Wow. Child support check after almost 10 years!

[Siflan]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My kid's father was an abusive man. I was finally was free of him in 2003. Because I was a stay at home mom when I escaped, I went on welfare for about a year. Through this, I was able to start a child support case through welfare. Since I was a stay at home for so long it was difficult finding gainful employment.I achieved that goal and ceased the welfare help that I desperately needed at the time.

Now, almost 10 years later, I received a check for $200. I was flabbergassed! I didn't deposit it for over a month concerned that it was a joke or not right... that something was wrong. I have never received a dime from him or child support before this.

And... The first time I have heard from him since the escape..He calls to bitc.. complain about the money taken from his check. Don't know how he found my contact info (but with today's technology, I'm sure it wasn't all that hard).He also stated that he will now quit his job and/or get another job to avoid the deduction from his pay.

I have tried to contact Child Support Enforcement to discuss what is going on. I had no contact with them in all this time since I marked that spot on the application & had one subsequent meeting with CSE. He lives in SC..So I really had very little hope to begin with. I was just happy I did not have to endure him any longer.

Don't get me wrong..I am NOT complaining about the check at all. But I am having difficulties in trying to get someone to talk to me about this case. Any suggestions? I just don't know what else to do. I have called CSE and they give me the run-a-round. Will not give me a name of my case worker (I'm assuming I must have a case open if I received a check.) They say they cannot find my case. I feel as though this is something I should be on top of.

Any suggestions?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state? Florida

My kid's father was an abusive man. I was finally was free of him in 2003. Because I was a stay at home mom when I escaped, I went on welfare for about a year. Through this, I was able to start a child support case through welfare. Since I was a stay at home for so long it was difficult finding gainful employment.I achieved that goal and ceased the welfare help that I desperately needed at the time.

Now, almost 10 years later, I received a check for $200. I was flabbergassed! I didn't deposit it for over a month concerned that it was a joke or not right... that something was wrong. I have never received a dime from him or child support before this.

And... The first time I have heard from him since the escape..He calls to bitc.. complain about the money taken from his check. Don't know how he found my contact info (but with today's technology, I'm sure it wasn't all that hard).He also stated that he will now quit his job and/or get another job to avoid the deduction from his pay.

I have tried to contact Child Support Enforcement to discuss what is going on. I had no contact with them in all this time since I marked that spot on the application & had one subsequent meeting with CSE. He lives in SC..So I really had very little hope to begin with. I was just happy I did not have to endure him any longer.

Don't get me wrong..I am NOT complaining about the check at all. But I am having difficulties in trying to get someone to talk to me about this case. Any suggestions? I just don't know what else to do. I have called CSE and they give me the run-a-round. Will not give me a name of my case worker (I'm assuming I must have a case open if I received a check.) They say they cannot find my case. I feel as though this is something I should be on top of.

Any suggestions?

What exactly do you wish to accomplish?

 

[Siflan]

What exactly do you wish to accomplish?

Good Question. First, I would like some suggestions on who or where I should go next to help me understand the specifics of the case, amount of arrearages if any, enforcement, and reporting of what he intends on doing. CSE is giving me the run around. Should I keep pressing the issue with them until I get answers? This is all new to me. Never really expected it. Other than stated, I never had any dealings with CSE.

Should I leave it alone? Just be happy I received anything? Am I looking a gift horse in the mouth?

 

[Ohiogal]

Good Question. First, I would like some suggestions on who or where I should go next to help me understand the specifics of the case, amount of arrearages if any, enforcement, and reporting of what he intends on doing. CSE is giving me the run around. Should I keep pressing the issue with them until I get answers? This is all new to me. Never really expected it. Other than stated, I never had any dealings with CSE.

Should I leave it alone? Just be happy I received anything? Am I looking a gift horse in the mouth?

How long did you receive cash assistance? Because that could have been where your child support was going.

 

[Siflan]

How long did you receive cash assistance? Because that could have been where your child support was going.

