Temporary Modification of Visitation

[mrobison14]

I am divorced in Illinois and have a visitation agreement in place, and we have agreed to communicate via the Our Family Wizard website. Once or twice a year I have a different schedule at work, so I submit a request to swap visitation time. These requets are put in at least two weeks ahead of time with the idea of plenty of time to figure it out with my ex. However, she continues to reject every request and refuses to discuss options to attempt to reschedule.

I am wondering if there is anything I can do with the court so that I do not have to continue to lose time just because she said so.

My ex has sole custody, and seems to penalize me whenever possible which seems like an abuse of her so called powers.

As an example; next week I will be out of town for work and will not be able to pick up the kids at 3:00 on Friday as planned for my weekend visitation. I proposed to pick up the kids at 6:00 instead, and my ex came back with me picking up the kids at 9:00 am Saturday. This would be a loss of eighteen hours instead of the three hours difference.

Is there anything I can do about this?

Thanks!

 

[mistoffolees]

I am divorced in Illinois and have a visitation agreement in place, and we have agreed to communicate via the Our Family Wizard website. Once or twice a year I have a different schedule at work, so I submit a request to swap visitation time. These requets are put in at least two weeks ahead of time with the idea of plenty of time to figure it out with me ex. However, she continues to reject every request and refuses to discuss options to attempt to reschedule.

I am wondering if there is anything I can do with the court so that I do not have to continue to lose time just because she said so.

My ex has sole custody, and seems to penalize me whenever possible which seems like an abuse of her so called powers.

As an example; next week I will be out of town for work and will not be able to pick up the kids at 3:00 on Friday as planned for my weekend visitation. I proposed to pick up the kids at 6:00 instead, and my ex came back with me picking up the kids at 9:00 am Saturday. This would be a loss of eighteen hours instead of the three hours difference.

Is there anything I can do about this?

Thanks!

What does your court order say with respect to visitation? Word for word, but without the names.

Your ex has no obligation to swap visitation times with you. She is only obligated to follow the court order to the letter. If you are unable to exercise your visitation, that's your problem, not hers. There is no way to force her to work around your schedule.

It sounds like she's being reasonable and working with you, but just not giving you everything you ask for. She doesn't have to switch weeks with you, for example.

Now, the example you gave is something different. If you are to have the kids the entire weekend and you are going to be a few hours late in picking them up, she has to accommodate that as long as it's reasonable. Telling her that you're picking the kids up a few hours late isn't unreasonable, so she should honor it. I would tell her that you'll be there at 6 pm and if she doesn't have the kids there, then you can file for contempt.

But we really need the exact wording of your order to be sure.

 

[stealth2]

Do you pick the kids up from school, normally? What does your order say about visitation, transportation, etc? Exact wording, minus names, please.

 

[mrobison14]

I do normally pick them up from school, but will not be able to in the example given. I don't have the exact wording with me, but I know it states that I am solely responsible for pick up and drop off for visitation. It does not go into any details as far as a temporary/single change of the time.

I have tried to arrange for my current wife to pick them up, and that has been rejected as well. I feel defenseless when these minor changes are to be made. I understand if she doesn't want to swap time, but she is unreasonable to the actual time change on these.

 

[stealth2]

How old are the children? And when does Mom get home from work?

 

[mrobison14]

Kids are five and nearly seven. Mom is a teacher in another town and is usually home between 3:00-3:30.

 

[mistoffolees]

I do normally pick them up from school, but will not be able to in the example given. I don't have the exact wording with me, but I know it states that I am solely responsible for pick up and drop off for visitation. It does not go into any details as far as a temporary/single change of the time.

I have tried to arrange for my current wife to pick them up, and that has been rejected as well. I feel defenseless when these minor changes are to be made. I understand if she doesn't want to swap time, but she is unreasonable to the actual time change on these.

She is being unreasonable. First, unless your court order prohibits it, your wife can pick up the kids. Second, a few hour delay in picking up the kids is not an issue.

Although we're still waiting for the exact wording of your order....

 

[mrobison14]

What legal leg do I have to stand on if my current wife goes to pick them up at school and my ex or someone from her family is there to raise a stink?

I don't want to cause a scene in front of the kids or at the school, but I also don't want to continue to give in to her unreasonable demands.

 

[stealth2]

What legal leg do I have to stand on if my current wife goes to pick them up at school and my ex or someone from her family is there to raise a stink?

