Restraining order ?

[computer_guy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

I just found out my Girlfriends 6 year old daughter's father is moving in 2 blocks away from us.

A bit of history about the situation

My girlfriend and him were never married.
My girlfriend was diagnosed with PTSD from a licensed practicing psychiatrist at a clinic.
We have been continually harassed by him while living in the house owned by his parents.
We left that house at the soonest available time, because of the harassment and his unique form of stalking - sending $10,000+ worth of star wars toys which she felt she was responsible for taking care of for him while he was in prision then having to meet with him to exchange the boxes.

He spent a year in prison after his 3rd DUI with his then 4 year old daughter in the car unbuckled.
His daughter accused him of indecency but the legal system will not do anything because there were no claims or emotional signs of penetration.

His Probation Officer has been little help, she stipulated a no contact from him towards my girlfriend, and that he is not allowed to drive with his daughter in any vehicle
The custody hearing set in place that he has no custody, visitation only and that he is not allowed to be alone with his daughter unless supervised by his parents.

I am hoping there is something she can do to keep him a good distance away from us. He currently lives several cities over and hasn't been an issue. I know his intentions of moving this close are to cause undue stress. My stress levels are through the roof because of him and all the things he's done to my girlfriend and the situations he's put me in. I know I have the easiest out by deserting my girlfriend and her daughter, but will not do that because her ex can not leave us alone.

I'm sure I know the answer is something that is not in our favor, but any advice would be greatly appreciated, and hope to find a legal way to resolve these issues to permanently remove him from our lives excluding legal visitations of his daughter.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

I just found out my Girlfriends 6 year old daughter's father is moving in 2 blocks away from us.

A bit of history about the situation

My girlfriend and him were never married.
My girlfriend was diagnosed with PTSD from a licensed practicing psychiatrist at a clinic.
We have been continually harassed by him while living in the house owned by his parents.
We left that house at the soonest available time, because of the harassment and his unique form of stalking - sending $10,000+ worth of star wars toys which she felt she was responsible for taking care of for him while he was in prision then having to meet with him to exchange the boxes.

He spent a year in prison after his 3rd DUI with his then 4 year old daughter in the car unbuckled.
His daughter accused him of indecency but the legal system will not do anything because there were no claims or emotional signs of penetration.

His Probation Officer has been little help, she stipulated a no contact from him towards my girlfriend, and that he is not allowed to drive with his daughter in any vehicle
The custody hearing set in place that he has no custody, visitation only and that he is not allowed to be alone with his daughter unless supervised by his parents.

I am hoping there is something she can do to keep him a good distance away from us. He currently lives several cities over and hasn't been an issue. I know his intentions of moving this close are to cause undue stress. My stress levels are through the roof because of him and all the things he's done to my girlfriend and the situations he's put me in. I know I have the easiest out by deserting my girlfriend and her daughter, but will not do that because her ex can not leave us alone.

I'm sure I know the answer is something that is not in our favor, but any advice would be greatly appreciated, and hope to find a legal way to resolve these issues to permanently remove him from our lives excluding legal visitations of his daughter.

Perhaps he genuinely wants to spend time with his child?

You can't preemptively prevent him from doing anything. If he starts to harass or threaten, there are things that can be done. Before that though? Not so much.

 

[computer_guy]

From what we've heard from his daughter he only wants to spend time with her alone at night. Her visits there she's limited to 3 bags or toys because he ignores her and spanks her when she asks for attention.

There is nothing genuine about this guy, even if his daughter is making up lies for attention the things she's repeated no 6 year old should have knowledge of, or know how to draw specific things anatomically correct to quote her "only her daddy has".

 

[Proserpina]

From what we've heard from his daughter he only wants to spend time with her alone at night. Her visits there she's limited to 3 bags or toys because he ignores her and spanks her when she asks for attention.

There is nothing genuine about this guy, even if his daughter is making up lies for attention the things she's repeated no 6 year old should have knowledge of, or know how to draw specific things anatomically correct to quote her "only her daddy has".

Please tell me you're not equating knowing the correct terms and places of the human body with child abuse?

Dude, kids know this stuff. They know YOUNGER than she is. Heck, at 6 there's a good chance she's actually masturbating - and that's normal, too.

Are the parents still supervising? And how are you being told all of this - are you taking the 6 year old's word for it?

 

[computer_guy]

Please tell me you're not equating knowing the correct terms and places of the human body with child abuse?

Dude, kids know this stuff. They know YOUNGER than she is. Heck, at 6 there's a good chance she's actually masturbating - and that's normal, too.

Are the parents still supervising? And how are you being told all of this - are you taking the 6 year old's word for it?

