Power of Attorney Spending Large Amounts Of Money On Himself

[RRH1964]

I'm in Texas. My oldest brother became Power of Attorney in February 2011 when my mother had a stroke and was deemed medically unable to handle her finances any longer. He took over handling all the money of my mother's estate, which included 3 or more bank accounts. We are hearing and seeing that he is using large amounts of her money for himself, buying visibly substantial items with her money for himself. Her will states that the money is to be equally divided between her 3 children upon her passing, but at this rate there may not be any left. Oldest brother will not share current financial information even when asked by other brother and sister. He has made only one verbal statement trying to say that the amount of her accounts only totaled around $75,000 when he took them over, but we already know she had over
$160,000 in one account alone. How can we truthfully find out the total amount of money he took over? Will this have to be done by bank subpoenas when my mother passes and the will is read? My main question is, how will we be able to prove how much money he has wasted on himself if we don't know how much money he started out with?

Also we were basically told before that there's nothing we can do to stop him from spending up all of her money, short of hiring a lawyer, which we can't afford. Is this true, there's nothing we can do?

Thanks in advance to anyone who can help. We are at wit's end.

 

[justalayman]

We are hearing and seeing that he is using large amounts of her money for himself, buying visibly substantial items with her money for himself.

Ok, case closed. Abuse of a POA is a real problem and allows a civil action for sure and in some circumstances, criminal action.

How can we truthfully find out the total amount of money he took over? Will this have to be done by bank subpoenas when my mother passes and the will is read?

You really want to wait that long? What if he spends all the money before mom passes and there isn't enough for her care? Thinking about what is left is a bit of a greedy thing honestly. If he is stealing mom's money, something needs to be done about it now before he steals all of her money.

Also we were basically told before that there's nothing we can do to stop him from spending up all of her money, short of hiring a lawyer, which we can't afford. Is this true, there's nothing we can do?

and then it all went to Hell.

If you cannot afford to do anything about it, about all you can do is stand and watch as he does whatever he wants to do. Sorry.

 

[RRH1964]

Ok, case closed. Abuse of a POA is a real problem and allows a civil action for sure and in some circumstances, criminal action.


You really want to wait that long? What if he spends all the money before mom passes and there isn't enough for her care? Thinking about what is left is a bit of a greedy thing honestly. If he is stealing mom's money, something needs to be done about it now before he steals all of her money.



and then it all went to Hell.

If you cannot afford to do anything about it, about all you can do is stand and watch as he does whatever he wants to do. Sorry.

So he gets to do something illegal and get away with it because we're poor? I was reading in another thread here where someone had a similar problem and they were advised to report it to Adult Protective Services. (Social Services, DCF, DHS, whatever it might be called) Is this not a possibility?

 

[Isis1]

So he gets to do something illegal and get away with it because we're poor? I was reading in another thread here where someone had a similar problem and they were advised to report it to Adult Protective Services. (Social Services, DCF, DHS, whatever it might be called) Is this not a possibility?

you can, but you never once mentioned your mother was not being taken care of, being provided for, being abuse or neglected......all you talked about was how the brother was spending your portion of YOUR inheritence. Adult Services don't care about your inheritence.

 

[justalayman]

It's worth a shot but be aware, their ability to investigate is limited by money as well as legal constraints. They don't have an unlimited source of money and what they can do is limited as well due to legal constraints.

 

[RRH1964]

you can, but you never once mentioned your mother was not being taken care of, being provided for, being abuse or neglected......all you talked about was how the brother was spending your portion of YOUR inheritence. Adult Services don't care about your inheritence.

My mother is in a nursing home, her monthly retirement check pays for her staying there. Oldest brother does not interfere with that. She is being well taken care of as far as that goes. What's going on with the money she and my father saved for all of their lives is a whole nother story. As I said, oldest brother is spending it all on himself. Which is definitely not what my mother nor father intended to happen.

(comment to justalayman) Oh and by the way, I just reread and noticed where you made the "greedy" comment. Not at all. You're reading intentions into this that aren't there. Her monthly care is paid for and will be until she passes. The point is oldest brother is spending mother and father's life savings and abusing his priviledge.

 

[Isis1]

My mother is in a nursing home, her monthly retirement check pays for her staying there. Oldest brother does not interfere with that. She is being well taken care of as far as that goes. What's going on with the money she and my father saved for all of their lives is a whole nother story. As I said, oldest brother is spending it all on himself. Which is definitely not what my mother nor father intended to happen.
Oh and by the way, I just reread and noticed where you made the "greedy" comment. Not at all. You're reading intentions into this that aren't there. Her monthly care is paid for and will be until she passes. The point is oldest brother is spending mother and father's life savings and abusing his priviledge.

as you have already been told...you need to hire your own attorney. it doesn't change anything. it's up to you. how badly do you want your mother's hard earned savings?

