CP relocation due to job

[microbes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

I'm the custodial parent. I was laid off last July from a company I worked for for 7 years. Since getting laid off, I have gotten consistent contract work, the current one going on 7 months long but it's not a permanent position. I was told that I should get a permanent offer soon but that has been going on for 2 months. The company just went through a merger so I understand the delay. When I go from contract to full-time employee, my salary will take a substantial decrease of about 20K a year. I'm currently sitting on an offer from company in San Francisco. The offer is bout 35K more than I'm currently making as a contractor and about 50K+ more if I am to accept a permanent position (when the offer comes anyway) in Illinois. I have refused opportunities in the past to work for a well known tech company due to the custody/visitation arrangement. My specific field of work in technology is very rare still. I'm considering it now due to the realization that there's not as much opportunities for me in Illinois. I basically would have to retrain and refocus my skillset.

To make the long story short or shorter, I'm looking to move to California. I have custody of our son and she gets every other weekends for visitations. I have 2 children that I have custody off and support 100% and am also getting married in a couple months. My fiance is a nurse so her job is very flexible and as a matter of fact she is to make more in California than she does in Illinois.

Before I get flamed, I just want express that the reason for the move has nothing to do with alienation. I am willing to work out the best arrangement we can in such situation, whatever that may be considering the distance. I thought about possibly splitting the summers and trips a couple of times a year during vacations and definitely during the holidays.

My ex has never been cooperative with anything so I figure if and when I decide to pursue this job offer that I would have to go to court.

By the way, my ex is on unemployment/welfare. Have always tried to get out of the very little child support she pays and have always told the judge she is about to get evicted and had recently just had a child who she doesnt get support for.

What are my chances that the judge would allow me us to relocate?

 

[ecmst12]

On a purely practical note, have you taken into account the MASSIVE difference in cost of living between IL and CA? It's very expensive to live in California, the increased salary you'd be getting is most likely not going to leave you much better off than you are now, plus you'll have to pay for transportation for visitation.

 

[MichaCA]

On a purely practical note, have you taken into account the MASSIVE difference in cost of living between IL and CA? It's very expensive to live in California, the increased salary you'd be getting is most likely not going to leave you much better off than you are now, plus you'll have to pay for transportation for visitation.

That was my thought too. I don't know the cost of living where you live now. I live about an hour north of SF - the rent for a one bedroom - a low price is $2,000 month. The average is more $2,600 and up. Thats a one bedroom. The housing market is VERY competitive in San Francisco as well...unless you have months and months to shop, you will probably pay a higher rent just to get something.

Also factor in (as a mediator advised me) the cost of transporting the child back and forth. Call the airlines and get the cost - will he need to be accompanied by an adult? For how many years? How long is the trip? Is there another trip after you get to the airport in IL? Stuff like that makes a big difference in the kind of visitation schedule you can offer.
(this is all barring lack of knowledge as to how IL looks at move-aways - there is a Ohio lawyer here)

Not trying to discourage you, but it is EXPENSIVE out here.

 

[peppier]

What are my chances that the judge would allow me us to relocate?[/QUOTE]

I know this doesn't answer your question but there are sites out there that do an analysis of the cost of living compared to where you live now and where you are planning to move. Just put "cost of living comparison" in a search engine.

 

[Just Blue]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=78937

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

I'm the custodial parent. I was laid off last July from a company I worked for for 7 years. Since getting laid off, I have gotten consistent contract work, the current one going on 7 months long but it's not a permanent position. I was told that I should get a permanent offer soon but that has been going on for 2 months. The company just went through a merger so I understand the delay. When I go from contract to full-time employee, my salary will take a substantial decrease of about 20K a year. I'm currently sitting on an offer from company in San Francisco. The offer is bout 35K more than I'm currently making as a contractor and about 50K+ more if I am to accept a permanent position (when the offer comes anyway) in Illinois. I have refused opportunities in the past to work for a well known tech company due to the custody/visitation arrangement. My specific field of work in technology is very rare still. I'm considering it now due to the realization that there's not as much opportunities for me in Illinois. I basically would have to retrain and refocus my skillset.

To make the long story short or shorter, I'm looking to move to California. I have custody of our son and she gets every other weekends for visitations. I have 2 children that I have custody off and support 100% and am also getting married in a couple months. My fiance is a nurse so her job is very flexible and as a matter of fact she is to make more in California than she does in Illinois.

Before I get flamed, I just want express that the reason for the move has nothing to do with alienation. I am willing to work out the best arrangement we can in such situation, whatever that may be considering the distance. I thought about possibly splitting the summers and trips a couple of times a year during vacations and definitely during the holidays.

My ex has never been cooperative with anything so I figure if and when I decide to pursue this job offer that I would have to go to court.

