Temporary Modification of Visitation

[mrobison14]

So after further communication with my ex, she is standing firm on her decision to not allow me to pick up the until Sat morning.

It seems as if I need to file a motion to modify, since there is some gray area with my current wife being allowed to pick up the kids. How do I present this to the court?

 

[LdiJ]

So after further communication with my ex, she is standing firm on her decision to not allow me to pick up the until Sat morning.

It seems as if I need to file a motion to modify, since there is some gray area with my current wife being allowed to pick up the kids. How do I present this to the court?

How often do you think this is going to be a problem? If you think this is only going to be a once or twice a year issue, it may not be worth the hassle to go to court just for this.

 

[mrobison14]

It's only a couple of times a year, but the order doesn't have any specifics as to how we should work it out. Given that, she can be as unreasonable as she feels like and I lose valuable time with my kids. She could say that I was late and refuse visitation alltogether, and I probably wouldn't be able to do anything with the police or judge to hold her accountable.

This all started with my crappy former lawyer, and I am now having to fight tooth and nail to chip away at seemingly small circumstances. But believe me, any improvement to our so called agreement is a victory for me in regards to seeing my kids.

I know this may seem like no big deal to many people, but I can not let this type of thing go on for the next thirteen plus years.

 

[mistoffolees]

It's only a couple of times a year, but the order doesn't have any specifics as to how we should work it out. Given that, she can be as unreasonable as she feels like and I lose valuable time with my kids. She could say that I was late and refuse visitation alltogether, and I probably wouldn't be able to do anything with the police or judge to hold her accountable.

You show up at the proper time to get your kids. If she refuses to let you have them, you call the police to have them file a report. Then you file for contempt.

Easy.

This all started with my crappy former lawyer, and I am now having to fight tooth and nail to chip away at seemingly small circumstances. But believe me, any improvement to our so called agreement is a victory for me in regards to seeing my kids.

Maybe it's about time that you and your ex stop worrying about what's a victory for you or her and start thinking about what's a victory for the kids - like parents who place their kids ahead of their own petty squabbles.

Yeah, I know. It's all her fault and you're the perfect angel while she's devil spawn. In the real world, it rarely works that way. Most of the time, BOTH parents contribute to these one-upmanship games.

I know this may seem like no big deal to many people, but I can not let this type of thing go on for the next thirteen plus years.

It doesn't have to. You have a court order. Follow it to the letter. if she refuses, you file for contempt. Pretty soon the problem goes away.

If you're not able to pick the child up on time, then you work out alternate arrangements. But Mom's obligation is to have the child read at the specified time. If you can't be there, you can't expect Mom to sit around all weekend waiting for you.

 

[mrobison14]

The issue I am having is that she is unwilling to work on a reasonable change to the pick up time in place. I have made numerous attempts to offer alternatives, and she continues to refuse.

This is not as simple as show up at the proper time, because I will be out of town for meeting with work (read the rest of the thread), and will not be back for the normal pick up. I have asked to pick up the kids three hours later, or have my current wife pick them up and the ex rejects both options.

@mistoffolees: You don't know my situation, so please don't judge or jump to conclusions. I was mislead to give my ex sole custody for no reason. It was not ordered, and now she hangs that over my head for everything. She is dictating what time I am allowed to pick up the kids in this case because she knows she can get away with it.

 

[stealth2]

The issue I am having is that she is unwilling to work on a reasonable change to the pick up time in place. I have made numerous attempts to offer alternatives, and she continues to refuse.

This is not as simple as show up at the proper time, because I will be out of town for meeting with work (read the rest of the thread), and will not be back for the normal pick up. I have asked to pick up the kids three hours later, or have my current wife pick them up and the ex rejects both options.

@mistoffolees: You don't know my situation, so please don't judge or jump to conclusions. I was mislead to give my ex sole custody for no reason. It was not ordered, and now she hangs that over my head for everything. She is dictating what time I am allowed to pick up the kids in this case because she knows she can get away with it.

If a judge signed it? It WAS ordered.

