questions about activities on visitation time

[thetiredwife]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Posting this to see if someone can provide input or suggest another website or resource:

My husband's ex has recently sent several emails telling him of Cub Scout events that supposedly take place during scheduled visitation time with their son. Next weekend, she said he needs to register for a derby and then race on a separate evening. She said registration takes place between 6 and 9 on Friday night ( 6 is the time we would normally be picking up the child for visitation). She has not mentioned a time or day that the derby is taking place, nor has she said the location for either.
She said that she wants to take the child to register on Friday night, and then suggested that my husband pick him up an hour or hour and 1/2 earlier for two visits after. The problem is, that is not workable on our end. She said my husband could take him to register and to the derby. That might be an option if we knew the locations and derby info. However, we (my husband, myself and our children) previously scheduled plans for next weekend. I really don't want to upheave or cancel our children's plans.

So my questions are: Do we need to cancel our children's plans? Would she be able to deny visitation? Can she argue that my husband did not work with her?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Posting this to see if someone can provide input or suggest another website or resource:

My husband's ex has recently sent several emails telling him of Cub Scout events that supposedly take place during scheduled visitation time with their son. Next weekend, she said he needs to register for a derby and then race on a separate evening. She said registration takes place between 6 and 9 on Friday night ( 6 is the time we would normally be picking up the child for visitation). She has not mentioned a time or day that the derby is taking place, nor has she said the location for either.
She said that she wants to take the child to register on Friday night, and then suggested that my husband pick him up and hour or hour and 1/2 earlier for two visits after. The problem is, that is not workable on our end. She said my husband could take him to register and to the derby. That might be an option if we knew the locations and derby info. However, we (my husband, myself and our children) previously scheduled plans for next weekend. I really don't want to upheave or cancel our children's plans.

So my questions are: Do we need to cancel our children's plans? Would she be able to deny visitation? Can she argue that my husband did not work with her?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

So his child gets to be disappointed? Why didn't you add this to your other thread?
Why isn't HIS son's plans and wants as important as your children's plans and wants? Why doesn't YOUR HUSBAND ask her for the locations and derby info? Because this is NOT your business.

 

[stealth2]

Really none of your business. Please have your husband post, or have him go speak with an attorney.

Posting h/x, people.

 

[thetiredwife]

I didn't post this on the other thread because I know that thread hijacking is frowned upon, and because these questions are separate from the old thread.

I ask that my words not be twisted. I did not say the child's plans aren't as important as our children's plans. If these plans (which she just informed us of AFTER plans here were made) interfere with each other, what is the legal course of action to take? Also, the order was modified in August to add that her boyfriend and mother, and I and my father-in-law are appointed as alternate persons to pick up the child. So, in that sense, how is it not my business?

 

[Antigone*]

I didn't post this on the other thread because I know that thread hijacking is frowned upon, and because these questions are separate from the old thread.

I ask that my words not be twisted. I did not say the child's plans aren't as important as our children's plans. If these plans (which she just informed us of AFTER plans here were made) interfere with each other, what is the legal course of action to take? Also, the order was modified in August to add that her boyfriend and mother, and I and my father-in-law are appointed as alternate persons to pick up the child. So, in that sense, how is it not my business?

You are allowed to pick the kids up, that does not make you a party to the action. This continues to be none of your business.

Having said that, the accurate legal answer (channeling JetX here) what dad does during his parenting time is dad's business. Now if mom doesn't turn the child over what dad decides to do with that is completely and solely up to him. I would hope he was smart enough to realize that this is not a hill to die on.

 

[stealth2]

I didn't post this on the other thread because I know that thread hijacking is frowned upon, and because these questions are separate from the old thread.

Overstepping legal strangers are even more so.

 

[thetiredwife]

You are allowed to pick the kids up, that does not make you a party to the action. This continues to be none of your business.

Having said that, the accurate legal answer (channeling JetX here) what dad does during his parenting time is dad's business. Now if mom doesn't turn the child over what dad decides to do with that is completely and solely up to him. I would hope he was smart enough to realize that this is not a hill to die on.

