1997 divorce decree doesn't address college; can the court order college expenses to

[Proserpina]

OHRoadWarrior misunderstands - or perhaps just doesn't have a clue about this?

Invoking The Act is NOT a means by which the servicemember can run out the clock - oh no, no it doesn't mean that at all.


Especially when the petition is relating to dependent support.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

OHRoadWarrior misunderstands - or perhaps just doesn't have a clue about this?

Invoking The Act is NOT a means by which the servicemember can run out the clock - oh no, no it doesn't mean that at all.


Especially when the petition is relating to dependent support.

If mom files incorrectly and dad uses the Act to delay proceedings, until order in effect is void, it will be too late for mom to request an amendment in proper venue. This will only work, if mom files in the wrong jurisdiction.

 

[Proserpina]

If mom files incorrectly and dad uses the Act to delay proceedings, until order in effect is void, it will be too late for mom to request an amendment in proper venue. This will only work, if mom files in the wrong jurisdiction.

Please show me?

 

[TheGeekess]

I can tell you that Ga. DSCE became involved in 2007 in order to review the support amount and adjust accordingly. I have a Va DCSE case # and I call Va DCSE for info.

I read over the court paperwork from the adjustment hearing and the only thing that changed from the original decree is the ammount and the percentage of medical/dental care I'm to provide (from 66% to 69%). No mention of college there, either.

I appreciate your advice.

If it's been domesticated, I've not been made aware of it.

If Mom used GA DSCE, then it's been domesticated to Georgia.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
My home of record is Va, Married in Ga, divorced in OK, child in Ga.

Married in Ga, Divorced in OK in 1997. Estranged from my daughter, who lives in Ga. Child support ends in May, 2013 (grad from HS then). Daughter turns 18 in Oct 2012. Daughters family are prodding my ex to take me to court for college expenses. Our decree doesn't mention college. All it states is the ammount of CS and when it ends (either at age 18, or HS grad, whichever is last) and I've found conflicting info online. Can a NCP be ordered to pay for college after a divorce from 15 years earlier? I'm in the military stationed in Germany and will be here at least until 2014. Thanks!

http://www.finaid.org/questions/divorce.phtml states "Whether divorced parents have a legal obligation to pay for their children's education depends on the state in which the divorce occurred. (In my case, Oklahoma) Several states have laws or case law that allow courts to order the non-custodial parent to help pay for college. These states include Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Washington and West Virginia. States which prohibit the courts from ordering college support (except for enforcing a previous agreement between the parents) include Alaska, Nebraksa, and New Hampshire. (As of 2/2/2004, New Hampshire judges no longer have the discretion to order college support for adult children in new divorce cases. Prior orders remain enforceable.)"

However, http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/childsupportresources/a/childsupportcol.htm states that both Ga and OK have "No statute or case law holding parent to duty".

Where I come from, people get broken noses when they stick it where it doesn't belong.

Your divorce is over with all matters settled. Yet there are gold diggers that just won't leave it in the past.

I would like to offer a revolutionary idea, your daughter can work and earn her own way through college as many many people do. It appears the people who are divorced end up with college expenses shoved down their throat by the court.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Please show me?

I hate the moral implications of going this far as I am a stepparent, paying for my stepdaughters college, while her father just bought an expensive new truck. I was trying to be polite and point out the option, allowing OP to develop such a strategy for himself, if he felt his daughter so strongly not deserving.

Section 200(3)

(50 U.S.C. App. § 520)

In any action or proceeding in which a person in military service is a party if such party does not personally appear therein or is not represented by an authorized attorney, the court may appoint an attorney to represent him; and in such case a like bond may be required and an order made to protect the rights of such person. But no attorney appointed under this Act to protect a person in military service shall have power to waive any right of the person for whom he is appointed or bind him by his acts.

General. Subsection 200(3) provides for court appointment of an attorney to represent a service member who is a party to the action and who has not personally appeared therein or been represented by an authorized attorney. This subsection differs from the subsection 200(1) requirement in that this section says the court "may appoint" instead of "shall appoint." This is true because this subsection, 200(3), is not referring to a condition which must exist before a default judgment is entered, but is stating that the court may appoint an attorney at any time during the proceedings. Consequently, several questions have arisen concerning court appointed counsel.

