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Protection Order ~ Extension Denied

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tryin2divorce

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa

I had a protection order against my soon to be ex husband for domestic violence. It was for one year. I went to court to have it extended and the judge denied the extension saying there were no grounds to extend it.

He was violent towards me during the marriage.
He attacked my son and was criminally prosecuted and found guilty of assault.
He lives in the neighborhood.
I do honestly feel threatened. I know what he is and I know he will do something to get his revenge on me.
He has had two five year no contact orders with two different women.
One of the women he ran her boyfriend over and broke his leg.

He also perjured himself on the stand.
He told the judge of two occasions he had seen me. On one occasion he said that I was standing outside of a pizza shop being loud. He heard me so he drove away. He siad he didn't see me just heard me. He also said that I had swerved into the parking lot and parked next to him. Obviously these statements do not add up. He lied. He had never seen me outside the pizza shop. I'm 41 years old I don't stand outside pizza shops in a strip mall shouting. If he had to describe exactly how that could have happened then he couldn't.

He alleged I stood and stared at him while he was leaving our local store. But it would have been impossible based on where he said he was and where I was.

In addition he lied about what he had said at a previous hearing when I accused him of violating the order. He had put a notice for the mailman in my mailbox to have his mailed forwarded somewhere else. It had his signature on. The judge denied the violation because he said I couldn't prove that he had put it in my mailbox.

At the extension hearing he said he had spoken with the post office and they had told him the card was nothing to do with him that it is something they send out to notify me that someone has applied for a change of address. Those are two different things. He didn't say that at the violation hearing. His defence at that time was that he had completed the card but he didn't know how it had ended up in my mailbox.

I don't have an attorney and he does. I don't have the money for an attorney.

I want to appeal the judgement.

How would I go about making a case for the judge to agree to extend the order?
How can I have him held accountable for perjuring himself on the stand?
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
How would I go about making a case for the judge to agree to extend the order?
You don't. The judge already decided that there are no grounds for extending the order. Stuff that happened before the original order is irrelevant. If there are any NEW incidents, you can apply for a new order, but the judge's decision on the old order is final (in theory, it could be appealed, but that would be a total waste of time and energy).

How can I have him held accountable for perjuring himself on the stand?
If you have evidence that he committed perjury, you can give it to the District Attorney and see if they want to prosecute. Don't be surprised when they don't' want to get involved, though.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Based on her recitation of facts, she does NOT have anything for perjury. Unless he committed NEW transgressions that she can prove, she is not going to get a new protection order. And if he had completed new transgressions while she had a protection order, she should have contacted the police and made reports so that he could be investigated and possibly arrested.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Based on her recitation of facts, she does NOT have anything for perjury. Unless he committed NEW transgressions that she can prove, she is not going to get a new protection order. And if he had completed new transgressions while she had a protection order, she should have contacted the police and made reports so that he could be investigated and possibly arrested.
I wasn't going to try to make sense of the 'he said, she said' stuff. Even if she was correct, it's such a trivial matter that the DA would laugh at her for bringing it to his attention.
 

tryin2divorce

Junior Member
I wasn't going to try to make sense of the 'he said, she said' stuff. Even if she was correct, it's such a trivial matter that the DA would laugh at her for bringing it to his attention.
Hello! I'm still here.

Maybe I should give some background. He beat me during the marriage. We were involved in a church that we attended 5 evenings a week and Sunday. The church wanted me to keep it in the church. We were getting counseling from our pastor, his wife and the pastor from another church. It was all about what I could do to avoid conflict.

I cracked when he attacked my then 14 year old son. He bit him and gouged at him trying to drag him out of the car while I held onto him for dear life. He gouged long deep chunks of skin that ran all down his face and neck. His eyes were bloodshot from where his nails had raked through his eyes on his actual eyeballs. He bit down so hard on my sons thumb and fingers that his teeth had broken through the skin on the palms of my sons hands. All the time his daughters aged 7 and 10 were frozen in the back of the car.

When he stepped back he dragged his daughters out of the car and I just put my foot to the gas pedal. I drove straight to the police station and filed charges. Our pastor and our church blamed me and my son. The pastor wanted to know what we had done for him to do that. The church bailed him out of jail and closed ranks. They turned their backs on me and my son.

We lost our family. We're immigrants and we don't have family here. These people were our family and they turned on us like that. I was left with a few bruises and my battered and broken son. So I'm not trying to be petty. I'm just, I don't know. I want my divorce and I don't want him to be able to come near me. And he will. My son has an automatic five year order because he was found guilty of assault in criminal court.

He's a dangerous individual and I'm trying to protect myself.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Hello! I'm still here.

Maybe I should give some background. He beat me during the marriage. We were involved in a church that we attended 5 evenings a week and Sunday. The church wanted me to keep it in the church. We were getting counseling from our pastor, his wife and the pastor from another church. It was all about what I could do to avoid conflict.

I cracked when he attacked my then 14 year old son. He bit him and gouged at him trying to drag him out of the car while I held onto him for dear life. He gouged long deep chunks of skin that ran all down his face and neck. His eyes were bloodshot from where his nails had raked through his eyes on his actual eyeballs. He bit down so hard on my sons thumb and fingers that his teeth had broken through the skin on the palms of my sons hands. All the time his daughters aged 7 and 10 were frozen in the back of the car.

When he stepped back he dragged his daughters out of the car and I just put my foot to the gas pedal. I drove straight to the police station and filed charges. Our pastor and our church blamed me and my son. The pastor wanted to know what we had done for him to do that. The church bailed him out of jail and closed ranks. They turned their backs on me and my son.

We lost our family. We're immigrants and we don't have family here. These people were our family and they turned on us like that. I was left with a few bruises and my battered and broken son. So I'm not trying to be petty. I'm just, I don't know. I want my divorce and I don't want him to be able to come near me. And he will. My son has an automatic five year order because he was found guilty of assault in criminal court.

He's a dangerous individual and I'm trying to protect myself.
Sorry, but it doesn't matter.

All of that was considered by the judge when you asked for an extension. The judge determined that there was no justification for an extension. You can't go back and ask again.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
My son has an automatic five year order because he was found guilty of assault in criminal court.
So your son was protected by a five year order? Well your son lives with you, correct?
 

tryin2divorce

Junior Member
Sorry, but it doesn't matter.

All of that was considered by the judge when you asked for an extension. The judge determined that there was no justification for an extension. You can't go back and ask again.
Thanks. I know. I'm just venting really. I know everyone thinks their situation is the hardest situation to be in. I don't think that but I'm just so tired of it. It seems that every which way I turn he screws me over.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
OP had her chance to prove her case and failed to do so. The judge heard both sides and made a decision. There is nothing to indicate that it was the wrong decision.

OP, make sure you have good locks on your door. If you can swing it, get an alarm system. Put 911 on speed dial. Consider self-defense training at your local Y. Be aware of your surroundings. Keep your doors locked at all times. And so on.

If, and only if, you are comfortable with your training, skills, experience, and ability to respond appropriately in an emergency, consider firearm training. But I would advise against it unless you are absolutely certain you can handle it safely.
 
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