Sorry, only have non-specific dates. So long ago. About 4 out of the 12 months. Don't believe in taking more than I needed help with. The rest of the 8 months were food stamps and medicaid.

Then as soon as I could.... i got off it. Glad it was there, but didn't want a handout if i didn't need it.

 

[CSO286]

Good Question. First, I would like some suggestions on who or where I should go next to help me understand the specifics of the case, amount of arrearages if any, enforcement, and reporting of what he intends on doing. CSE is giving me the run around. Should I keep pressing the issue with them until I get answers? This is all new to me. Never really expected it. Other than stated, I never had any dealings with CSE.

Should I leave it alone? Just be happy I received anything? Am I looking a gift horse in the mouth?

Beside the question OhioGal is asking, let me give you some more advice.

Try writing a letter asking for this information. Ask for case worker, balance info (what amount of the arrears public assistance balances --owed to the state, and what amount are non-public assistance--owed to you), and what enforcement remdies are active on the case. If he hasn't paid his support as ordered, then he owes arrears.
They will not be able to tell you what the payor intends on doing, or if he plans to pay. Crystal balls do not get issued to child support workers, unfortunately.

How old are your children?

 

[Siflan]

Beside the question OhioGal is asking, let me give you some more advice.

Try writing a letter asking for this information. Ask for case worker, balance info (what amount of the arrears public assistance balances --owed to the state, and what amount are non-public assistance--owed to you), and what enforcement remdies are active on the case. If he hasn't paid his support as ordered, then he owes arrears.
They will not be able to tell you what the payor intends on doing, or if he plans to pay. Crystal balls do not get issued to child support workers, unfortunately.

How old are your children?

Just to clarify..I never intended on relying on welfare...I am ashamed to have to confess on using it for help. At the same time...I am glad and very thankful that it was there for me to lean on. Moving on.. as I digress

I will try that, Thanks!

Yes. I Know. But i would like to tell them of what he intends! (Don't know if it matters).

As far as those crystal balls, even if they had them...I think they're flawed...My magic 8 ball has been more helpful. Just be useful if I cold talk to anyone from CSE that knows and could explain everything.

**EDIT** My kids are 12 and14

 

[Proserpina]

Just to clarify..I never intended on relying on welfare...I am ashamed to have to confess on using it for help. At the same time...I am glad and very thankful that it was there for me to lean on. Moving on.. as I digress

I will try that, Thanks!

Yes. I Know. But i would like to tell them of what he intends! (Don't know if it matters).

As far as those crystal balls, even if they had them...I think they're flawed...My magic 8 ball has been more helpful. Just be useful if I cold talk to anyone from CSE that knows and could explain everything.

**EDIT** My kids are 12 and14

Y'know, I just want to comment on something.

I really, really applaud you for keeping your sense of humor in what is admittedly a frustrating situation.

Oh, one other thing. Welfare is there to be used when you need it. If you genuinely have a need, there is NO SHAME in utilizing the programs we have in place in the US.

No shame whatsoever, no stigma - or at least there bloody well shouldn't be.

 

[CSO286]

Just to clarify..I never intended on relying on welfare...I am ashamed to have to confess on using it for help. At the same time...I am glad and very thankful that it was there for me to lean on. Moving on.. as I digress

I will try that, Thanks!

Yes. I Know. But i would like to tell them of what he intends! (Don't know if it matters).

As far as those crystal balls, even if they had them...I think they're flawed...My magic 8 ball has been more helpful. Just be useful if I cold talk to anyone from CSE that knows and could explain everything.

I'm not ashamed to say I was public assistance for brief time after the birth of my child. I had a difficult delivery and needed help to get through. My mom was on public assistance for a year after a devastating illness and fall. I know a mom of three whose husband left her after her youngest was diagnosed with a terminal seizure disorder; managing it means she can't work--no daycares will take her child. She's on public asisstance and probably won't be off for a long time. The programs are there for a reason--to be used when there is a need.
Personally, I take issue when there are perfectly able-bodied folks who simply decide to live on welfare and abuse the system.

