that he was looking after my best interest and if he felt I had to pay that back, he would have the date changed before we both signed it. I really didn't understand the verbiage on the agreement (left open I thought until we agreed on an amount), when asking my lawyer, he wouldn't give me a straight answer. I take full responsibility for not double checking the paperwork before signing it. I also never missed a hearing in the 11 years that we have had them.

Second, here is the exact verbiage on the agreement:

Child support shall be held open effective August 1, 2011. Child Support arrears, if any, shall be fixed at $0.00 effective August1, 2011.

and yes, he had arrears that I forgave.

So with that verbiage, can he go after me for the 2 months that went thru until we both signed the agreement outside of court?

YES. You received money to which you were NOT entitled.

 

[angelface30s]

Thank you for answering my question. I will start paying it back. I guess I am a little defensive cause I feel like I am being accused of something that wasn't my fault. I was not explained what the verbiage meant and thought as long as it was still being sent to me, it was rightfully mine. It was not kept intentionally, and since my funds are a bit tight, I thought I would be given more time to pay it back, he takes home about 1200.00 a week, I take home with unemployment about $150.00 a week. $92.00 a week to pay back would leave me nothing to support our daughter.

 

[tuffbrk]

You can see if you qualify for legal aid to assist you. After all, there's been a change in circumstances since the date of the agreement.

Apply for assistance everywhere you can - food stamps, rent subsidy, utility assistance, welfare, etc. Frankly, if you put state assistance into play, the state may very well take over your child support case.

 

[torimac]

92 a month may not be in your budget, but so long as you are paying something, then you are making an effort. My ex owes thousands in arrears. He pays back $15 a month. So long as he is paying something, the CS office is happy with that and will not file for contempt.

Right now, you can set the terms of repayment. He may not be happy about it. So long as there is no court order, ordering you to pay a certain amount, you can set the terms. Just make sure not to simply hand over cash without him signing a receipt or if you write a check, document the reason for the payment in the memo field. Otherwise, he might claim no payments were made.

And hopefully you have learned not to forgive arrears.

 

[mistoffolees]

92 a month may not be in your budget, but so long as you are paying something, then you are making an effort. My ex owes thousands in arrears. He pays back $15 a month. So long as he is paying something, the CS office is happy with that and will not file for contempt.

Right now, you can set the terms of repayment. He may not be happy about it. So long as there is no court order, ordering you to pay a certain amount, you can set the terms. Just make sure not to simply hand over cash without him signing a receipt or if you write a check, document the reason for the payment in the memo field. Otherwise, he might claim no payments were made.

And hopefully you have learned not to forgive arrears.

And, in the future, if you receive money that you're not entitled to, don't spend it.

 

[angelface30s]

Thanks for the ideas and help, I truly appreciate it. I know although we don't always like how the law is written and don't agree with it, it is what it is. I did apply and am receiving food stamps. Correction on the child support payments, he wants what he paid me at $92.00 a week, not a month. I will call and get a payment arrangement going based on what I can afford. And I didn't spend it on purpose, I truly thought it was rightfully mine until it went thru the courts. Lesson learned... I couldn't even get my lawyer to explain what "leave child support open" meant..... Thanks again and hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!