I really don't want to get off the main focus of this, and yes.

one night before she spent the weekend at her fathers she had several bags packed full of toys, her mother asked her why. She said because her dad doesn't spend time with her, but at night he some times sleeps in her bed with her because there is no room on his because he has too many boxes of those toys on it. While sleeping in bed with her, she stated that she would have to move his hand out of the back of her pants and put it on his side. She said that he often looks down the back of her pants checking to make sure she doesn't have any rashes. When questioned about how they sleep in bed, she said that he snuggles up really close and kisses her on the ribs, and her thighs.

She came home from school one day with a drawing of a penis pointed up towards a skeleton she made on paper. The skeleton was supposed to be her, the penis she never answered to. When asking her about the differences between boys and girls she stated the obvious physical differences you would expect from a young kid. Hair length closes etc.... When asked about the drawing on the skeleton, she said it's a butt like her daddys, and made a gesture with her fist up and down and said "it goes like this". When asked about other boys and girls having "butts" like that she said only her father did.

Too me it's point blank obvious that's going on, and in wisconsin there is no law against fondling unless you have witness/photographic proof. According to the officers we spoke with it's just him being innappriopate. DHS, CPS, Social services, want nothing to do with it. Her counselor says she's normal, excluding that she refuses to speak about her time at her fathers house, and gets frustrated and angry when asked about it.

Before even speaking to authorities I became a bit obsessive watching his public ebay account. I'd check it every night before bed to see what new expensive toys he bought for himself. One night he bought a book that was a fiction novel that went into great detail about child abduction/rape/torture/satanism, when I went to go show it to my girlfriend after refreshing the page he public profile was now private. I know legally there is not a thing any one can do about their buying habbits and interests, but I'll be damned if that doesn't put some sour thoughts into your head about his intentions with everything else going on.


I'm so frustrated with this, all I want to do is work come home, have as normal life as possible and not have to worry about my girlfriend having another break down cause of the crap her ex is doing. I have to pretend that this guy is on the same level as Micheal Jackson in the sense of living in Neverland and wanting to be a child and not with children.

 

[computer_guy]

I forgot to mention, during his weekends he made it a point to bathe his daughter. After my GF made multiple pleas to his PO he didn't stop until a lot of these indecencies came to a head. My girlfriend said to have his mother (the childs grandmother) bathe her, but he absolutely made it a point to go into the bathroom and wash her himself spending the entire time a lone with her. When she's been capable of washing her self before I was even a part of the situation. When it's bath time her mother will help her with washing her hair and that's all the help she needs, which has been specifically stated to the father many many times.

 

[Proserpina]

Too me it's point blank obvious that's going on, and in wisconsin there is no law against fondling unless you have witness/photographic proof.

This is absolutely incorrect.

According to the officers we spoke with it's just him being innappriopate. DHS, CPS, Social services, want nothing to do with it. Her counselor says she's normal, excluding that she refuses to speak about her time at her fathers house, and gets frustrated and angry when asked about it.

So they don't think she's in any danger.

Before even speaking to authorities I became a bit obsessive watching his public ebay account.

And you're complaining about HIM stalking HER?!

I'd check it every night before bed to see what new expensive toys he bought for himself. One night he bought a book that was a fiction novel that went into great detail about child abduction/rape/torture/satanism, when I went to go show it to my girlfriend after refreshing the page he public profile was now private. I know legally there is not a thing any one can do about their buying habbits and interests, but I'll be damned if that doesn't put some sour thoughts into your head about his intentions with everything else going on.

This is TERRIBLY familiar. Are you sure you or your gf haven't registered here before?

For what it's worth, if you would look at my bookshelves, surfing habits and Netflix watching? You (most people wouldn't, but I think you might) would probably think all kinds of unsavory things.

I'm so frustrated with this, all I want to do is work come home, have as normal life as possible and not have to worry about my girlfriend having another break down cause of the crap her ex is doing. I have to pretend that this guy is on the same level as Micheal Jackson in the sense of living in Neverland and wanting to be a child and not with children.

It's not your problem. If you don't want the frustration, you know what to do.

 

[computer_guy]

This is absolutely incorrect.



So they don't think she's in any danger.




And you're complaining about HIM stalking HER?!



This is TERRIBLY familiar. Are you sure you or your gf haven't registered here before?

For what it's worth, if you would look at my bookshelves, surfing habits and Netflix watching? You (most people wouldn't, but I think you might) would probably think all kinds of unsavory things.




It's not your problem. If you don't want the frustration, you know what to do.