 

[justalayman]

My mother is in a nursing home, her monthly retirement check pays for her staying there. Oldest brother does not interfere with that. She is being well taken care of as far as that goes. What's going on with the money she and my father saved for all of their lives is a whole nother story. As I said, oldest brother is spending it all on himself. Which is definitely not what my mother nor father intended to happen.

(comment to justalayman) Oh and by the way, I just reread and noticed where you made the "greedy" comment. Not at all. You're reading intentions into this that aren't there. Her monthly care is paid for and will be until she passes. The point is oldest brother is spending mother and father's life savings and abusing his priviledge.

and if you will re-read what I wrote, I did explain the being concerned for the money you referred to as your inheritance is simple greed and my position remains the same. If you were concerned about mom's money, then that is something different but you went and explained how the inheritance was supposed to be divided and all which means you were thinking of the money as inheritance, not mom's money.

Her will states that the money is to be equally divided between her 3 children upon her passing, but at this rate there may not be any left.

sorry but I call 'em as I see 'em.

 

[RRH1964]

and if you will re-read what I wrote, I did explain the being concerned for the money you referred to as your inheritance is simple greed and my position remains the same. If you were concerned about mom's money, then that is something different but you went and explained how the inheritance was supposed to be divided and all which means you were thinking of the money as inheritance, not mom's money.



sorry but I call 'em as I see 'em.

Let me just say that you have no idea of the long backstory that goes with this, and I don't know that anyone would even be interested in reading. My brother is not a nice guy, never has been a nice guy, and never will be a nice guy. My middle brother and I have been the ones who have done everything in the world for my mom and dad, my oldest brother never lifted a finger and never cared. Now let me ask you this.. if YOU were in my shoes, what would you do? Just sit back and watch?

 

[Isis1]

Let me just say that you have no idea of the long backstory that goes with this, and I don't know that anyone would even be interested in reading. My brother is not a nice guy, never has been a nice guy, and never will be a nice guy. My middle brother and I have been the ones who have done everything in the world for my mom and dad, my oldest brother never lifted a finger and never cared. Now let me ask you this.. if YOU were in my shoes, what would you do? Just sit back and watch?

he would get an attorney.

you know...i got to say....if your brother was such an awful person from the start...why didn't any of you other siblings take on POA from the beginning? no one was THAT concerned about mom?

 

[Gail in Georgia]

Nursing Homes tend to be very expensive; your mother would need to have a significant retirement check to cover the monthly cost of this. I say this because there is a possibility that at least some of the cost of her stay may be coming out of these accounts and that is why they are shrinking in amount.

Gail

 

[RRH1964]

as you have already been told...you need to hire your own attorney. it doesn't change anything. it's up to you. how badly do you want your mother's hard earned savings?

Is this the bashing forum? I'm not the bad guy here. And as I said before, we cannot afford a lawyer. I don't want her money, and maybe I'm not eloquent in the way I phrased things, but how else do I explain it all so you'll understand? We don't want my oldest brother spending up money that is not his. Is that wrong?

 

[tranquility]

My brother is not a nice guy, never has been a nice guy, and never will be a nice guy. My middle brother and I have been the ones who have done everything in the world for my mom and dad, my oldest brother never lifted a finger and never cared. Now let me ask you this.. if YOU were in my shoes, what would you do? Just sit back and watch?

Yet, mom chose him on the durable power of attorney.

While a person who can inherit may have standing (ability to sue) on such an issue, it is not an easy or common lawsuit to oust an attorney-in-fact when the principal is incompetent. We are talking about many areas of law which can interact in odd ways depending on the exact facts.

Without an attorney, just sit back and watch. With an attorney? I'm not sure you have something, but at least there would probably be an accounting during litigation.

 

[RRH1964]

he would get an attorney.

you know...i got to say....if your brother was such an awful person from the start...why didn't any of you other siblings take on POA from the beginning? no one was THAT concerned about mom?

Oldest brother was appointed POA years ago, it's in the will. Normally the eldest child gets the priviledge.

 

[justalayman]

Let me just say that you have no idea of the long backstory that goes with this, and I don't know that anyone would even be interested in reading. My brother is not a nice guy, never has been a nice guy, and never will be a nice guy. My middle brother and I have been the ones who have done everything in the world for my mom and dad, my oldest brother never lifted a finger and never cared. Now let me ask you this.. if YOU were in my shoes, what would you do? Just sit back and watch?

first, as Isis said, if bro was such a bad guy, why is he POA? If brother never did anything, why is he POA?

and what I would do is irrelevant here but just as you, what I did would be limited to what funds I have available and/or what I was able to do on my own in court.


sorry but a will does not appoint a POA. In fact, a POA ceases (in almost every case) upon death of the testator.

and arguing the eldest gets privilege is a cop out.