girlwapuppytat
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI
I'm trying to figure out if I'm doing everything right. My brother is mentally slow. Growing up, my mom didn't want him "labeled by the government" so she insisted he attend regular school. He did poorly, but did graduate. He kind of has the mentality of maybe a 12 year old or so. He then worked as a farm hand for about 10 years. Then he had a tooth ache which was so severe he had to have mandibluar blocks (huge needle shot in the side of the head to numb the pain) He was also prescribed an antidepressant, but NOT for depression, it was meant to help with pain also. At about that time ( I think the two are related, but that's another story), he started getting iritable bowel type symptoms, which got worse and worse. He came to live with me. He tells everyone that the farmer sold the farm, and that's true, but if he'd not, my brother would not have been able to continue working. He now won't leave the house because he's afraid of having an accident. I tried buying different food, nothing helped. He must use the bathroom 5-6 times in the morning-afternoon, on good days. He did have some kind of county insurance for a while, and they paid for some tests, but nothing could diagnose what was wrong. Then he lost the insurance, and a kind nurse told him to try imodium, which he's now taken 3-4 times a day for the last 3 years. It helps him so that by the end of the afternoon, he's not confined to the house, he will go for short walks or jog, but never more than a few blocks away.
I talked to some coworkers who said I should try to get him disability or something. So I saw a sign for a lawyer nearby and went. That was last fall. He send my brother to some kind of psychologist dr, or some kind of dr, I don't think she was a medical dr, but a mental one or something. He said she asked him word problems and like riddles or something.
The lawyer doesn't seem like he thinks he will get disability. He didn't outright say this, but I just think it by how he acts. I know they aren't supposed to make promises or whatever, but I don't think he's enthusiastic. He said once, that because my brother worked as a farm hand, the gov't will want to know why he can't do that, so his real disability is the IBS-type stuff.
People who meet my brother are surprised to learn he's not getting some kind of assistance for his obvious mental challenge. I feel like I am maybe doing something wrong here. He was also raised to not want to be considered disabled. The lawyer was asking him about working, and he kept saying how he'd like to get a job somehow. I just can't imagine him being able to work... why would someone hire a person they see is mentally slow, or why would they hire someone whom needs to use the restroom 10 times a shift? He's got a lot of pride, but he has admitted to me that there's not a lot of jobs he could see himself doing sucessfully because he'd need to use the bathroom so much he'd be fired probably.
I'm sorry this is so long, but I am trying to be thorough so if anyone wants to give me any ideas of what else I can do, or what I am not doing right? The lawyer said it'd help if he had more recent dr. visits, since the last ones were 3 years ago when they all gave up on diagnosing him and he lost the insurance.... I am just hoping to be able to afford the cost.
It's also just a dumb observation I keep making to myself. I'm divorced and he's lived with me since around the divorce (and has been waaaay nicer to live with than my ex lol) If he was my spouse, he'd be able to be on my work's health insurance. Obviously I can't marry him. I have no interest in remarriage myself, but I'd totally marry someone else's sibling in the same situation as me if they'd marry mine, and we'd all have insurance lol Is that illegal? Kinda like "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry" with a twist LOL *sigh* I just wish he could be on my insurance so he could get some medication, there's this one he could have taken, but with no insurance it was like $350/mo.
I'm trying to figure out if I'm doing everything right. My brother is mentally slow. Growing up, my mom didn't want him "labeled by the government" so she insisted he attend regular school. He did poorly, but did graduate. He kind of has the mentality of maybe a 12 year old or so. He then worked as a farm hand for about 10 years. Then he had a tooth ache which was so severe he had to have mandibluar blocks (huge needle shot in the side of the head to numb the pain) He was also prescribed an antidepressant, but NOT for depression, it was meant to help with pain also. At about that time ( I think the two are related, but that's another story), he started getting iritable bowel type symptoms, which got worse and worse. He came to live with me. He tells everyone that the farmer sold the farm, and that's true, but if he'd not, my brother would not have been able to continue working. He now won't leave the house because he's afraid of having an accident. I tried buying different food, nothing helped. He must use the bathroom 5-6 times in the morning-afternoon, on good days. He did have some kind of county insurance for a while, and they paid for some tests, but nothing could diagnose what was wrong. Then he lost the insurance, and a kind nurse told him to try imodium, which he's now taken 3-4 times a day for the last 3 years. It helps him so that by the end of the afternoon, he's not confined to the house, he will go for short walks or jog, but never more than a few blocks away.
I talked to some coworkers who said I should try to get him disability or something. So I saw a sign for a lawyer nearby and went. That was last fall. He send my brother to some kind of psychologist dr, or some kind of dr, I don't think she was a medical dr, but a mental one or something. He said she asked him word problems and like riddles or something.
The lawyer doesn't seem like he thinks he will get disability. He didn't outright say this, but I just think it by how he acts. I know they aren't supposed to make promises or whatever, but I don't think he's enthusiastic. He said once, that because my brother worked as a farm hand, the gov't will want to know why he can't do that, so his real disability is the IBS-type stuff.
People who meet my brother are surprised to learn he's not getting some kind of assistance for his obvious mental challenge. I feel like I am maybe doing something wrong here. He was also raised to not want to be considered disabled. The lawyer was asking him about working, and he kept saying how he'd like to get a job somehow. I just can't imagine him being able to work... why would someone hire a person they see is mentally slow, or why would they hire someone whom needs to use the restroom 10 times a shift? He's got a lot of pride, but he has admitted to me that there's not a lot of jobs he could see himself doing sucessfully because he'd need to use the bathroom so much he'd be fired probably.
I'm sorry this is so long, but I am trying to be thorough so if anyone wants to give me any ideas of what else I can do, or what I am not doing right? The lawyer said it'd help if he had more recent dr. visits, since the last ones were 3 years ago when they all gave up on diagnosing him and he lost the insurance.... I am just hoping to be able to afford the cost.
It's also just a dumb observation I keep making to myself. I'm divorced and he's lived with me since around the divorce (and has been waaaay nicer to live with than my ex lol) If he was my spouse, he'd be able to be on my work's health insurance. Obviously I can't marry him. I have no interest in remarriage myself, but I'd totally marry someone else's sibling in the same situation as me if they'd marry mine, and we'd all have insurance lol Is that illegal? Kinda like "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry" with a twist LOL *sigh* I just wish he could be on my insurance so he could get some medication, there's this one he could have taken, but with no insurance it was like $350/mo.
