Modifying custody

[wolfcreekgal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

My case began 3 years ago in the state of Wyoming. A judge there ordered joint legal with the father being the CP. Neither of us had a lawyer and dad won with a letter from a daycare provider, also stating he planned to live in Wyoming forever as he'd just purchased a home there. A mere three months after the hearing, he moved with our son to Illinois. I hired two different attorneys to protest this move, but was told ONLY in Wyoming can the CP move (ANY distance) without the court's or other parent's permission. I was informed by these attorney's I would have to wait six months for the CP to establish residency in Illinois before I could attempt any legal action. I was so heartbroken as I went from seeing my child almost daily to seeing him 2 and a half months a year. My son was 4 years old at this time and he is now 7.

I wound up moving to Texas six months after the CP moved and hired an Illinois attorney to A. register a foreign in the state of Illinois and B. Attempt to change custody in a modification hearing. I have a hearing scheduled in September as it took him that long to accomplish this (he was retained almost two years ago). During this time, the CP has monitored all phone calls with my son, telling him what and what not to say, IF I can talk to him longer than a minute or two, that is. My order states I am allowed to call three times a week at 7:00 PM and for at least 30 minutes. Yet, when I call at this time, I always have to leave a message and IF my son calls me back, it's typically around 8:30-9:00 PM and he can't talk but a minute or two as he has to go to sleep. I have phone records proving this. CP controls all visitations without my input and doesn't even let me know if child will be here or not until the very last minute, making it very difficult to make any plans for him on my end. The little time my son IS with me and his dad exercises his court given right to phone calls to him, he constantly grills him and tries to coax him into saying negative things about me. So, even when he is here with me, his dad tries to make things difficult.

According to my research over the past few years, I have enough to possibly modify custody. One of the biggest changes being the move that I was not given the legal right to protest. And then all of the things that have transpired due to that move. Parental interference and not fostering the mother/child bond seem to be pretty big, but big enough to win? What do you guys think? Thanks!

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

My case began 3 years ago in the state of Wyoming. A judge there ordered joint legal with the father being the CP. Neither of us had a lawyer and dad won with a letter from a daycare provider, also stating he planned to live in Wyoming forever as he'd just purchased a home there. A mere three months after the hearing, he moved with our son to Illinois. I hired two different attorneys to protest this move, but was told ONLY in Wyoming can the CP move (ANY distance) without the court's or other parent's permission. I was informed by these attorney's I would have to wait six months for the CP to establish residency in Illinois before I could attempt any legal action. I was so heartbroken as I went from seeing my child almost daily to seeing him 2 and a half months a year. My son was 4 years old at this time and he is now 7.

I wound up moving to Texas six months after the CP moved and hired an Illinois attorney to A. register a foreign in the state of Illinois and B. Attempt to change custody in a modification hearing. I have a hearing scheduled in September as it took him that long to accomplish this (he was retained almost two years ago). During this time, the CP has monitored all phone calls with my son, telling him what and what not to say, IF I can talk to him longer than a minute or two, that is. My order states I am allowed to call three times a week at 7:00 PM and for at least 30 minutes. Yet, when I call at this time, I always have to leave a message and IF my son calls me back, it's typically around 8:30-9:00 PM and he can't talk but a minute or two as he has to go to sleep. I have phone records proving this. CP controls all visitations without my input and doesn't even let me know if child will be here or not until the very last minute, making it very difficult to make any plans for him on my end. The little time my son IS with me and his dad exercises his court given right to phone calls to him, he constantly grills him and tries to coax him into saying negative things about me. So, even when he is here with me, his dad tries to make things difficult.

According to my research over the past few years, I have enough to possibly modify custody. One of the biggest changes being the move that I was not given the legal right to protest. And then all of the things that have transpired due to that move. Parental interference and not fostering the mother/child bond seem to be pretty big, but big enough to win? What do you guys think? Thanks!

Given that you moved to TX, you have given up jurisdiction to IL. His move to IL? Is now moot. Too much time has gone by, and you have also moved out of state. So that boat sailed long ago.

Can't really comment on the rest (visitatrion or phone calls) since we don't know what the order actually states. Not your interpretation - teh actual language.

 

[wolfcreekgal]

My lawyers in Wyoming told me jurisdiction needs to be in the state where the child resides and that is why I had my Illinois lawyer accomplish that. I guess I made a mistake there, but was informed that was my best course of action.

Concerning phone visitation in my order it states: Each party shall have liberal telephone visitations on no less than three evenings per week for no less than 30 minutes each telephone visit. If the parties cannot agree on the telephone visitation, it will occur on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays at 7:00 PM where the minor child resides.