The reason I am posting is because we are trying to make arrangements so that his son does not have to miss the derby and don't have to cancel our children's plans either. Now if the derby is on, say, Saturday morning (which we do not know, because she did not say); his Dad cannot take him because he'll be at work. I am listed as an alternate person for transportation when his Dad cannot, but I'm not sure that would apply to taking him to the derby.

Can you understand why I'm asking now?

 

[DownTime]

The non-mom can take her kids to her own plans. The actual party to the case, the dad, can do what he wishes on his own time, BUT; cancelling something the kid/s want to do on either *actual parents* time is something Dad has to wrestle with.

Why is it THE KIDS' problem that dad made other plans on THEIR time with him, when he could easily just send the other plans away with non-mom and get the other kid/s where they want to be?

Legally speaking, what a controlling thing to put before a judge**************

 

[thetiredwife]

The non-mom can take her kids to her own plans. The actual party to the case, the dad, can do what he wishes on his own time, BUT; cancelling something the kid/s want to do on either *actual parents* time is something Dad has to wrestle with.

Why is it THE KIDS' problem that dad made other plans on THEIR time with him, when he could easily just send the other plans away with non-mom and get the other kid/s where they want to be?

Legally speaking, what a controlling thing to put before a judge**************

Ideally, we are hoping to work this out so none of the kids get disappointed. My husband and I share one van. So depending on if he is at work or running kiddos back and forth, I don't know how I would arrange to get the other kids around. This is also why it would be very helpful to know when his son's derby is. To clarify, he did ask, and the order says that my husband is entitled to complete information from any extra-curricular activity. The only thing she has told him is that derby registration is Friday 6 to 9.

 

[stealth2]

Dad could call the Den Leader. He could call the Pack Leader. He could go online and look at the Pack's website.

 

[gam]

Drive your husband to work, now you have the van to take the child and your children where they need to be, you pick your husband up after work.

Or if you have another excuse why that won't work, then since dad has to work, how bout he just leaves the child with mom, mom takes child to activities and dad picks up when he is done working.

There is alway's a way to make this work for the child.

 

[thetiredwife]

Dad could call the Den Leader. He could call the Pack Leader. He could go online and look at the Pack's website.

Thank you. He does want to do that. He doesn't know the names of the den or pack leader or the pack number that his son is in. All his mom said is that he is a Webelo.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you. He does want to do that. He doesn't know the names of the den or pack leader or the pack number that his son is in. All his mom said is that he is a Webelo.

Dad apparently has not talked to his son about his son's activities because he doesn't care that much. He also apparently hasn't requested the information from his ex.

His son should be able to tell him what pack number and who his leader is. If dad was asking that is. And if dad cared to know. You are making excuses quite frankly.

 

[thetiredwife]

Drive your husband to work, now you have the van to take the child and your children where they need to be, you pick your husband up after work.

Or if you have another excuse why that won't work, then since dad has to work, how bout he just leaves the child with mom, mom takes child to activities and dad picks up when he is done working.

There is alway's a way to make this work for the child.

If the derby is during the hours my husband would be at work, that is definitely an option. I'm just not sure how we can work it out if the derby is later in the day Saturday or on Sunday, then it would be a question of how to get our children to their activities on time and get him to the derby too. Or, as you suggested, if my husband and her could agree to switch weekends.

 

[thetiredwife]

Dad apparently has not talked to his son about his son's activities because he doesn't care that much. He also apparently hasn't requested the information from his ex.

His son should be able to tell him what pack number and who his leader is. If dad was asking that is. And if dad cared to know. You are making excuses quite frankly.

If you see them as excuses, that's how you see it. I know he has requested the info. I have been here when my husband has talked to him. The child has been diagnosed as PDD-NOS. He does not communicate easily. He mostly answers questions with "I don't know. I don't remember."

Please do not make assumptions.