Responsibilities of appointed attorney. When a plaintiff files an affidavit stating that the defendant is in military service or that the plaintiff cannot determine whether he/she is in military service and an attorney is appointed to represent this missing defendant, what does the attorney do? The attorney is charged by statute with representing the service member and protecting his/her interest. One author has noted that an "appointed attorney is under an obligation to exhaust every reasonable means of establishing contact with the service member prior to trial date so that some logical course of action can be agreed upon." Another writer has indicated that "local court rules . . . sometime provide that the appointed attorney shall inquire into defendant's military status and whether his ability to meet his debts has been materially affected and then report to the court." A New York court, in appointing such counsel, said it was for the purpose of obtaining facts as to whether the soldier's ability to comply with the terms of the obligation had been materially affected by his military service and to report to the court thereon or move for a stay in the soldier's behalf. In another case, the court stated that the purpose of the appointed counsel, either required or suggested, is to obtain a stay for the defendant. Of course, if the military defendant is geographically and militarily able, he/she may desire to cooperate fully in the defense. This would, then, constitute an appearance and would deprive him/her of the opportunity to apply to reopen the judgment under subsection 200(4). Unless the defendant is able to be present for trial and to testify and fully cooperate in the defense, the primary purpose of the appointed attorney should be to obtain a stay until the defendant can be present. The attorney can make this motion without depriving the defendant of the right to apply to reopen any default judgment that might result.

http://usmilitary.about.com/od/sscra/l/blsscra32.htm

If mom files in the wrong court, all OP needs to do, is fail to recognize service and make himself unavailable, if counsel is appointed by the judge. Counsel will, by necessity run out the clock, seeking his client and is theoretically barred from advising mom of her pursuing the wrong venue. If counsel is not appointed, waiting to receive service is a no brainer. When the child reaches the end of her current support order, any court will be reluctant to consider creating a new award for a legal adult, to get a paid college education.

 

[Snoogans]

My daughter has been spoiled all her life and she's never had to earn anything for herself, nor does she appreciate anything anyone does for her. Case in point, she's wore Hollister, AE, A&F clothes all her life, had the latest cell phone since she was 10, and her grandparents just bought her a brand new car at age 17. She got mad at me for not letting her boyfriend spend the night with her when she was 14 and since then she's consistantly made excuses to avoid visitation. I haven't seen her since.

Any time she's wanted something and I felt it was reasonable, I've handed it over, but now she seems to treat me as an expendable asset to be discarded once used up or until the next "I want" happens. Any time I say no she goes on a tirade about how awful I am. Of course, the rest of them chime in with their 2 cents and say some of the most horrible things I've ever read, not just about me but my family as well. Normally when this happens 5 or 6 months will pass and she'll come around like nothing happened.

Somehow she got it in her head that I wasn't going to use my GI Bill and I was depriving her of it for spite (which isn't true).

Everything I've written to her and said to her to try to mend the bridge has went in one ear and out the other.

Due to her disrespect, I don't see any reason to give her a free ride through college when she won't appreciate it. Even if I paid for her school, She won't make any effort to visit and it would only be a matter of time before she expected something else and again go on a facebook rant if I refused. This isn't the first time she's done this. (She did the same thing over an IPOD)

I could have went to court over her mother's contempt but I didn't pursue it because she adores her mother and I didn't want to widen the rift between us (which court would have done). I didn't feel that the emotional cost of what relationship I had with my daughter at that time was worth the satisfaction of getting justice for the contempt. My daughter wouldn't view it as me wanting time with her, she'd view it as me causing trouble for her mother and messing up her life. At the time I made the decision I thought was best for my daughter even though it was painful as hell.

Thanks for the advise, everyone. I have quotes from several lawyers and even a judge who say the court will most likely see it my way, provided she finds a lawyer who will take her case.

While this irritates me, it just makes me sad more than anything.

 

[Proserpina]

I hate the moral implications of going this far as I am a stepparent, paying for my stepdaughters college, while her father just bought an expensive new truck. I was trying to be polite and point out the option, allowing OP to develop such a strategy for himself, if he felt his daughter so strongly not deserving.



http://usmilitary.about.com/od/sscra/l/blsscra32.htm

If mom files in the wrong court, all OP needs to do, is fail to recognize service and make himself unavailable, if counsel is appointed by the judge. Counsel will, by necessity run out the clock, seeking his client and is theoretically barred from advising mom of her pursuing the wrong venue. If counsel is not appointed, waiting to receive service is a no brainer. When the child reaches the end of her current support order, any court will be reluctant to consider creating a new award for a legal adult, to get a paid college education.