It also states: Mother is to have child every other weekend on odd numbered Fridays. If the parties cannot agree, visitation shall begin at 5:00 PM on Friday and continue through 6:00 PM on the following Sunday. ( I realize that, after the move, this is now impossible and I'll get to that part later.)

Mother shall have minor child for 8 weeks in the summer. Summer visitation shall begin two weeks after school lets out in the school district where the child resides and shall continue for 8 consecutive weeks.

Mother shall have child during Spring Break every year, including a a week in the Spring to coincide with Spring Break in the school district where the child resides even if the child has not reached school age.

Mother shall have the first half of Christmas break in even numbered years. Christmas Break being deemed the day after school is let out in the school district where the minor child resides. Father has second half of Christmas break in even numbered years. Mother shall have the same in odd numbered years.

Additionally, in odd numbered years Mother shall have the child for Thanksgiving break. Father shall have child in even numbered years.

Mother shall have Memorial Day weekend in odd numbered years. Father shall have the same in even numbered years. Mother shall also have Labor Day weekend in even numbered years and Father shall have the same in odd numbered years.

In the event either party moves more than 100 miles from ******, Wyoming, the above schedule shall remain in effect except weekend visitations shall no longer occur. The party who moves bears 100% of all travel costs.

I have NEVER once seen my son on Thanksgiving, Memorial Day or Labor Day breaks (as ordered above) as his dad has said he ain't paying to send him to me for a mere two or three days at a time.

 

[Ohiogal]

Posting History

https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=197878

You keep posting and asking questions but you ignore everything you are told. It seems like a waste. You were advised what to do when dad first moved and you did nothing.

You were told then to file protesting the move and you were also given caselaw to back up the position that you could protest it. Yet, nothing. Now you are asking questions you have asked before. it is not true you weren't given the opportunity to protest it -- you CHOSE not to protest it.

You are the one to blame for this situation at this juncture -- your inaction did this.

 

[wolfcreekgal]

Ohiogal,
I most certainly DID try and protest the move as soon as I found out about it. After hearing from two different attorneys there was nothing I could do AND going to the courthouse to find out if what I was being told was true, I discovered Wyoming is the only state that allows a parent to move (any distance) without permission. These are the facts yet, no one believes them and thinks everything that's transpired since is due to my failure to act. I was there in person. I KNOW what happened.

 

[Isis1]

Ohiogal,
I most certainly DID try and protest the move as soon as I found out about it. After hearing from two different attorneys there was nothing I could do AND going to the courthouse to find out if what I was being told was true, I discovered Wyoming is the only state that allows a parent to move (any distance) without permission. These are the facts yet, no one believes them and thinks everything that's transpired since is due to my failure to act. I was there in person. I KNOW what happened.

actually, that's not true.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ohiogal,
I most certainly DID try and protest the move as soon as I found out about it. After hearing from two different attorneys there was nothing I could do AND going to the courthouse to find out if what I was being told was true, I discovered Wyoming is the only state that allows a parent to move (any distance) without permission. These are the facts yet, no one believes them and thinks everything that's transpired since is due to my failure to act. I was there in person. I KNOW what happened.

Actually you could have filed for custody due to the move. You could have done something. Watts v Watts was given to you three years ago. You were explained this extensively way back then. You DECIDED/CHOSE not to follow through and file in court protesting your son being removed. The parent can move but the child may not necessarily be moved. And that is what you fail to understand. So no, you didn't try. You filed NOTHING. You did NOTHING regarding custody in 2009 even though you were told you could.

 

[CJane]

Ohiogal,
I most certainly DID try and protest the move as soon as I found out about it. After hearing from two different attorneys there was nothing I could do AND going to the courthouse to find out if what I was being told was true, I discovered Wyoming is the only state that allows a parent to move (any distance) without permission. These are the facts yet, no one believes them and thinks everything that's transpired since is due to my failure to act. I was there in person. I KNOW what happened.

Lots of states -- mine included -- allow a parent to move without permission of the other parent or the courts.

In fact, I can only think of a few states that require permission.

 

[wolfcreekgal]

OK, the two lawyers I hired in Wyoming told me Wyoming is the only state where one cannot protest a relocation. CJane mentioned other states have this same law where you cannot protest a move. I'll admit I am ignorant of the law and believed people I should not have believed. I figured, if they were lawyers, they'd know what I didn't. My husband is standing here with me now and he was there too, hearing what I did. He knows how hard I tried to do something, ANYTHING while we were in Wyoming, before the move and after. He knows, because he was there, that two separate lawyers told us we had to wait till CP had been Illinois for 6 months to do anything at all.