I don't want to cause a scene in front of the kids or at the school, but I also don't want to continue to give in to her unreasonable demands.

We can't really say unless we know exactly what your order states. Since you have time to be online (you're at work?), perhaps you can call your wife and ask her to read it to you.

 

[Silverplum]

What legal leg do I have to stand on if my current wife goes to pick them up at school and my ex or someone from her family is there to raise a stink?

I don't want to cause a scene in front of the kids or at the school, but I also don't want to continue to give in to her unreasonable demands.

No one here can possibly know what legal leg/s you have or do not have.

Your court order rules supreme. Till you post the exact wording, no one knows.

 

[mrobison14]

So I have the order in front of me and there are no specifics about my current wife picking them up.

The order states the days/times for the schedule and that I " shall be responsible for pick-up and drop off periods of his visitation and holiday parenting. That during the school year pick-up will be at the school."

Then in another document, the Judgement of Dissolution, I found this line that she may be taking differently than I am. "In the event that 'I' am one half hour late for said visitation, 'she' is entitled to leave unless the parties agree to the contrary.

Note that the Judgement was entered in Nov 2008 and the Visitation Order has since been modified due to work schedule and was entered in March 2011.

 

[Silverplum]

So I have the order in front of me and there are no specifics about my current wife picking them up.

The devil is in the details.

The order states the days/times for the schedule and that I " shall be responsible for pick-up and drop off periods of his visitation and holiday parenting. That during the school year pick-up will be at the school."

Based on that, I can see where Mom thinks only you are to pick up, not your wife. She's unreasonable, IMO, but there it is.

Then in another document, the Judgement of Dissolution, I found this line that she may be taking differently than I am. "In the event that 'I' am one half hour late for said visitation, 'she' is entitled to leave unless the parties agree to the contrary.

So you have a 30-minute window.
And you can pick them up at her home after that time.

Note that the Judgement was entered in Nov 2008 and the Visitation Order has since been modified due to work schedule and was entered in March 2011.

Anything not reworked is still in effect.

You're very stingy with the wording. That's the best I can do with the teensy bit you've posted.

 

[mistoffolees]

The devil is in the details.


Based on that, I can see where Mom thinks only you are to pick up, not your wife. She's unreasonable, IMO, but there it is.

It's not that clear. It says that OP will be responsible for the pickup - not that OP must be the one to pick up. If OP arranges for someone else to pick up the kids, I can't see that a court would object.

So you have a 30-minute window.
And you can pick them up at her home after that time.

That part I think is more problematic. It says he has to pick them up within 30 minutes and if he doesn't, Mom can leave. There's nothing that says she has to stay around the house waiting for him. I think he's going to lose that argument. If Mom says she'll have the kid at 9 am the next morning, that's her right - given the way the order is worded.

Anything not reworked is still in effect.

You're very stingy with the wording. That's the best I can do with the teensy bit you've posted.

I would let Mom know that new wife will be picking the kids up at 3 pm. If Mom refuses to let the kids go, file for contempt.

OP is NOT going to be able to make an issue of Mom not waiting around the house until 6 pm.

 

[Silverplum]

It's not that clear. It says that OP will be responsible for the pickup - not that OP must be the one to pick up. If OP arranges for someone else to pick up the kids, I can't see that a court would object.

I don't think the court would object, once it was brought for a modification.

Till then, I'm talking about how Mom sees the c.o., or how she is choosing to interpret it.

That part I think is more problematic. It says he has to pick them up within 30 minutes and if he doesn't, Mom can leave. There's nothing that says she has to stay around the house waiting for him. I think he's going to lose that argument. If Mom says she'll have the kid at 9 am the next morning, that's her right - given the way the order is worded.

I would let Mom know that new wife will be picking the kids up at 3 pm. If Mom refuses to let the kids go, file for contempt.

OP is NOT going to be able to make an issue of Mom not waiting around the house until 6 pm.

No, pickup is to be AT the SCHOOL. Not at Mom's home. So she has to wait 30 minutes at the school, then can leave.

 

[mrobison14]

The 30 minute late thing was put it when I was picking them up at home. Out of respect to her schedule, if I was late she did not have to wait around. It does have that line in reference to us working out a schedule change prior, however she doesn't accept any request and doesn't propose any alternatives.

If my current wife should be allowed to pick them up, then that sounds like the best option at this point. What if my ex prevents that from happening? Do I file for contempt or just a modification?

If contempt is warranted, what should I expect the court to do to her ... or what should I request they do?