Can an affair sex video be legally used in court to lock him out of his house?

[maplewood]

I'm in a 1.5 year long affair, and we made a sex tape at my apartment. One week ago, his wife found the sex video at his house, and in an emotional frenzy, she changed the locks to their house so he cannot have access. The house title is in both their names. She threatens to use the sex videos against him in court if he tries to re-enter. They're divorcing now. They have a son. The son was not around during sex video. The sex video depicts us having sex on my couch (nothing that exciting and certainly nothing illegal). His wife is a successful insurance/medical malpractice attorney, and her father is a retired attorney and legal mediator. Her father warned my lover, "you will not find a judge in the state who will give you access to your house with those sex videos." Is this legal for her to use our sex videos against him? Also, are my privacy rights being violated that she has my sex videos and threatening to use them in court? This is in Washington, which is a no-fault state.

 

[Zigner]

I suggest that you just butt right on out of his legal situation.


(no pun intended)

 

[Proserpina]

I'm in a 1.5 year long affair, and we made a sex tape at my apartment. One week ago, his wife found the sex video at his house, and in an emotional frenzy, she changed the locks to their house so he cannot have access. The house title is in both their names. She threatens to use the sex videos against him in court if he tries to re-enter. They're divorcing now. They have a son. The son was not around during sex video. The sex video depicts us having sex on my couch (nothing that exciting and certainly nothing illegal). His wife is a successful insurance/medical malpractice attorney, and her father is a retired attorney and legal mediator. Her father warned my lover, "you will not find a judge in the state who will give you access to your house with those sex videos." Is this legal for her to use our sex videos against him? Also, are my privacy rights being violated that she has my sex videos and threatening to use them in court? This is in Washington, which is a no-fault state.

No, she cannot lock him out of the marital home like that.

He needs an attorney, asap.

And really - none of your rights have been violated here. You made a sex tape and your brainless lover didn't think to stash it somewhere safe?

You need to run far, far away from this twit.

(FYI - your entire history is probably about to be made public in family court)

 

[sandyclaus]

I'm in a 1.5 year long affair, and we made a sex tape at my apartment. One week ago, his wife found the sex video at his house, and in an emotional frenzy, she changed the locks to their house so he cannot have access. The house title is in both their names. She threatens to use the sex videos against him in court if he tries to re-enter. They're divorcing now. They have a son. The son was not around during sex video. The sex video depicts us having sex on my couch (nothing that exciting and certainly nothing illegal). His wife is a successful insurance/medical malpractice attorney, and her father is a retired attorney and legal mediator. Her father warned my lover, "you will not find a judge in the state who will give you access to your house with those sex videos." Is this legal for her to use our sex videos against him? Also, are my privacy rights being violated that she has my sex videos and threatening to use them in court? This is in Washington, which is a no-fault state.

Your privacy went right out the window when you made those sex tapes, hon.

And since it is a no-fault state, there is little that revealing sex tapes in court is going to do except raise a lot of objections.

Your lover needs to get his own attorney, and you need to stay out of it.

 

[maplewood]

I suggest that you just butt right on out of his legal situation.


(no pun intended)

Well, I was also asking for my own legal advice... did you read the end of the question asking about whether my privacy rights are violated?


I know affairs are a very touchy issue. Moral convictions should not interfere with my right to receive fair, reasonable, and accurate legal advice for this situation.

He has asked me to be involved in his divorce.

 

[Proserpina]

Your privacy went right out the window when you made those sex tapes, hon.

And since it is a no-fault state, there is little that revealing sex tapes in court is going to do except raise a lot of objections.

Your lover needs to get his own attorney, and you need to stay out of it.

Some more conservative judges will take an extremely dim view of the adultery in terms of custody

 

[Proserpina]

Well, I was also asking for my own legal advice... did you read the end of the question asking about whether my privacy rights are violated?


I know affairs are a very touchy issue. Moral convictions should not interfere with my right to receive fair, reasonable, and accurate legal advice for this situation.

He has asked me to be involved in his divorce.

I answered your question. You don't have any privacy rights here.

Here's some legal advice for him:

Dad, are you WANTING only supervised visitation with your child, and an order that your lover can't be around the child?

If that's your end goal, keep going and keep allowing her to interfere with your divorce.

Nice to see everyone is so concerned about the son.

 

[maplewood]

No, she cannot lock him out of the marital home like that.

He needs an attorney, asap.

And really - none of your rights have been violated here. You made a sex tape and your brainless lover didn't think to stash it somewhere safe?

You need to run far, far away from this twit.