Anyway, regardless of what happened, it is what it is now.

 

[wolfcreekgal]

Ohiogal,
I was also told a long distance move alone was not sufficient enough to modify custody. That I would have to wait and gather enough evidence to prove something substantial has happened since the original hearing. I have that now, but had to wait a very long time to get it.

 

[CJane]

OK, the two lawyers I hired in Wyoming told me Wyoming is the only state where one cannot protest a relocation. CJane mentioned other states have this same law where you cannot protest a move. I'll admit I am ignorant of the law and believed people I should not have believed. I figured, if they were lawyers, they'd know what I didn't. My husband is standing here with me now and he was there too, hearing what I did. He knows how hard I tried to do something, ANYTHING while we were in Wyoming, before the move and after. He knows, because he was there, that two separate lawyers told us we had to wait till CP had been Illinois for 6 months to do anything at all.

Anyway, regardless of what happened, it is what it is now.

I didn't say "cannot protest" I said "do not need permission". It's not the same thing. Remotely. Which might be where all of this originally went wrong.

That said, Illinois will easily gain jurisdiction over WY, since neither of you live there anymore. And frankly, from what you've posted, I don't think you have a chance at all of changing custody. You DO, however, have an excellent shot at getting a solid long distance plan entered, and that plan can/will be enforced going forward.

 

[Ohiogal]

OK, the two lawyers I hired in Wyoming told me Wyoming is the only state where one cannot protest a relocation. CJane mentioned other states have this same law where you cannot protest a move. I'll admit I am ignorant of the law and believed people I should not have believed. I figured, if they were lawyers, they'd know what I didn't. My husband is standing here with me now and he was there too, hearing what I did. He knows how hard I tried to do something, ANYTHING while we were in Wyoming, before the move and after. He knows, because he was there, that two separate lawyers told us we had to wait till CP had been Illinois for 6 months to do anything at all.

Anyway, regardless of what happened, it is what it is now.

That is not what the law states -- you can protest a relocation. Dad however doesn't need permission to relocate. You were TOLD on this very forum what to do. I reread your threads. You ignored it then. I don't doubt you will ignore any information you get now. In other words, this is a waste of time.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ohiogal,
I was also told a long distance move alone was not sufficient enough to modify custody. That I would have to wait and gather enough evidence to prove something substantial has happened since the original hearing. I have that now, but had to wait a very long time to get it.

Umm, dad lied to the court -- as you were told 3 years ago. Dad's financial situation had changed -- which you were told three years ago. Dad didn't OWN the house as he represented to the court thus he committed fraud upon the court -- which, hey guess what, you were told three years ago.

You were told ALL OF THAT three years ago. The misrepresentations dad made to the court, per YOUR posts three years ago, would have been enough to take it back to court. But you did NOTHING. You IGNORED everything everyone said. See the issue?

 

[wolfcreekgal]

Ohiogal,
Thank you for briefing me on what happened three years ago. Believe it or not, I DID bring EVERYTHING mentioned here three years ago to the table and was still told there was nothing I could do until more time had passed and jurisdiction was established in Illinois. I know it seems to you that I totally and blatantly disregarded everything told to me here, but nothing is further from what actually transpired. I tried everything you guys mentioned back then and nothing worked from a legal stand point. Why? I have no idea, but it didn't or I wouldn't be in the situation I am in today.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ohiogal,
Thank you for briefing me on what happened three years ago. Believe it or not, I DID bring EVERYTHING mentioned here three years ago to the table and was still told there was nothing I could do until more time had passed and jurisdiction was established in Illinois. I know it seems to you that I totally and blatantly disregarded everything told to me here, but nothing is further from what actually transpired. I tried everything you guys mentioned back then and nothing worked from a legal stand point. Why? I have no idea, but it didn't or I wouldn't be in the situation I am in today.

Wrong. You NEVER filed in court three years ago. You NEVER took it back before the court three years ago. You did NOT have to wait for six months because jurisdiction did NOT automatically transfer. Someone would have had to MOVE jurisdiction to Illinois. Go back and read your threads. However now you will have to do it in a new state where what happened three years ago will no longer matter. And , yes it takes a heck of a lot of time to transfer jurisdiction. If it takes only six months then that goes quickly -- that is once something is filed in court. You made mistakes and unless you acknowledge the mistakes YOU made and quit blaming dad, you will NOT begin to comprehend what you need to do now.