By the way, my ex is on unemployment/welfare. Have always tried to get out of the very little child support she pays and have always told the judge she is about to get evicted and had recently just had a child who she doesnt get support for.

What are my chances that the judge would allow me us to relocate?

Besides the fact that your financial logic is faulty (as the others have said, and as the judge will know), the odds are maybe somewhere in the 50/50 range. The judge will have to determine what is more disrupting to the child...to be separated from mom and the place they have known as home all their lives, or to be separated from you. In either scenario, you would end up responsible for 100% of the transportation for visitation.

If I were in your shoes I would not make the move. Your financial situation will not improve, and in fact may end up being worse.

 

[birdbrain53]

That was my thought too. I don't know the cost of living where you live now. I live about an hour north of SF - the rent for a one bedroom - a low price is $2,000 month. The average is more $2,600 and up. Thats a one bedroom. The housing market is VERY competitive in San Francisco as well...unless you have months and months to shop, you will probably pay a higher rent just to get something.

Also factor in (as a mediator advised me) the cost of transporting the child back and forth. Call the airlines and get the cost - will he need to be accompanied by an adult? For how many years? How long is the trip? Is there another trip after you get to the airport in IL? Stuff like that makes a big difference in the kind of visitation schedule you can offer.
(this is all barring lack of knowledge as to how IL looks at move-aways - there is a Ohio lawyer here)

Not trying to discourage you, but it is EXPENSIVE out here.

Hi MichaCA,


I'm in the South Bay (Santa Clara County).

A one bedroom apt down here is around $1300. Some top of the line places are $2k but there's plenty of older places that aren't.

OP will have two incomes so that could work fine, nurses are always needed, and yes, the pay rate for nurses here is quite a bit higher.

The OP can certainly find affordable housing by checking Craigslist and NOT living in SF proper. Skip most of the East Bay except for parts of Fremont and Piedmont area. Skip Solano County (schools are not good). Napa County is too expensive. Marin County is too expensive. Sonoma County is getting expensive, the commute sucks. Parts of the Peninsula have good schools, too expensive (think Atherton). Parts of the Penisula are more affordable. OP does not want to live in East Palo Alto either. Always in the news for a murder.

Most 3 Br/2Ba houses down here are $2300 - 3200 depending on the school district. That's what the OP needs to check for - school districts.

Gas is around $4.29 for regular in the South Bay.

OP will have to get used to California Casual but one upside is that there are more tech companies in the Bay Area.
OP will have to pay transportation costs, but total cost depends on where in IL the kids will have to fly to. It's usually around $400 - 500 pp or so RT.

 

[single317dad]

What are my chances that the judge would allow me us to relocate?

I think a more relevant question would be "What are the chances that Mom will allow you to relocate?" (hint hint)

 

[MichaCA]

Hi MichaCA,


I'm in the South Bay (Santa Clara County).

A one bedroom apt down here is around $1300. Some top of the line places are $2k but there's plenty of older places that aren't.

OP will have two incomes so that could work fine, nurses are always needed, and yes, the pay rate for nurses here is quite a bit higher.

The OP can certainly find affordable housing by checking Craigslist and NOT living in SF proper. Skip most of the East Bay except for parts of Fremont and Piedmont area. Skip Solano County (schools are not good). Napa County is too expensive. Marin County is too expensive. Sonoma County is getting expensive, the commute sucks. Parts of the Peninsula have good schools, too expensive (think Atherton). Parts of the Penisula are more affordable. OP does not want to live in East Palo Alto either. Always in the news for a murder.

Most 3 Br/2Ba houses down here are $2300 - 3200 depending on the school district. That's what the OP needs to check for - school districts.

Gas is around $4.29 for regular in the South Bay.

OP will have to get used to California Casual but one upside is that there are more tech companies in the Bay Area.
OP will have to pay transportation costs, but total cost depends on where in IL the kids will have to fly to. It's usually around $400 - 500 pp or so RT.

Thanks for clarifying - I was looking at the city of San Francisco specifically. I guess thats part of the deal moving to the Bay area - you have to learn where to move. And I also would keep the commutes in mind. I do know if a job ends at 5 and they commute from Bay area north, its hours (2 plus) to get home.

OP, My humble experience in relocation is what everyone above has said AND, something I failed to do when requesting mine. Perhaps do this background search first about rentals in specific affordable areas, that have great schools. Find something that proves the area higher paying for your field and will have more jobs overall. And dittoing Birdbrain; is there a direct flight to return child or another trip after arriving in Chicago? etc., etc. Get more knowledge than you think you need for when questions come. Perhaps a copy of the letter of the job offer.

In the end, it is about the best interests of the child. Personally, not legally, I wouldn't want to put a child through all that travel to maintain a relationship with their mom (or pay the high cost), especially when they are younger and still developing. But thats me, I'm quirky in some ways.