My 7 year old and another boy were showing one another there privates

[uknowme1234]

Hello there other night 2 police officers came to my door. They told me they need to talk to me and my wife about our son. We found out that on the ride home from school my boy and another boy were in the back of the bus. Showing themselves to one another. I guess both pulled there pants down and there was some touching. I guess the other boy kissed my boys penis and they touched butts. I guess this boy is 6 years old. When the boy got home I guess he told his mother. She called the police then the school. Then took her boy to the Hospital to be checked out. Now We figured out where these ideas came from. My son by mistake saw a dirty movie. He told us about the movie we talked to him at the time about it. We thought we dealt with it. This was over a year ago. I can see now that we didn't. But the School is now suspending my son for 10 days or 5 with counseling. I really don't find that far. The other boy nothing happens to him. They said because my son came up with the Idea it was mostly him. Even if my boy said do you want to pull your pants down and the other boy said ok. There was never anyone making anyone. Am I wrong to feel this way? I am planing to have my son see a Councilor about this. I just think they are coming down to hard on my boy. the school called on Fri and said that my boy is going to be suspended for the 10 days or the 5 with the shrink. Well They judged my son without even having all the facts yet. We were to have a meeting with them on Friday but didn't have the Report from the police yet. I was like Well then How can you just suspend a child without all the facts. Anyway They have yet to say the punishment to our face's we will get that on Monday. But is there anything I can really do to stop them? They just told my wife on Friday that was going to be the punishment. Thanks

 

[Proserpina]

How did your son see a dirty movie "by mistake"?

 

[NellieBly]

Seven years old is "the age of reason."

 

[CdwJava]

What state are you in?

The school has an obligation to protect other students. if they have made their decision based upon the information presented to them, then they have a right to that decision. You have a right to appeal the suspension (the details of how an appeal might be conducted may vary by state).

The school almost certainly cannot legally tell you what punishment the other child might face, if any. Even if no punishment, that does not absolve your child of punishment.

I would recommend that you seek that counseling just to make sure that all is well and that there is not something else going on. Often this sort of "play" is somewhat natural. Other times (as indicated by the kissing of the penis) it might be as a result of the child witnessing sexual acts or being molested himself. Perhaps therapy can get to the bottom of the matter.

 

[mistoffolees]

Hello there other night 2 police officers came to my door. They told me they need to talk to me and my wife about our son. We found out that on the ride home from school my boy and another boy were in the back of the bus. Showing themselves to one another. I guess both pulled there pants down and there was some touching. I guess the other boy kissed my boys penis and they touched butts. I guess this boy is 6 years old. When the boy got home I guess he told his mother. She called the police then the school. Then took her boy to the Hospital to be checked out. Now We figured out where these ideas came from. My son by mistake saw a dirty movie. He told us about the movie we talked to him at the time about it. We thought we dealt with it. This was over a year ago. I can see now that we didn't. But the School is now suspending my son for 10 days or 5 with counseling. I really don't find that far. The other boy nothing happens to him. They said because my son came up with the Idea it was mostly him. Even if my boy said do you want to pull your pants down and the other boy said ok. There was never anyone making anyone. Am I wrong to feel this way? I am planing to have my son see a Councilor about this. I just think they are coming down to hard on my boy. the school called on Fri and said that my boy is going to be suspended for the 10 days or the 5 with the shrink. Well They judged my son without even having all the facts yet. We were to have a meeting with them on Friday but didn't have the Report from the police yet. I was like Well then How can you just suspend a child without all the facts. Anyway They have yet to say the punishment to our face's we will get that on Monday. But is there anything I can really do to stop them? They just told my wife on Friday that was going to be the punishment. Thanks

I agree with CdwJava. You need to get your child into counseling.

And it is not unreasonable to punish the one who came up with the idea and started the whole thing.

 

[justalayman]

I agree with CdwJava. You need to get your child into counseling.

And it is not unreasonable to punish the one who came up with the idea and started the whole thing.

personally, due to the age, I would hesitate on the punishment issue. The age allows one to argue it was an innocent act and as such, deserves no true punishment. I absolutely agree with counseling though not only because it is improper behavior that needs to be dealt with but also due to the concern of abuse of the child.

 

[uknowme1234]

Im in IL and he saw a movie by mistake and He stated he seen it on the movie. about a year ago he seen a part in a bad movie by mistake. He told us about it and we talk to him about it then figured it was done with. I guess not.

 

[mistoffolees]

personally, due to the age, I would hesitate on the punishment issue. The age allows one to argue it was an innocent act and as such, deserves no true punishment. I absolutely agree with counseling though not only because it is improper behavior that needs to be dealt with but also due to the concern of abuse of the child.

Since it's arguable, the school is probably going to err on the side of removing the kid for a while - and insisting on counseling. Whether you call it punishment or not doesn't change things.

Im in IL and he saw a movie by mistake and He stated he seen it on the movie. about a year ago he seen a part in a bad movie by mistake. He told us about it and we talk to him about it then figured it was done with. I guess not.

Once again, how does a kid see a movie by mistake?

 

[uknowme1234]

umm it was on tv he has Sat in his room we made the mistake of not putting locks on the receiver.

 

[justalayman]

Since it's arguable, the school is probably going to err on the side of removing the kid for a while - and insisting on counseling. Whether you call it punishment or not doesn't change things.

the problem with punishing a child who does not have the capacity to actually form intent is that it can be damaging to the child. When you punish a child for something that isn't wrong, as least as they can understand right and wrong, they tend to respond in a very negative way and often that is carried over to other situations as well.

Now, if the act was due to some prior molestation or similar issue, punishing the child could actually prevent the molester from being discovered. The child will tend to refuse to speak about anything for fear of being punished for the acts, even though he was the victim.

You have to deal with children this young very differently than you would an older child.

 

[Ohiogal]

Seven years old is "the age of reason."

Not necessarily. Not necessarily at all.

 

[stealth2]

umm it was on tv he has Sat in his room we made the mistake of not putting locks on the receiver.

Actually, I would argue that the mistake was in allowing a seven year old to have a tv in his room at all.

Now going to sit in the corner and wait for misto to scold me for posting something that is not a purely legal response.

 

[Ohiogal]

Why didn't the bus driver notice anything going on? Is there an aide on the bus? How did they determine your son was at fault? Why wasn't the other child just as "guilty"? Do you know the parents of the other child? If you appeal the suspension it is possible that you could win.

 

[CdwJava]

Why didn't the bus driver notice anything going on? Is there an aide on the bus?

Have you been on a school bus recently?

One driver, watching the road ... 40 kids all chattering back and forth. The driver might see a fight that rolls into the aisle, but two kids in the back ducking down behind seats (presumably)? While he/she is driving? Doubtful.

Out here we also do not have aides on the buses. In fact, it is a very real possibility that busing may soon be a thing of the past entirely as a result of state budget cuts, so we may not have to face this sort of problem here.

 

[Just Blue]

umm it was on tv he has Sat in his room we made the mistake of not putting locks on the receiver.

Wow. That is really an "on purpose". You neglected your child. As a result he was exposed to filth. You have porn stations and ALLOWED them to be viewed by a six year old. Shame on you.