Wow, your attitude kind of flipped about all of this. And yes I have posted here about these issues before. There's a difference between looking at what people put up in the public's view vs trying to weasel into some one else's private life. If I was peeking into his bedroom window I would understand the concern. Also, I have my own unique tastes and interests that some would consider taboo and wrong, but I wouldn't bring up an interest in macabre art and if under suspicion of murder. I've spoken with you in the past, and I'm curious to know if your intentions here are to give people assistance or attempt to twist all their problems around on them for some kind of amusement for yourself. Unless you have something constructive to say about my original concerns I really have no interest in you picking apart a non relevant topic you wished to delve into. I do not appreciate how you only picked a few select sentences I wrote only to ridicule me with yet ignoring the other more damning things that have happened.

 

[anearthw]

So how have the circumstances changed since you last posted and presumably got responses?

 

[anearthw]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/child-visitation-suspicion-sexual-abuse-574573.html

 

[computer_guy]

So how have the circumstances changed since you last posted and presumably got responses?

Court stipulation that he's not allowed to be alone with her. Visitation every other weekend in his parents care, from saturday morning to sunday evening. His PO just blows a lot of smoke too when she was approached with concerns. It's a combination of apathy in the legal system (which I understand but disagree with, i.e. he gets out of jail their relationship ended previous and child abuse charges surface), and money. We can't afford lawyers. None of the information that was brought to the authorities was fabricated, but truely all from situations that rose, or spoke to us from the kiddo (I hate talking about her like an item but want to keep anonymity.) This last weekend he drove around with her alone, which was set in stone by his PO he's not allowed to do, an email to her from my girlfriend and she has not received a response because the PO was on vacation for a week and now ignoring her emails.

I come to these forums in hopes of some one pointing to the smoking gun in our aid. I don't know the legal system and that's my ignorance, but don't feel I need to know the nitty gritty of this kind of stuff because it shouldn't have to apply to any of us involved. Yet we're caught up in the downward spiral of this guy, and if I wasn't in the picture I know that my GF and her daughters life would be much worse and I'm not about to turn my back on them so I can have an easier life.

 

[Just Blue]

Court stipulation that he's not allowed to be alone with her. Visitation every other weekend in his parents care, from saturday morning to sunday evening. His PO just blows a lot of smoke too when she was approached with concerns. It's a combination of apathy in the legal system (which I understand but disagree with, i.e. he gets out of jail their relationship ended previous and child abuse charges surface), and money. We can't afford lawyers. None of the information that was brought to the authorities was fabricated, but truely all from situations that rose, or spoke to us from the kiddo (I hate talking about her like an item but want to keep anonymity.) This last weekend he drove around with her alone, which was set in stone by his PO he's not allowed to do, an email to her from my girlfriend and she has not received a response because the PO was on vacation for a week and now ignoring her emails.

I come to these forums in hopes of some one pointing to the smoking gun in our aid. I don't know the legal system and that's my ignorance, but don't feel I need to know the nitty gritty of this kind of stuff because it shouldn't have to apply to any of us involved. Yet we're caught up in the downward spiral of this guy, and if I wasn't in the picture I know that my GF and her daughters life would be much worse and I'm not about to turn my back on them so I can have an easier life.

You have been told this is NOT your legal issue and there is NOTHING you can do. You have also been told to have the MOTHER DEAL with her own issues.

We want to help the child. But can't as the mother will not assist.

So, once again for the...what? forth? tenth? ...time.

Have the PARENT sign up and ask HER own questions.

If Mom is unwilling or unable to deal with this situation and you have reported the "abuse" to officials. WE CAN NOT HELP.

And SHAME ON MOTHER and SHAME ON YOU for "being"with such a "person" that is so lackadaisical as to not assist her young child.

 

[Proserpina]

Wow, your attitude kind of flipped about all of this. And yes I have posted here about these issues before. There's a difference between looking at what people put up in the public's view vs trying to weasel into some one else's private life. If I was peeking into his bedroom window I would understand the concern. Also, I have my own unique tastes and interests that some would consider taboo and wrong, but I wouldn't bring up an interest in macabre art and if under suspicion of murder. I've spoken with you in the past, and I'm curious to know if your intentions here are to give people assistance or attempt to twist all their problems around on them for some kind of amusement for yourself. Unless you have something constructive to say about my original concerns I really have no interest in you picking apart a non relevant topic you wished to delve into. I do not appreciate how you only picked a few select sentences I wrote only to ridicule me with yet ignoring the other more damning things that have happened.

Of course you don't appreciate my response.

Because you can see the truth in said response.

Remember sport, you brought up these things on which I commented. If you didn't think them relevant or important, you wouldn't have raised them.