Oh. My. God. Are you serious? Is that honestly your interpretation?!?!?!?!

 

[stealth2]

I hate the moral implications of going this far as I am a stepparent, paying for my stepdaughters college, while her father just bought an expensive new truck.

Of course, you realize that you are doing this by choice, right? So really, there is no cause for complaint on your part.

I'll tell ya, though, OP... You ALSO have little cause for complaint wrt how your daughter has turned out - you are just as responsible for it as Mom is. You chose to default your parenting time so as not to make waves - what did you expect would happen when you didn't provide a counter-infuence?

Which is not to say that you should fork over the tuition. In *your* situation, I might not, either. But I wouldn't expect your daughter to come around, either. (I have a daughter in a similar situation, although there is much more to it.)

 

[Snoogans]

Of course, you realize that you are doing this by choice, right? So really, there is no cause for complaint on your part.

I'll tell ya, though, OP... You ALSO have little cause for complaint wrt how your daughter has turned out - you are just as responsible for it as Mom is. (Respectivly, if you knew the whole story, you wouldn't say that) You chose to default your parenting time so as not to make waves - what did you expect would happen when you didn't provide a counter-infuence? (I've made certain to never speak ill of her mother or anyone else in that family to make a point that all they were saying about me wasn't so. It made no difference.)

Which is not to say that you should fork over the tuition. In *your* situation, I might not, either. But I wouldn't expect your daughter to come around, either. (I have a daughter in a similar situation, although there is much more to it.)

I realize that I'm responsible for some of what has happened because I didn't make as much effort to spend time with her when she was little that I could have. I've acknowleged that with her and made no excuses for it, but after I moved to within 3 hours of her I did all I could to spend time with her. Before that I was either overseas or too far away to visit without taking leave and I couldn't earn it fast enough to visit on a regular basis. She (with encouragement from mom) decided that everything else was more important. From my point of view, I stood to lose far more than I could gain if I had filed for contempt. The only thing I ever wanted was for her to want to spent time with me because she wanted to, not because she was forced. The way I figured it, I stood to lose any chance of having that by taking her mom to court. My daughter would have view'd that as an attack.

Believe me, it was have been satisfying to see her mom get hers but the price (relationship with my daughter) was too high. I've explained that to her but it didn't matter. If you read what was said by my daughter, her mom, and grandmother, it would make you shutter.

 

[SESmama]

Believe me, it was have been satisfying to see her mom get hers but the price (relationship with my daughter) was too high. I've explained that to her but it didn't matter.

1) you never gave your daughter another option. YOU gave up for her
2) You are assuming that your daughter would have seen the contempt as an attack. You are playing omnipotent winter feelings and thoughts.

YOU gave up. Not her. She is taking her queue from you that you are an ATM.

 

[Snoogans]

1) you never gave your daughter another option. YOU gave up for her
2) You are assuming that your daughter would have seen the contempt as an attack. You are playing omnipotent winter feelings and thoughts.

YOU gave up. Not her. She is taking her queue from you that you are an ATM.

With all due respect, I know this child. You do not. I know what she's said and done and you don't. I can only take so much heartache and disappointment. While I appreciate your opinion and I'm sure it's based on experience as a lawyer, not everyone is the same.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Of course, you realize that you are doing this by choice, right? So really, there is no cause for complaint on your part.

Soooooo, if I explain it, with reservations, I am a jerk and if I don't reply to Pro's query, I am an idiot. Talk about a rock n a hard place. Tough crowd.

 

[aldaron]

I thought all post 2001 vets immediate families qualified for a free 4 year education under that new GI bill, wouldn't cost OP a cent.

 

[Silverplum]

I thought all post 2001 vets immediate families qualified for a free 4 year education under that new GI bill, wouldn't cost OP a cent.

Nope.

Much more complicated than that, and it's not for 4 years, not even for the vets who served and suffered.

OP can do precisely as he chooses.