(FYI - your entire history is probably about to be made public in family court)

Yes, I was very upset about the sex tapes being discovered, but I sympathize with him. He and his wife have been heading for this divorce for 3 months. They unofficially separated three weeks ago. The sex tapes were created when they were separated and his wife took their son out of town "to think." He had them hidden in his library, and his wife was not known for snooping around. His wife neglected their marriage; she checked out of their marriage a long time ago. It was highly uncharacteristic and unexpected for her to snoop around last week and find the videos. His wife is an attorney and has a bar license to protect. She is intelligent and level-headed, and I don't think she will release our sex videos for the sake of her son. Her son needs a father.


They are pursing a collaborative approach without lawyers and trying to avoid court.

 

[xylene]

You are being dragged (willingly) into a messy divorce.

You may need your own lawyer.

Depending on the exact circumstances of the discovery of the sex tape your rights may be being violated, and if the stb-ex is asking things of you in exchange for non disclosure of the tape that could be extortion.

You need to realize that creating a private video recording of a sex act is NOT illegal or immoral, and cannot simply be disclosed because they were discovered in jealous circumstances

Be proactive and get your OWN lawyer.

Consider taking a step back from your paramour until the divorce is OVER.

100% ignore the stb-ex father. His opinion is worthless. People love to overstate their own influence and power, especially retired lawyers.


PS - your 'man' is wuss with a weak shoulder if he didn't just break down the door.

 

[maplewood]

Why don't I have privacy rights exactly?

 

[cyjeff]

Time for a visit from Unca Jeffy.....

Darlin', you fell for every single line a player uses on his extramarital playtoy.

First, he told you he was getting a divorce, but then nothing REALLY happened until the Mrs. found the tape.

Second, he made a sex tape and then told you that he would keep it somewhere safe and/or never show it to anyone.

Third, you are still believing him when he says stuff like "my wife and I are separating and she took Junior somewhere to think"... if you ask the wife, SHE probably thought she was going to visit her mom with the child alone because SHE was told HE had too much work to do to leave or something.

Your privacy was violated the moment the tape was made and left your possession. Now, you really don't have anything to say about it unless you find it on a porn website somewhere. That, by the way, should cross your mind the moment you decide to break up with the brain surgeon you are boffing while he is still married.

Why do none of you morons that have sex with married people understand that the simple fact you are willing to deceive your lover's spouse and family tells a court, a judge and a jury that you are willing to deceive THEM too if that deception serves your needs. Your word is worth crap. HIS word is worth crap.

You two deserve each other. When you come back here in a year or so because he is cheating on you and you are wondering what you can get in the breakup, just do us all a favor and avoid this forum and contact an attorney.

 

[maplewood]

You are being dragged (willingly) into a messy divorce.

You may need your own lawyer.

Depending on the exact circumstances of the discovery of the sex tape your rights may be being violated, and if the stb-ex is asking things of you in exchange for non disclosure of the tape that could be extortion.

You need to realize that creating a private video recording of a sex act is NOT illegal or immoral, and cannot simply be disclosed because they were discovered in jealous circumstances

Be proactive and get your OWN lawyer.

Consider taking a step back from your paramour until the divorce is OVER.

100% ignore the stb-ex father. His opinion is worthless. People love to overstate their own influence and power, especially retired lawyers.


PS - your 'man' is wuss with a weak shoulder if he didn't just break down the door.

Thank you for your response.

He went over there this morning and asked for the new house keys, and his keys to their ford explorer back. She locked him out and would not let him inside.

If he breaks down the door, he'll may be accused of being violent and wreckless which will negatively impact his potential custody rights. He's thinking of his son first.

They plan on splitting the custody 50/50, but she keeps the house and he keeps all the furniture/everything inside the house. They're trying to do a collaborative "alternative to court" approach.

He has an appointment with an attorney this Monday, but the attorney is a collaborative attorney. His wife is a litigator, and she has a litigator/collaborative attorney. He fears he's at a disadvantage.

 

[cyjeff]

By the way, what is the over/under on the chances that the wife "found" the sex tape by looking over the brain surgeon's shoulder while he was watching it when he thought he was alone?

Yeah, Darlin', I know that isn't the story that you heard. Ask him again.

 

[xylene]

They're trying to do a collaborative "alternative to court" approach.

That's stupid.

What is he some kind of country club set wanker?

Please.

Buy off his wife with the house so he can be with you?

 

[maplewood]

By the way, what is the over/under on the chances that the wife "found" the sex tape by looking over the brain surgeon's shoulder while he was watching it when he thought he was alone?

Yeah, Darlin', I know that isn't the story that you heard. Ask him again.

I asked him to spend the night with me last Sunday night. When he got home at 6:30am Monday morning, his wife was standing at the front door waiting to confront him that she found the sex tape that night. He came back to my house at 7:30am.


Edit: I partly take blame for the sex tape discovery, because if he hadn't spent the night with me then his wife would never have snooped around that night. I shouldn't have insisted he spend the night.