 

[mrobison14]

Ok, if you want to get technical with the wording it was entered in a Parenting Agreement and the final Judgement. My point is that my dumbass lawyer just gave it to them, it was not the judges decision based on drugs, drinking, abuse, etc. She has sole custody because my lawyer did a horrible job explaining the situation.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ok, if you want to get technical with the wording it was entered in a Parenting Agreement and the final Judgement. My point is that my dumbass lawyer just gave it to them, it was not the judges decision based on drugs, drinking, abuse, etc. She has sole custody because my lawyer did a horrible job explaining the situation.

No. She has sole custody because you agreed to it! Try taking responsibility.

 

[mrobison14]

WOW, talk about getting off topic! Sure I agreed to it, and signed the paperwork; but do you really think I wanted to make my life more difficult than it already was; that makes sense!

I also take responsibility to having a bad lawyer, firing him, and revising a number of orders pro-se.

I have taken full responsibility, again you don't know the entire situation and what else has happened since the divorce. That part doesn't even matter to the question at hand. Custody is what it is, and I am here to get advice to my rights.

 

[LdiJ]

WOW, talk about getting off topic! Sure I agreed to it, and signed the paperwork; but do you really think I wanted to make my life more difficult than it already was; that makes sense!

I also take responsibility to having a bad lawyer, firing him, and revising a number of orders pro-se.

I have taken full responsibility, again you don't know the entire situation and what else has happened since the divorce. That part doesn't even matter to the question at hand. Custody is what it is, and I am here to get advice to my rights.

You have been given advice, specific to your questions. Some of us feel that its not worth a battle over something that happens only once or twice a year.

 

[gr8rn]

WOW, talk about getting off topic! Sure I agreed to it, and signed the paperwork; but do you really think I wanted to make my life more difficult than it already was; that makes sense!

I also take responsibility to having a bad lawyer, firing him, and revising a number of orders pro-se.

I have taken full responsibility, again you don't know the entire situation and what else has happened since the divorce. That part doesn't even matter to the question at hand. Custody is what it is, and I am here to get advice to my rights.

Hmmm. Something as critical as sharing custody of children is something pretty important. You did do research on your own prior to consulting an attorney, correct? Obviously you need to direct your attorney as to what you want. Right? Because if you gave him the indication that the details were not important then you got what you paid for.

 

[mistoffolees]

@mistoffolees: You don't know my situation, so please don't judge or jump to conclusions. I was mislead to give my ex sole custody for no reason. It was not ordered, and now she hangs that over my head for everything. She is dictating what time I am allowed to pick up the kids in this case because she knows she can get away with it.

No, she is dictating what time you can pick up your kids because the court order says she can. You seem to be of the opinion that you can do whatever you want. You can't. You have to follow the court order - as does she. So, in the future, either pick the kids up on time or else be nice to Mom and work out a schedule.

You also have the option of having your wife go to pick up the kids and if Mom refuses, you could file for contempt. You might not win, but you'd have a decent argument since your order only says that you have to ARRANGE for transportation.

In the end, it's a court order. Follow it and insist that ex follow it. For things not covered by the court order, you have no more right to make demands than your ex does. And since she has primary custody, any time that you want outside of your court order (including when you don't pick the kids up on time) is at her discretion. You may not like it, but that's the legal reality.

 

[mrobison14]

So it's buyers remorse on the lawyer, hard lesson learned.

I was hoping that adjusting the schedule would be reasonable, but I now understand that I am at my ex's mercy when it comes down to it. Even though the order states we can male other arrangements, she is the only opinion that counts I guess.

I will have to consider a motion for the future, as it seems I am out of luck on this one.

Thanks for all of the comments, I think we can wrap this one up.

 

[mistoffolees]

So it's buyers remorse on the lawyer, hard lesson learned.

The bigger lesson is to never sign something that you don't understand.

I was hoping that adjusting the schedule would be reasonable, but I now understand that I am at my ex's mercy when it comes down to it.

Wrong. You are at the mercy of the court order. If you follow the court order, your ex has no choice but to do what the order says.

If you do NOT follow the court order, that means that you must find a solution that is acceptable to BOTH of you. You don't get to dictate.

Even though the order states we can male other arrangements, she is the only opinion that counts I guess.

Wrong. See above.

I will have to consider a motion for the future, as it seems I am out of luck on this one.

You will be out of luck in the future, as well, unless there is a change of circumstances.