/end rant


Now, to the issues at hand:

• Write the letter. Request the info I told you ask for.
• Once you have your case worker info, contact him/her, make them aware of the contact you had with your ex. Let them know your current contact and employment info, and any contact and employment info for your ex you might have.
• You have the right to file civil contempt for failure to pay. You would need an attorney to do so. It becomes a matter of:
  • just how much money are we talking about here?
  • does you ex have--or has he had--the means to have paid his support?
  • do you have the knowlege/ability to do this pro se(on your own), or the means to hire an attorney to represent you?
• You could push CSE to do this if payments do stop coming--they probably won't if he's paying--but their process takes forever. You'd be able to get a hearing date much sooner.

 

[Siflan]

Y'know, I just want to comment on something.

I really, really applaud you for keeping your sense of humor in what is admittedly a frustrating situation.

Oh, one other thing. Welfare is there to be used when you need it. If you genuinely have a need, there is NO SHAME in utilizing the programs we have in place in the US.

No shame whatsoever, no stigma - or at least there bloody well shouldn't be.

Thanks for your reply and confidence . However, I will always have some sort of "shame" involved with my welfare usage. Just me... family values... you work for what you want and need. You don't take hand outs.


Unfortunately, IMHO, I also believe that there is more "stigma" than ever concerning welfare.

 

[CSO286]

Thanks for your reply and confidence . However, I will always have some sort of "shame" involved with my welfare usage. Just me... family values... you work for what you want and need. You don't take hand outs.


Unfortunately, IMHO, I also believe that there is more "stigma" than ever concerning welfare.

Here's the thing: Do you like to help other people? If your answer is yes, then your "shame" re: welfare is simply a pride issue. When you need help and refuse to accept it because of shame or pride or whatever, then you're denying others the chance to help you.


My non-legal advice lesson for the day: Bless others when you can by helping them and allow others the chance to bless you by helping when they can.

 

[Siflan]

I'm not ashamed to say I was public assistance for brief time after the birth of my child. I had a difficult delivery and needed help to get through. My mom was on public assistance for a year after a devastating illness and fall. I know a mom of three whose husband left her after her youngest was diagnosed with a terminal seizure disorder; managing it means she can't work--no daycares will take her child. She's on public asisstance and probably won't be off for a long time. The programs are there for a reason--to be used when there is a need.
Personally, I take issue when there are perfectly able-bodied folks who simply decide to live on welfare and abuse the system.

/end rant

Thanks for your reply. I understand more than most. You need it.. but you don't want to need it... but you wont survive if you don't... then you do... and you don't think you should, but you HAVE to... and then you feel guilty cause you did.

It is a roller coaster and balancing act. The welfare of your family, or the judgement of others. It was an easy decision for me... but I've had to ride out the consequences.

Now, to the issues at hand:

• Write the letter. Request the info I told you ask for.
• Once you have your case worker info, contact him/her, make them aware of the contact you had with your ex. Let them know your current contact and employment info, and any contact and employment info for your ex you might have.
• You have the right to file civil contempt for failure to pay. You would need an attorney to do so. It becomes a matter of:
  • just how much money are we talking about here?
  • does you ex have--or has he had--the means to have paid his support?
  • do you have the knowlege/ability to do this pro se(on your own), or the means to hire an attorney to represent you?
• You could push CSE to do this if payments do stop coming--they probably won't if he's paying--but their process takes forever. You'd be able to get a hearing date much sooner.

Thanks for the advice. I will give it a try.

 

[Siflan]

Here's the thing: Do you like to help other people? If your answer is yes, then your "shame" re: welfre is simply a pride issue. When you need help and refuse to accept it because of shame or pride or whatever, then you're denying others the chance to help you.


My non-legal advice lesson for the day: Bless others when you can by helping them and allow others the chance to bless you by helping when they can.

Pride maybe, somewhat.
I believe what you're explaining is karma. Yes, I do believe in that very much.