3 year old agreement/CO out of date

[chronicle]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

Split in 7/2008
Separation Agreement signed 2/2009
Divorce Final/SA incorporated by court 3/2010

This SA plan was out of date even before it was incorporated in 2010 in terms of the actual custody schedule, financial information (Dad's finances have changed), and especially the summer schedule.

In 2011, I had my atty draw up a consent order based on what we were ACTUALLY doing, but Dad refused to read or sign it, saying "I know you're just trying to screw me" (in all honesty, the consent order was EXACTLY what we have been doing by agreement anyway.)

I do have an atty, but am trying to get an idea of where I stand and what I can do before paying a bunch of money to hear it from her! In NC, can I request a review of the SA/CO based on status quo? I know the financials can be contemp (he has paid not one cent of anything he owes me) but those numbers should also be reviewed as he was unemployed when we wrote the agreement.

The financials are the least of my concerns right now. I'd really like to push for a review or mediation or hearing on the custody schedule. Can anyone advise on procedure and likelihood of success in NC?

 

[gam]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

Split in 7/2008
Separation Agreement signed 2/2009
Divorce Final/SA incorporated by court 3/2010

This SA plan was out of date even before it was incorporated in 2010 in terms of the actual custody schedule, financial information (Dad's finances have changed), and especially the summer schedule.

In 2011, I had my atty draw up a consent order based on what we were ACTUALLY doing, but Dad refused to read or sign it, saying "I know you're just trying to screw me" (in all honesty, the consent order was EXACTLY what we have been doing by agreement anyway.)

I do have an atty, but am trying to get an idea of where I stand and what I can do before paying a bunch of money to hear it from her! In NC, can I request a review of the SA/CO based on status quo? I know the financials can be contemp (he has paid not one cent of anything he owes me) but those numbers should also be reviewed as he was unemployed when we wrote the agreement.

The financials are the least of my concerns right now. I'd really like to push for a review or mediation or hearing on the custody schedule. Can anyone advise on procedure and likelihood of success in NC?

It would help if you told us what the SA/CO states as far as time. Also help if you told us what you have actually been doing as far as time. What are the reasons for the changes to the orginial order?

 

[chronicle]

response to gam

I tried to find my older thread that had all this in it, but couldn’t locate it, so I apologize for the new thread!!!!!

Wording from the Court Order:

The Father shall pick CHILD up from school every other Friday and keep the minor child ofr the weekend, being Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights, and on Monday morning he shall return the child to the Mother’s house.

The Father shall have the child overnight every Thursday night, to pick the child up from school on Thursday and to return the child to school on Friday morning.

For CHILD’s summer vacation, each party shall have the right to the child for two uninterrupted weeks upon a minimum of thirty days notice to the other party

Unless otherwise agreed by the parties, once the 50/50 custody is implemented (contingent upon Father finding suitable living arnagement), it shall be as follows:
Monday and Tuesday overnights with the Mother
Wednesday and Thursday overnights with the Father
Each party shall have the child every other weekend from Friday pick-up from school until Monday morning return to school

CHILD SUPPORT
That neither party shall be obligated to pay child support to the other at this time. The Mother shall continue to maintain minor child’s health insurance. In addition the Mother shall pay the first $100 per year of deductable, co-payments, or other medical, dental or pharmeceutical expenses not paid for by insurance; any such expenditures in excess of $100 in a calendar year shall be paid equally by both parties. Further Father shall pay all afterschool care costs. Each paty shall pay half of all summer care related costs.


The Consent Order (that he refused to read or sign- “I know you’re just trying to scrw me!”) changed things as follows to reflect status quo:
-Acknowledged that Father had suitable living arrangements and that 50/50 had been implemented
-The 50/50 changed to Sunday-Sunday/ Every other week
-Afterschool care costs are to be paid by each parent on their custodial weeks
-Summer care costs are to be paid by each parent on their custodial weeks

Other issues:
-Father has not paid a CENT in medical, dental or pharm bills since split in 2009
-Child is failing school on Father’s weeks (test scores at 13%, behavior scores at “F”; Mom’s weeks, test scores between 85-100%, Behavior mostly “B”, but a few “C”)
-Child greatly prefers Father’s house- fewer rules, his girlfriends kids to play with (it’s her house) unlimited screen time, no homework checking, no bedtime
-Father will not communicate with Mother about child

 

[gam]

Have no clue why dad would not sign, it's 50/50, he won't get better then that.

So dad is not paying any of the medical, is he paying the after school care? How is this all suppose to be paid, directly to you, to the facilities or to the CS office? I would be contacting the CS office and seeing what you have to do to have them help in collecting. Not familiar myself with the process in NC, sorry.

I would really think on the 50/50 a bit more, with the childs grades and behavior not being so good on dads weeks. What forms of communication have you tried? Sometimes when ones can't talk over the phone, emailing works better. If you have tried that, then you need to get something in your order on communication. Form of communication to use, time frame to answer each party back on that communication. Mediation seems a good possiblity to get dad started on that communication, then if that does not work, you can have the Judge make the order, and add in something on communication.

Do you get phone calls when the child is at dads? That could be a good way of helping the child get their homework done. You can also ask for phone calls, online contact to help the child. Is there in online homework help with the school system the child is in?