It's really not a matter of having sex. It's a matter of me being able to have whomever I want to have stay at my house whenever I want. He left me and the kids and now he wants to still try and control me. That is what is really ticking me off. If I would not have pushed him to file he would have left us just separated forever. Also can the times of day be changed? 10pm seems rather early since we are often up way past 10pm.
Well here's the thing - no paramour clauses are quite common while going through a divorce. It's thought to be in the best interests of the children. Especially if you continue to reside in the marital home.
There was no reason on earth why you couldn't have filed for divorce. He didn't have to initiate it. So you need to put that aside.
I'm also concerned that you may have brought the children into your marital woes. Complained about their Dad, put him down for walking out. If you did - and I'm not saying that you did - but if you did, that will be held against you in court. Bringing another person into their lives, basically "replacing" Dad/alienating Dad will also not be looked upon favorably so it's truly in your best interests to:
1) Agree to the clause
2) Encourage your children to renew their relationship with Dad
3) Help your children to understand that everyone, even Dads, make mistakes and that it was a hard time for both of you and you both may have made mistakes but that it wasn't meant to hurt them
4) Get yourself and your children into therapy.
Especially you. Anyone who can "move on" that quickly and get into a serious relationship that quickly is rebounding. During Parenting classes, it was explained that you should never get seriously involved with someone until a full year after the divorce is FINAL. 85% of divorced folks who remarry in less than that time wind up divorcing (that percentage was quoted in 2005). The suggested way to look at it is - You missed having a TV. You got another TV. What you do not immediately realize is that the new TV is the same as the old TV just a newer/prettier/skinnier/more-hair-on-his-head/fun model. The components though are the same.
Give yourself some time. Your whole family needs therapy - not a replacement. Good luck.